Hello! I'm new to AllNurses and apologize if I'm doing this incorrectly.
I have an ongoing issue with a family member. She gives unsolicited non-medical advice to others, including myself. She acts like a physician telling me and others our diagnoses, disease process and treatment. In some cases, my prognosis.
This person, my friends, is my mother-in-law. With nothing more than a certificate from hairdressing school, this woman is a body... of... knowledge!
How do I politely tell her that she is talking to someone with years of experience as a registered nurse. I know we don't and can't know everything, but this woman is teaching me about nerve pain and headaches. Did you know that Tylenol is an anti-inflammatory? She broke this news to me the other day.
Specializes in Psychiatry, Community, Nurse Manager, hospice.
My suggestion is to try to fulfill her need to be helpful and knowledgeable in some other way.
For example, ask her opinion on all things hair. What do you think of the ash look? Check out this YouTube video on herringbone braids. Could you do that for my daughter? What kind of shampoo do you recommend for my hair?
Or if you can't stand a single word of advice even on hair, ask her to tell you the story of the most difficult client she ever had. The best tip she ever got. The grossest hair she ever saw. Most impressive makeover.
She has also probably lived through things you never saw. Was she alive when Kennedy was shot? What was that like?
Isn't everyone's mother in law nuts? Just ignore her. If people are dumb enough to take medical advise from a hairdresser when they have a nurse in the family, that's their problem.
Thanks, mtmkjr! We've been together for 13 years, married for 6. I'm still not comfortable with confrontation with my MIL. I know she means well, she just loves to be the one who has the answer.
Another distant family member arrived at a gathering over the summer. She had skin cancer removed and we were all told in a casual conversation. We were in shock to find out just then. My MIL shows no compassion and quickly says, "Is it basal cell? I bet it's basal cell." Really? She had to ask?
When I was in the operating room having a C-section, my MIL couldn't help but tell the story about someone she knows who died during a C-section in the waiting room while my husband and mother were in there. We both made it, luckily, and my mother almost killed my MIL. ha.
There are just so many instances.
I guess you are wise to hold your tongue and just muddle on.
I think maybe she's lonely or needs attention.
Why do you think it was wrong for her to have asked if it was basal cell?
Isn't everyone's mother in law nuts? Just ignore her. If people are dumb enough to take medical advise from a hairdresser when they have a nurse in the family, that's their problem.
My MIL was wonderful. The best I could have hoped for. I really was blessed to have her and I wish she were still here.
Isn't everyone's mother in law nuts? Just ignore her. If people are dumb enough to take medical advise from a hairdresser when they have a nurse in the family, that's their problem.
Nope, my MIL is adorable, I just wish she would have taught her son to pick up his dirty socks.
My stepmother is a fount of knowledge about stuff I know way more about. She never raised kids, but was giving me lots of advice when I was babysitting my grandson. When I reminded her that I'd raised 6 kids she got a upset that I was being too touchy and critical of her.
The women goes on long monologues about everything. I love her, but am thankful she lives 2000 miles away.
My cousin is constantly talking about her plant based diet (AKA veganism). She really wants to convert me, even though I'm far more robust than she is. I love her, but she's super annoying sometimes.
Specializes in Cardiology, School Nursing, General.
Thanks, mtmkjr! We've been together for 13 years, married for 6. I'm still not comfortable with confrontation with my MIL. I know she means well, she just loves to be the one who has the answer.
Another distant family member arrived at a gathering over the summer. She had skin cancer removed and we were all told in a casual conversation. We were in shock to find out just then. My MIL shows no compassion and quickly says, "Is it basal cell? I bet it's basal cell." Really? She had to ask?
When I was in the operating room having a C-section, my MIL couldn't help but tell the story about someone she knows who died during a C-section in the waiting room while my husband and mother were in there. We both made it, luckily, and my mother almost killed my MIL. ha.
With nothing more than a certificate from hairdressing school, this woman is a body... of... knowledge!.thumb.jpg.e7b5bd336d518053002d5b4dbeef882b.jpg){kind=small}
Davey Do
10,666 Posts
HEY! CalicoKitty- Are we related? At least cosmically?
Rejection has always been a first-considered viable option in my family too!