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catmom1 BSN, RN

LTC, Psych, Med/Surg
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catmom1 is a BSN, RN and specializes in LTC, Psych, Med/Surg.

catmom1's Latest Activity

  1. Hi OhioFNP, I live in Nebraska where any transgressions related to addiction leave the nurse with a permanent black mark. My career was destroyed by this consequence. I wish you the best in your journey.
  2. Thanks to all who responded to my first post here. I used to prowl the recovery forum here at least once a day, but I hadn't checked back here since the beginning of August. I am glad to know that even though I am not active here any more, I have kindred spirits here who have been through a kind of hell that no one could possibly grasp unless they had been there. We are in a sick profession that treats us like yesterday's trash and then has the nerve to act like it's doing us a favor. I salute you all as survivors.
  3. catmom1

    What would happen if I just surrendered my license?

    OP needs a lawyer with expertise in administrative law, which is different from criminal law if you want to try to keep your license. That being said, because my state makes sure I have a "black mark" on my license for the rest of my life, no matter how long I am "clean," I regret playing my state's little game. If your state is like mine: run, do not walk, to another career field. Now. I followed the rules to the letter to atone for my sin. Little did I know that I would be looked down on by potential employers until the day I die for a mistake I made on my first nursing job out of school. What an ignorant sucker I was! I am clean, which means I'm alive, but my career is ruined forever.
  4. catmom1

    Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty.....

    My career was completely destroyed when I "diverted" drugs at my first nursing job 20 years ago. Just within the last month, I had a company turn their nose up at me because of my "black mark." Do those fools have any idea what I went through to get an "unencumbered license?" My probation took SIX YEARS to get through because, at the depths of the recent economic depression, I couldn't find any kind of nursing job so my probation just kept stretching out endlessly. I finally petitioned the BON to end the probation because I had worked so many hours prior to losing my full time job that I fulfilled their requirement of X numbers of hours worked per quarter to have it reduce my probation time. Within the last two days, I heard an NPR report of a father suing one of the opiate manufacturers for his son's death. The son was an addict but had been drug free for many months at the time of his death. However, he was so ashamed of the stigma of being a "druggie" that he took his own life. I understand how the son felt, I think. Unfortunately I can't find a link to the piece but if I do, I will edit this post with the link. Suffice to say, many, many nurses have been shamed into taking their own lives by these BON's. I'd like to see some real statistics of how many nurses are able to complete these nightmare terms of probation. I'll bet a lot of them just throw in the towel. Sometimes I wonder if I should have. What's the point of breaking my back and eating dirt for the rest of my life when I can't even get a job with benefits any more?` That's enough for now. Bitterness is no recipe for a decent life.
  5. catmom1

    Nurses, Get Ready for Amazon Prime Day 2019

    Prime Day is more about marketing than anything else. I have Prime but if I take the time to shop around I can usually find a better price for what I need.
  6. Hi fellow nurses in recovery! I used to come to this forum quite a bit when I was going through my six years of license probation that has left me with a permanent black mark. My state never lets us evil addicts off the hook so my career was destroyed although I've been clean for close to 15 years. For several years, I have managed to get enough contract/per diem work to survive in spite of having crippling knee arthritis and no health insurance. Anyway, I had recently applied for another contract, on call type job to add to my "collection" and just this morning got the door slammed in my face because of my "black mark." The weird thing is that I am not as emotionally upset about this as I normally would be. When I got the email, I mentally shrugged and even responded to it, saying that I know the HR person couldn't care less but wanted them to know that my "crime" happened once 20 years ago. I mentioned that it was because of the medical condition of addiction. Maybe, just maybe, after all these years, I am retaining some sense of self worth in spite of what my state has done to me professionally. I personally think that it's a miracle I am alive after all I have endured. This hatred of addicts is a HUGE component of why an average if 130 people die of an opiate overdose every day! Thanks for reading. You guys get it, even if non-addicts have no clue. Catmom :paw:
  7. catmom1

    TPAPN RANT

    I will go to my grave bitter as hell at my destroyed career. I have been through with the daily call-ins that lasted SIX YEARS since 2012. I was never able to get a decent job because I have a permanent black mark from one mistake that I made during my first year of nursing. I am crippled from arthritis now and barely surviving financially but my anger at being treated like worthless human trash will burn in my soul forever. There is a special place in hell for those nurses who never let me have a second chance even after I became completely clean, sober, and program compliant. Any other profession would have let me atone and perhaps even admired my grit in maintaining recovery. Not nursing.
  8. catmom1

    Throwing in the towel, and feeling liberated

    I just noticed this old post & wanted to correct my mistake. My license has been unencumbered since 2012 NOT 2016!
  9. catmom1

    Dental work

    I asked my case manager this question back when I was being monitored. She told me that it was a myth that getting dental work done with a local anesthetic would cause a false positive for cocaine. I got the work done with no problems.
  10. catmom1

    Throwing in the towel, and feeling liberated

    When I got in trouble back in 2000 with the BON, I foolishly admitted everything, thinking I would get "help." Instead, my career was ruined in spite of me following every single requirement of my five year probation, which took me six years to complete because no one would hire me with my black mark. And, I will have that black mark on my license forever. I sure wish I would have gotten into ANY other profession that would have treated me like a human being who made a mistake at one time, instead of like damaged goods. Now I am crippled by knee arthritis and have no health insurance to get treatment. I have been reading and posting here since I got my license back in 2006. The license has been "unencumbered" since 2016 but again, the black mark is there forever and I have been denied many, many jobs because of it. I admire and support OP's decision and wonder if I should have done the same instead of accepting being treated as an unredeemable subhuman for all these years. My recovery was absolutely IN SPITE OF not because of what nursing did to me when I showed weakness. I am a good human being no matter how long nursing keeps telling me otherwise.
  11. Just reading this thread has me itching literally everywhere! Argh...
  12. catmom1

    "Fixin' to die"

    My first thought was that the OP had some kind of personal insecurity about being a nurse (I assume he/she is a nurse but there is no educational info on the profile). The reference to nonexistent "name calling" seems to support my hypothesis. If I am mistaken, I stand corrected. Secure people do not react like this, IMO. Catmom :paw:
  13. catmom1

    Sayings that help you

    This isn't exactly a saying but an idea that keeps me off the window ledge if I am threatening to go to a bad emotional place because I got "the shaft" in several areas of my life, including nursing. Well, I guess it IS a saying, lol: "Everyone has a reason they could feel like a victim." This helps me avoid comparing my inner life to someone else's outer life. One never knows what people are struggling with and my feeling like a victim is a good way for me to go to some very dark places in my life. I hope this helps someone, as it did me. :) Catmom :paw:
  14. catmom1

    For your reading pleasure

    I am in the process of reading the article linked in your first post. Thank you for this thought- provoking material. :) Catmom :paw:
  15. catmom1

    I want to get my RRT but have a tricky past...

    If you reveal anything more than they can find out anyway, you will likely get crucified. Trust me, I KNOW. Do NOT confuse the honesty of recovery with what the powers that be can do to you and your license if you start spilling your guts. Catmom :paw:
  16. catmom1

    Back after multi year hiatus and in monitoring

    Please, please don't give them a copy of your 4th step!!! You can provide documentation of stepwork without that. I am from Nebraska and completed 5 plus years of monitoring several years ago. It was disgusting to me to endure the observed urine drug screens, quarterly notes from my sponsor attesting that she was my sponsor, etc, etc, etc ad nauseum. Anyway, you can just use a statement from someone who knows you now or knew you when you were doing the steps that says you did do them. Don't give THEM any more ammunition to make your life miserable than is absolutely necessary. As I have said many times here and elsewhere, I recovered in spite of, not because of the bone crushing punishment meted out by my BON. Good luck and let us know how it goes! Catmom :paw: