Groped on the job...

[Tony35NYC]

I'm not sure if I should even be posting this on here, but just wanted to vent. I am a recent graduate in the middle of my preceptorship on a CVICU stepdown unit. I like the unit that I'm working on. Most of the nurses are ok, I like the unit manager, and I have a preceptor that I get along really well with.

Everything was going great, until about two and a half weeks ago, while I was on a quick restroom break. On my way out the door I was physically groped by another male nurse who was coming in. The event lasted for just a split second and I was so surprised that I couldn't believe it really happened. I immediately confronted him about it, and he tried to pass it off as a joke---laughing and all. I didn't think it was funny, but I was going to let it go. Then he made a suggestive remark which confirmed that he had done it on purpose. I go back to the nurses station, and my preceptor asks me what's wrong. I tell him about the incident and he tells me to report it to the nurse manager, which I did. When she calls up the other nurse he denies it happened. His version of the story is that he "innocently bumped into me" on his way into the restroom and that although he apologized, I got angry and overreacted.

Because of the hospital's sexual harassment policy, the nurse manager had to write up the situation and send it up the chain of command. He was sent on leave with pay "pending a thorough investigation", but there was no investigation as far as I can see. The guy quietly came back to work a few days ago and is working on a telemetry unit on another floor, and management seems to have swept the whole thing under the rug. Now I am being told that it boils down to his word against mine since no one else saw or heard the incident and that I have no proof that he really didn't accidentally bump into me. The guy is an older nurse (close to retirement) who's been working at the hospital for donkey years and is well-liked by almost everyone. And because I am the new kid on the block, the way a few of my co-workers are acting its like I'm the bad guy who's trying to make trouble. I don't get it! If I were a female who had been groped by a man I bet the outcome would have been different. I am still upset about this because I know it was no 'accident':angryfire.

[Jazuta]

:chair: It sucks bug time, but being the new guy and him being well liked there isn't much you can do without evidence I suppose.

But if he has done it to you he may do it to others, or already has.

But without a witness.....

[Larry77, RN]

Maybe the next time you run into him in the bathroom he will accidently brush into your fist in the gut!!! No marks his word against yours...

Anyway, I'm really sorry for your experience and I'm not so sure I would have handled it as calmly and professionally as you did...GOOD JOB!

What a sleeze, I have a gay male nurse friend who would never do something like that to me or any other guy. This guy is a creap gay or straight.

[gr8rnpjt, RN]

Perhaps I would have responded differently if this had happened anywhere else besides the workplace. But that loser dude just isn't worth the trouble I could get. At least the incident is now on record, and I'm sure he'll be real careful not to try it with anyone else.

Tony, you did the right thing, but I am shocked that the hospital would just reasign him. (kind of reminds me of what the Catholic church does to the inappropriate priests). My concern is that he could easily do "something" to a patient! They should have done more, but at least he is away from you. You did a good job and don't feel bad about it at all. What a creep!

[teeituptom, BSN, RN]

To Teeituptom, this is not about gay or straight; its about a sleazy and pathetic individual who tried to pull a fast one. He'd probably try the same thing on a female if he thought he could get away with it and maybe he has, who knows? This hospital is huge and there are many people of all different types and orientations working here, and I don't have any issues with that. For the most part, the people I work with are very professional, and even when they are kidding around I doubt most of them would even consider condescending to that type of behavior.

Yes, I could easily have beat him up, and the thought did cross my mind. But, weird as it sounds, he could turn around and press assaut and battery charges against me in both civil and criminal court, and I could also be fired. If I can't prove now that the incident was intentional how would I justify beating up a coworker over what, I'm sure, would be argued in court as an "accident" or "misunderstanding"? Further, I would then have a 'record' which could lead to losing my license. Perhaps I would have responded differently if this had happened anywhere else besides the workplace. But that loser dude just isn't worth the trouble I could get. At least the incident is now on record, and I'm sure he'll be real careful not to try it with anyone else.

In my belief system that has led me through all these years. I would have knocked him down in a second right then and right there, as I have been taught, I would have considered justifiable, righteous, and deserved. And I would have been proud to take a battery charge.

[psalm, RN]

...what happened is documented. Do you have a photocopy of the incident report? For your own peace of mind you should have one, just in case it disappears from his file.

...I am proud of you. It is very difficult to voice a complaint against a co-worker, esp. as a new-comer and esp. a sexually-charged complaint.

[cjcsoon2bnp, MSN, RN, NP]

Wow that really sucks. Some nasty old guy groped you. You did the right thing by reporting it. Good job on the professionalism.

As for Teeituptom, that is the ugliest attidude I have ever seen. I am not a gay guy but your homophobia is... its just a very ugly way to thing. You may not agree with how someone lives but you can be atleast civil about it. I am glad when I first wanted to become a nurse you weren't the nurse I met because if you were I probably wouldn't have wanted to still be one. I thought nurses were known for being kind and understanding. Looks like in your case thats a no...

[charlies]

Now all gay men I know, just can tell by looking at me that I am not gay and that I am overtly homophobic. Well I am and I fully admit to it, proudly.. And no gay dude has ever had the nerve to attempt anything with me. If they had , I promise their greatest fear would not be me going to administration and turning them in.... it would be whether or not they survived the beating I would give them.

That is just juvenile.

[curlyfries]

There is no such thing as justified homophobia. It doesn't matter, gay or straight, if someone "groped" you in the job, proper procedures are in place to file a complaint. Always document everything when it comes to sexual harrassment, otherwise it's his/her words against his/her words.

I am disappointed with the management response to the situation where the perpertrator was reassigned to another unit. I suppose we can learn from this situation rather then to say I would of "beat" him up or any acts of violence. Not suprised to the response with people with homophobia that believe any acts of violence towards someone different is justified base on their "belief system." There is nothing to be proud of when it comes to violence, none whatsoever. In nursing we are to be objective and non-judgemental when treating patients.

That's just my 2 cents I don't have! LOL

Moi

[control]

I think you did the right thing, definitely. Straight out of school I had a similar experience, but I always thought it was an "accident". Also, being from the South pet names like sweetheart are commonly used. I thought nothing of it. The light bulb finally lit up when he attempted to help me guide an IV into position....game over. After that I just stayed away from the guy. I should have reported it, but I let it go.

Good for you. You did what you could and what was called for. Also, if this guy ever interviews somewhere else that complaint filed will not sit well with a potential employer.

[control]

That is just juvenile.

Quite.

[Thunderwolf, MSN, RN]

This discussion thread could have gone south, not meaning to pun, very quickly folks. Thank you for saving it. Congrats to posters who kept in on track...supporting Tony in order for him to vent and to allow some validation in how he felt. Tony, I also believe you did the right thing. In my neck of the woods...the person who looses his temper first, resorting to violence, IS the loser. Yes, you could have resulted towards violence. But, if you did...guess what?...YOU LOSE...just like you said...in court and possibly your license. Is the guy worth that?...of course not. We have a guy RN on our floor who is abrasive and verbally abusive to staff...likes his macho mucho much. And believe me, MANY a staff would just love to tar and feather him or take him out back (male and female). It has come close...very close. So far, admin tolerates him. He knows how to suck up to the male docs. However, he WILL hang himself ...guaranteed. His own personality will hang him, his patterns of behavior...not one of us even throwing a punch. But, it will happen. So, pal, I have to agree that you came out a winner. NOW, there is a mark by his name. The down side, which apparently management is willing to risk, is that if he did it once, he will do it again. It will happen. When it does, you have another resource/victim to back up your prior claim that management THEN cannot ignore. So, keep your eyes and ears open...if you plan to stay there. It will happen again. Just like any hospital incident, document thoroughly and "objectively". You want your documentation fresh for you to review if it occurs again. And document date, time, who in admin/supervision you talked to, the results (when the guy took leave and when he returned), etc. You did a good job. You kept your cool and remained a professional. You deserve alot of praise.

Wolfie

[jasonn]

i would not have gotten the bosses etc involved. ... Now everyone scrammbles to cover their butts and you end getting a hard time./// Should have to the guy if he does it again you will beat his ass. End of situation