Groped on the job...

hipab4hands · Sep 11, 2005

. The guy is an older nurse (close to retirement) who's been working at the hospital for donkey years and is well-liked by almost everyone. And because I am the new kid on the block, the way a few of my co-workers are acting its like I'm the bad guy who's trying to make trouble. I don't get it! If I were a female who had been groped by a man I bet the outcome would have been different. I am still upset about this because I know it was no 'accident':angryfire.

The fact that the guy made a suggestive remark after groping you, shows exactly what his intentions were.

Personally, I wouldn't care if he was supposed to retire the next day. His behavior is totally uncalled for and needs to be stopped. He's probably been getting away for it for years, and no one has had the nerve to stop him.

Congratulations for standing up to him.

talaxandra · Sep 11, 2005

What a disturbing experience (including the aftermath) - I'm sorry you've had to go through this. It sounds like you've done all the right things, even if they haven't worked out optimally. Oh, and I think allnurses is the perfect place to vent!

UM Review RN, ASN, RN · Sep 11, 2005

Personally, I wouldn't care if he was supposed to retire the next day. His behavior is totally uncalled for and needs to be stopped. He's probably been getting away for it for years, and no one has had the nerve to stop him.

Tony, I understand your anger. No, it wouldn't have been all that different for a female--at least, the first few who had the guts to report.

After a few reports like this....the story might change.

I applaud you for making the report and I would hope that others in the same situation would also come forward.

PennyLane, RN · Sep 11, 2005

You did the right thing. Don't second-guess yourself. It's HIS fault, not yours. Hopefully this was a wake-up call for him and he will refrain from doing this in the future, as it's illegal and grossly inappropriate.

curlyfries · Sep 11, 2005

This reminded me of a show on T.V. called "caught on camera." There are hidden camera in all the desks where employees in a call center. One clip I saw was one employee was showing off his member to another male employee.

I am sorry that this happened to you when it shouldn't of happened. We men do feel violated when something like this happens. Even more so when the management don't take us seriously just because we're men. The attitude is that boys will be boys like in sports when they slap each other on the buttocks.

In nursing there will be a mix of gay and straight males, misunderstandings and misconceptions can happen. The workplace is not a place to "hook-up" but to take care of patients. I think it is important when it comes to educate about sexual harassment, it should include male to male, not just focusing on male/female.

For now this older male nurse has a record in case he does it again. I would try to find out if he done this before. I suspect that he done it before but not been reported.

live4today, RN · Sep 11, 2005

It's awful when it's a "he said/he said" matter. I wonder what that male will do on the tele unit he has been reassigned to. I'd keep an eye on him on that unit too just in case he has a habit of doing this with other employees.

It doesn't matter if the incident was a male hitting on a female or vice versa because I've had incidents of that nature (I'm female), and if there's "no proof".........then there's no case. :rolleyes:

Tweety, BSN, RN · Sep 11, 2005

You have every right to be upset.

At least you reported it and something at least happened and maybe he'll think twice about doing it to someone else. I've had an incident where a female agressively grapped my butt and I never said a thing.

I imagine these incidnets are a bit more common that people would like to believe. There's no excuse.

Hodge · Sep 11, 2005

Unfortunately, it does come down to his word against yours. If you were a women and he did the same thing, the situation would have been handled the same way. Bottom line is you did what you needed to do. You told him that his actions made you feel uncomfortable and you reported it. The hospital did what they should have done in the absence of evidence - they moved him to another area. Make sure you document any "retaliation" you feel you have received though.

teeituptom, BSN, RN · Sep 12, 2005

I'm not sure if I should even be posting this on here, but just wanted to vent. I am a recent graduate in the middle of my preceptorship on a CVICU stepdown unit. I like the unit that I'm working on. Most of the nurses are ok, I like the unit manager, and I have a preceptor that I get along really well with.
Everything was going great, until about two and a half weeks ago, while I was on a quick restroom break. On my way out the door I was physically groped by another male nurse who was coming in. The event lasted for just a split second and I was so surprised that I couldn't believe it really happened. I immediately confronted him about it, and he tried to pass it off as a joke---laughing and all. I didn't think it was funny, but I was going to let it go. Then he made a suggestive remark which confirmed that he had done it on purpose. I go back to the nurses station, and my preceptor asks me what's wrong. I tell him about the incident and he tells me to report it to the nurse manager, which I did. When she calls up the other nurse he denies it happened. His version of the story is that he "innocently bumped into me" on his way into the restroom and that although he apologized, I got angry and overreacted.
Because of the hospital's sexual harassment policy, the nurse manager had to write up the situation and send it up the chain of command. He was sent on leave with pay "pending a thorough investigation", but there was no investigation as far as I can see. The guy quietly came back to work a few days ago and is working on a telemetry unit on another floor, and management seems to have swept the whole thing under the rug. Now I am being told that it boils down to his word against mine since no one else saw or heard the incident and that I have no proof that he really didn't accidentally bump into me. The guy is an older nurse (close to retirement) who's been working at the hospital for donkey years and is well-liked by almost everyone. And because I am the new kid on the block, the way a few of my co-workers are acting its like I'm the bad guy who's trying to make trouble. I don't get it! If I were a female who had been groped by a man I bet the outcome would have been different. I am still upset about this because I know it was no 'accident':angryfire.

So what are you really mad about, 1 that he groped or 2 that he made a comment or 3 that your response was so ineffective.

Now all gay men I know, just can tell by looking at me that I am not gay and that I am overtly homophobic. Well I am and I fully admit to it, proudly.. And no gay dude has ever had the nerve to attempt anything with me. If they had , I promise their greatest fear would not be me going to administration and turning them in.... it would be whether or not they survived the beating I would give them. I wouldnt hesitate an instant to do so.

PS I dont harass women at work, not because I worry about administration, but I do fear retribution from that short little redheaded wife of mine.

UM Review RN, ASN, RN · Sep 12, 2005

So what are you really mad about, 1 that he groped or 2 that he made a comment or 3 that your response was so ineffective.
Now all gay men I know, just can tell by looking at me that I am not gay and that I am overtly homophobic. Well I am and I fully admit to it, proudly.. And no gay dude has ever had the nerve to attempt anything with me. If they had , I promise their greatest fear would not be me going to administration and turning them in.... it would be whether or not they survived the beating I would give them. I wouldnt hesitate an instant to do so.
PS I dont harass women at work, not because I worry about administration, but I do fear retribution from that short little redheaded wife of mine.

Tom, that was crass.

Blame the victim.

Way to go.

:stone

teeituptom, BSN, RN · Sep 12, 2005

Tom, that was crass.
Blame the victim.
Way to go.
:stone

I didnt blame him, I just pointed out my way of handlng something like that. And yes I would have done just like I said.