I'm not sure if I should even be posting this on here, but just wanted to vent. I am a recent graduate in the middle of my preceptorship on a CVICU stepdown unit. I like the unit that I'm working on. Most of the nurses are ok, I like the unit manager, and I have a preceptor that I get along really well with.
Everything was going great, until about two and a half weeks ago, while I was on a quick restroom break. On my way out the door I was physically groped by another male nurse who was coming in. The event lasted for just a split second and I was so surprised that I couldn't believe it really happened. I immediately confronted him about it, and he tried to pass it off as a joke---laughing and all. I didn't think it was funny, but I was going to let it go. Then he made a suggestive remark which confirmed that he had done it on purpose. I go back to the nurses station, and my preceptor asks me what's wrong. I tell him about the incident and he tells me to report it to the nurse manager, which I did. When she calls up the other nurse he denies it happened. His version of the story is that he "innocently bumped into me" on his way into the restroom and that although he apologized, I got angry and overreacted.
Because of the hospital's sexual harassment policy, the nurse manager had to write up the situation and send it up the chain of command. He was sent on leave with pay "pending a thorough investigation", but there was no investigation as far as I can see. The guy quietly came back to work a few days ago and is working on a telemetry unit on another floor, and management seems to have swept the whole thing under the rug. Now I am being told that it boils down to his word against mine since no one else saw or heard the incident and that I have no proof that he really didn't accidentally bump into me. The guy is an older nurse (close to retirement) who's been working at the hospital for donkey years and is well-liked by almost everyone. And because I am the new kid on the block, the way a few of my co-workers are acting its like I'm the bad guy who's trying to make trouble. I don't get it! If I were a female who had been groped by a man I bet the outcome would have been different. I am still upset about this because I know it was no 'accident':angryfire.
oh, never mind. This is going downhill and into the rough.
Good idea Angie. Take it from me, never argue with a homophobe.
To Tony, there's you're answer, you're not homophobic enough, not ugly enough, don't put of the right vibes to ward off the evil homosexual just lurking in the midst.
It's a terrible thing to go through. It's not your fault. You did nothing wrong by the way you behaved or didn't behave, or by the way you dressed or talked. Please know that.
Reporting is the right thing to do. If you find that your coworkers retaliate against you, there are steps you can take.
I have heard it all now. I see men and women flirting with each other, a coworker who advertises that she hasn't had sex in three years. but.... Never this scenario.
I tried putting myself in your place and I think I would be totally speechless if a woman did that to me. (Im female) I think you handled it the right way. There is no telling how many times this man has done this and passed it off as being innocent. I am proud of you for reporting it because a lot of men I know would have been embarassed and said nothing.
I bet this man will be watched by management a little more closely.
Tony, I think you did the right thing by reporting him. And I would be just as angry as you if another person touched me inappropriately, regardless of gender.
To Teeituptom, this is not about gay or straight; its about a sleazy and pathetic individual who tried to pull a fast one. He'd probably try the same thing on a female if he thought he could get away with it and maybe he has, who knows? This hospital is huge and there are many people of all different types and orientations working here, and I don't have any issues with that. For the most part, the people I work with are very professional, and even when they are kidding around I doubt most of them would even consider condescending to that type of behavior.
Yes, I could easily have beat him up, and the thought did cross my mind. But, weird as it sounds, he could turn around and press assaut and battery charges against me in both civil and criminal court, and I could also be fired. If I can't prove now that the incident was intentional how would I justify beating up a coworker over what, I'm sure, would be argued in court as an "accident" or "misunderstanding"? Further, I would then have a 'record' which could lead to losing my license. Perhaps I would have responded differently if this had happened anywhere else besides the workplace. But that loser dude just isn't worth the trouble I could get. At least the incident is now on record, and I'm sure he'll be real careful not to try it with anyone else.
....Because of the hospital's sexual harassment policy, the nurse manager had to write up the situation and send it up the chain of command. He was sent on leave with pay "pending a thorough investigation", but there was no investigation as far as I can see. The guy quietly came back to work a few days ago and is working on a telemetry unit on another floor, and management seems to have swept the whole thing under the rug. Now I am being told that it boils down to his word against mine since no one else saw or heard the incident and that I have no proof that he really didn't accidentally bump into me. The guy is an older nurse (close to retirement) who's been working at the hospital for donkey years and is well-liked by almost everyone. And because I am the new kid on the block, the way a few of my co-workers are acting its like I'm the bad guy who's trying to make trouble. I don't get it! If I were a female who had been groped by a man I bet the outcome would have been different. I am still upset about this because I know it was no 'accident':angryfire.
I have been sexually harrassed on the job, the a*****e admitted it to his immediate superior, along with the words "I guess that wasn't a very smart thing to do," and I didn't get anywhere near the action you got!
I was confronted in a group of management types and repeatedly asked whether I had ever told him not to say and do those things. I didn't know at the time that he (as a licensed clinical psychologist!) was supposed to know better. In fact, they use something called a "reasonable person" standard, if a "reasonable person" would think it was inappropriate, it was inappropriate!
But back to you. He was off work for a couple of days. People know about it. He was not allowed back to your unit, but is having to work some place else.
I think you won, hon. Keep your chin up, don't talk about it anymore (except here--we are safe!), and just let it go. You can't have been the first, you are just the first you know about. Someday, someone is going to tell you "the rest of the story."
But you did win. And you did everything right. Good for you!
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UM Review RN, ASN, RN
1 Article; 5,163 Posts
Yeah, Tom you did.
By the way, does security know you bring your golf clubs to work?