So my background: I have some mental diagnosis anxiety, panic attacks, Bipolar, ptsd, adhd and depression. What led up to my whole issue here was a big man came into my work and tried to rob me of my narcotics, I wouldn’t give them up in fear he would just target the other nurses and I was trying to protect my patients and get him out but he beat me up pretty good triggering my ptsd and depression. My boss didn’t care or do anything so it sent me into deep depression and I quit my job to take time to heal. I Socially drank-but rarely, Never a drug user. Until after all this went down so last year, just after I quit my job, when I was taking time to heal, I Had a quick 4 week drug binge due to being an idiot and allowing myself to do horrible things for someone I loved so I let him shoot me up like he was doing to try and save our relationship plus I was still having issues with the attempted robbery. I quickly learned he wasn’t doing this for any other purpose than to kill me for life Insurance! So he was arrested and I went to out patient treatment, voluntarily, got on suboxone immediately because I could not handle the kick, it was horrible! During this time I was only on suboxone for only 6 weeks and I was done and good to return to normal. I took 2.5 months off of work total and went I was ready I applied at other places and found a new job. Been there since. I never did drugs before, not a narcotic pill taker or any other issues other than mental illnesses. and I’ve been clean for 9 months after my one and only 4 week use of IV drugs in my life! So I’ve always been medicated for my mental diagnosis but my doctors mess with my meds And can cause instability which effects my anxiety and I miss work. So they cut me off my Xanax cold turkey, had a fun withdrawal then the other stuff happens. I lost my PCP due to insurance changes and now have no medicine for anxiety or panic attacks. Also suffering from severe insomnia! I am on leave right now for exposure to COVID at work and have plenty of time to try and find psych help, I’ve been calling everyone with no luck! Got in to see a lady Who promised to help me with my anxiety and tell her (she can visibly see I’m having panic attacks and anxiety!) my BP is crazy high , I have adhd and with the insomnia I’m a mess! I tell her I need anxiety meds and she says she isn’t giving me Xanax cause She can see I was on suboxone (she’s assuming I like pain pills or benzos) and she’s looking at me like I’m a piece of crap! I am telling you I’m not right mentally right now so I told her “I don’t have a ***ing pill problem you judgmental ***! I didn’t have a pill addiction, I never have! I’m not asking for Xanax, I don’t want Xanax! Can’t you give me buspar or Zoloft with my bipolar meds? And something to help me sleep until I can stabilize? My suboxone use was for something else and it has nothing to do with why I’m here! Will you please deal with my anxiety and panic instead of sitting there judging me!!”? She asked if it was from drug use and I didn’t even have to say, she already knew somehow. As I’m in the middle of my panic attack and chest pains Which I’ve been dealing with for the last 6 days! she says she is going to report me to the board of nursing! She said I have no right to be a nurse! Being a nurse is the only thing I am good at! Plus none of this affects my work unless I’m not being treated for my anxiety which I can’t help! I immediately yelled at her “are you ***ing kidding me! I’m trying to get myself stabilized right now and you’re gonna take away the one thing going good In my life right now? The only thing I’ve got right my whole life? That’s like telling me you’re taking my life away, the way I pay for my house, I’ll be homeless and what about my kids!?! Huh?” Then told her “you might as well just sign my death certificate now cause I can’t live without my career!” Then told her she’s messed up and hopes she’s the one who has to explain to my kids why we are homeless and how one mistake takes away your whole career and life!
so I’ve done some research and have determined the only thing I messed up on was my license renewal and denial of drug use. That’s the only thing they can get me on. I won’t pass a hair test my use is 9 months ago. So busted for that. Can’t deny it with hair. I do have 9 months clean and I’ll never go back. I love my life and I made a huge mistake. I’m a great nurse, never had complaints. Everyone loves me there but if she reports me to the board what is going to happen? I can’t deny past drug use. I was off work at the time. Did the right thing. What the heck do I do now?!? Do I self report that I did have drug use 9 months ago, or admit to drug treatment 9 months ago.??? someone please help! I’ve never been so scared in my life!
I'm going through the same I just got reported to texas BON for falsifying documentation and worried I cant find a job or that they will fire me with stipulations come back. Anyone have this happen like her I'm panicking I have been a nurse for 6 months and this is already happening. I live in San Antonio area
Her chief complaint was me not telling the board I had an issue with drugs and didn’t report that to the state. I wasn’t even working at this time and handled it immediately! I’ve never had an issue with drugs prior and I won’t ever again. And me losing my career isn’t an option either. I have kids to support and I’m amazing at what I do. Me having one lapse in mental health seeking help and going to rehab shouldn’t take away my career. Yes I lied on my renewal but who hasn’t? Alcohol? Marijuana use? I know nurses who steal narcotics from work and still get to work (one nurse 3x before revoked) most nurses are addicts period! I just chose to do mine on my leave of absence and seek treatment in private because It was temporary. And I know a lot of nurses who are on suboxone and methadone daily.
It doesn’t matter what anyone else does or has done. What you have done is the issue. No, nurses don’t lie on their license renewals. I sincerely hope you get the help you need and get into long term therapy. Allowing someone to inject you with drugs while being a nurse and a single mom says that you have very serious issues. I hope you can find the help you need ❤️
Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory.
I'm sorry for the situation you're in and sending you virtual hugs. You came on this site because you wanted a bit of clarity, right?
I think you're dealing with too many issues for a few medications to handle. When you see the psychiatrist try not to have specific expectations. Certainly don't go off the rails if you don't get what you want.
You're smart to see an attorney; at this point a bit of damage control would go a long way.
I think at the moment you have 2 priorities: regaining your health and making sure your children are cared for while you do. Probably a good move to enlist CPS since you have no other social support where you are.
Hopefully by the time you see the Board you will be on a much more even keel and will be able to present yourself well and save your career.
Specializes in Psych, Addictions, SOL (Student of Life).
On 6/24/2020 at 10:13 AM, Maryslamb77 said:
Her chief complaint was me not telling the board I had an issue with drugs and didn’t report that to the state. I wasn’t even working at this time and handled it immediately! I’ve never had an issue with drugs prior and I won’t ever again. And me losing my career isn’t an option either. I have kids to support and I’m amazing at what I do. Me having one lapse in mental health seeking help and going to rehab shouldn’t take away my career. Yes I lied on my renewal but who hasn’t? Alcohol? Marijuana use? I know nurses who steal narcotics from work and still get to work (one nurse 3x before revoked) most nurses are addicts period! I just chose to do mine on my leave of absence and seek treatment in private because It was temporary. And I know a lot of nurses who are on suboxone and methadone daily.
Now you are just going off the rails. Weather you are using right now or not. You could still have a drug problem. The chief symptom of substance use disorder is "Self will run riot!" One thing to do is to try to go to a new doctor who will help you. The best way to do this quickly is to check yourself into a behavioral hospital immediately and get stabilized this can be don e in as little as 3 days (Usually more like 5) and you are out. You don't say how old your kids are but you are not serving their needs in this state. The way things are going you will find yourself in front of the BON sooner or later and then you will have no choice and severely limited medication options.
First you need to stop talking about this on an open, legally discoverable forum and get a consult with an attorney Start at https://www.taana.org
Pretty much everyone else. I wouldn't use that excuse when you go before the board.
This is the understatement of my day! I know this is a terrible situation for the OP, but I had to laugh at the idea of going before the BON and saying: "Sure I lied on my license renewal, but who hasn't?" OMG the expressions on the board members' faces would be priceless.
I am sorry for what you are going through. As a psy nurse who's studying to become a psy NP, I understand the struggles and stigma of mental health. Your situation is complicated but it is not the end. You need to choose the right path and make the right decisions. As other mentioned, get a lawyer to correct your mistake for lying to the BON. If your mental health is not addressed, this situation will get worse. Find a mental health provider that you feel comfortable with. Do not repeat your outburst behaviors (when you make suicidal statements like you mentioned, they can actually put you inpatient involuntarily to protect you). You also need psychotherapy to manage your PTSD and anxiety because medications (non benzo, non narcotic) will take time to work. You need to arrange your support system to help with your kids in case you have to go inpatient (voluntary or involuntary). I hope the best to you.
This is just my opinion, but if I was in your shoes I would check myself into inpatient mental health treatment, apply for disability benefits, and plan on taking 1-3 years to get my health and life in order. You have way bigger problems going on than your nursing license. That’s like worrying about the color of the paint on the front of your house while the back half is on fire.
Hi, OP. I came from a family with a lot of dysfunction and substance abuse. In fact, my adult some is a homeless heroin addict. Heroin, fentanyl, crack, speed, anything. He always has reasons to justify his usage and everyone else is in the wrong. When any plan that is suggested which doesn't involve some kind of drug use, he balks and disappears. He loves Xanax.
I have had my own issues which I won't go into here. Suffice to say I'm not stranger to severe ptsd and subsequent SA. That being said, your comments are all aimed at protecting your substance use and excuses for it.
Your focus should be your children. Please see a therapist regularly, have them get therapy, too, and go into outpatient rehab so you can be home with the kids. NA and AA are free resources.
Lastly, I would not be comfortable working with a fellow nurse that has taken something " to take the edge off". I know addiction is a disease and it's really, terribly hard and unfair. But you need to be crystal clear when you are responsible for the lives of others.
After you called her a "***", alluded to suicide and practically threatened her? Really? What did you expect? You're lucky she didn't pink-slip you right then and there. I feel bad for you, I really do but right now your illness is controlling you rather than you controlling it.
I’m pretty sure a psychiatrist can handle being talked to like that.
I’m pretty sure a psychiatrist can handle being talked to like that.
Never said they couldn't. What I said was that I'm pretty sure the threat to notify the board had little to do with the drug binge and more to do with her un-hinged behavior. No responsible physician is going to merrily hand out medications to someone who is so clearly off the rails. That would be grossly inappropriate.
I mean this in the kindest way, but I think your doctor made the correct decision. She has a duty to report unstable providers, and the Board has a duty to protect the public. Ultimately, it sounds like your life and mental health are unraveling from a number of factors, some you chose and some you didn't.
In your current state, you could not be trusted to safely provide care for patients. You aren't taking full accountability for a very serious addiction this year, were abusive to your provider, and essentially threatened suicide when you told her that she may as well sign your death certificate if she wouldn't give you the psych meds you wanted.
That doesn't mean you weren't a good nurse before, and it doesn't mean you won't be a good nurse again in the future. It doesn't mean you'll be in an unstable place for the long haul. It means right now, in this current state, you aren't safe for practice. You aren't in control of your thoughts or behaviors, nor are you demonstrating accountability for actions. You're also not in a place to truly recognize if your patient interactions and care are still appropriate. These are essential behaviors for a nurse to be safe.
The Board may want you to demonstrate mental stability and continuing sobriety before allowing you to return to nursing. Perhaps they'll require ongoing monitoring from a care provider, compliance with treatment regimens, counseling, attendance at sobriety groups, etc. If they discover that you lied on your renewal application, those restorative steps may not be an option; you need to accept the possibility that your license could be revoked. Hopefully in the future, you will be able to practice nursing again. If not, you are not out of options. There are many jobs you can find with a background in nursing that do not require an active license.
I'm sorry for the impacts mental illness and addiction are having in your life. It sounds very hard, but I hope you keep moving forward, one step at a time. You deserve treatment and an opportunity to heal. You are not defined by your mental health and addiction; your life has value.
Nursing is so stressful. Being a working mom is so stressful. You sound like you are in a very fragile state. I know you want everything to just be OK and carry on. But part of addiction is denial and you sound like you have a lot of denial going on. I think you need some real help and some time to get well. I believe you can. But I believe you are not well enough now to be able to function as a nurse. I agree, talk to a lawyer, this is like an onion with many layers, and you need someone to help you take the steps you need. The board has a policy of how to deal with these things. I think they will help you if you follow the plan and get help.
Little one 08
8 Posts
I'm going through the same I just got reported to texas BON for falsifying documentation and worried I cant find a job or that they will fire me with stipulations come back. Anyone have this happen like her I'm panicking I have been a nurse for 6 months and this is already happening. I live in San Antonio area