Get married during nursing school??

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My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years and have been talking more and more about marriage. But it all makes me really nervous! I want to make sure we do it right. Here are the details :)

I am a current sophomore, he is a current junior in Finance.

Talking about getting married next summer, making him a senior, me a junior.

Will have by then about $10,000 saved between the two of us.

He will have about $20,000 debt coming out of school.

We are Christians who have pledged purity until marriage.

Stress #1: Money! Do you think we'll be stable enough to sustain ourselves? I don't need fancy stuff, but we definitely don't want to go more into debt. (Dave Ramsey fanatics:D)

Stress #2: Nursing school! I don't want the stress of clinicals (which I haven't started) to damage our relationship in the sensitive 1st year..

We feel that our relationship is definitely progressing in that direction and we feel we have the maturity - what is your advice/experience? I'd love to hear any and all advice!

(My sister got married at 20, he was 19..been married 8 years now)

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If you feel ready for marriage, then go for it. What should give you pause concerning nursing school is the decision to start a family. A ton easier to get through nursing school without the added burdens of pregnancy and the first few months of parenthood. Best wishes.

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Specializes in Infusion.

1. I don't see why not. Yes, nursing school will be stressful. Yes, the normal level-headed, calm, patient YOU may become a little crazed, harried and completely unreasonable when you need to write up a couple of 10 page patient preps the evening before clinicals (you'll get done at midnight and need to wake up at 5:30 am to get to the clinical site on time). Sounds like the man you want to marry has also taken up a challenging major. Though it is not as challenging as the whole nursing school schedule, he sounds like he will understand your commitment to getting the studying you need as well as the writing you'll be doing. Heck, maybe he can be a guinea pig for injections : )

2. Don't make marriage all about a big expensive wedding. You'll hear the average wedding cost is like $20,000. Forget about spending, or should I say, throwing away that kind of money. Enjoy a simple wedding with friends and family making is special. Wish you both the best and yes, don't add kids to the mix before you get out of school and begin your first job.

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I am marrying my fiance this December during my winter break. We already live together though. He is definitely my rock when it comes to stressful times, and Im so thankful that I have him by my side while I tackle the task of Nursing School. If you two really love each other and want to make it work then you won't let the stress of school damage your relationship. Rather, you will learn from it and make your relationship stronger!

Do I think you will be stable enough to sustain yourself? Only you can answer that. It depends on whether you both work, amount of bills, spending habits etc. I will say that as two twenty somethings whom are both in school, we are doing just fine. However, we have both lived on our own since we were 18 and have a good handle on living away from home. So, if you are just moving out of your parents, it might take a while to get a grip on everything. :) Good luck!!

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Ps. We are only spending $2500 on our wedding and we are just fine with it. Dont feel like you have to "keep up with the Jones'".

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Specializes in CNA/LPN.

I agree with windmill, 100% - I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years and we're finally discussing marriage. :D If you feel you're ready, go for it! As said above, becoming pregnant and other various stresses or life changes can put a burden on your nursing career - you said he's very supportive and is there for you through nursing school, and that's great! I say go for it, and small weddings are just fine - as well as having a wedding with a lot of DIY decor...I think that makes a wedding more beautiful and unique! If this is what you want, go for it! Good luck! :D

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Specializes in Ortho/Med/Surg.

well, I don't know if I ever could be able to go through my nursing school without my husband's support. Needless to say, we have 1-year-old son. So, I'll say - go for it!

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Specializes in LTC.

https://allnurses.com/general-nursing-student/i-may-getting-363794.html

I posted the same exact thing a few years ago and received a great advice. I ended up waiting. I was actually glad I did. I got married 2 weeks post graduating from NS. I was able to enjoy my new husband without the stress of NS. Good luck on what ever you decide.

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I got married roughly 15 days before I started my FIRST semester of nursing school. We moved to a town close to 2 hours away from our familys. My husband has a job which requires him to be gone for one week and then he returns home and has a week off..week on..week off. On his weeks off he was currently not in school because the campus I was attending did not have the degree program he was currently in at the other campus. Needless to say it is diffucult. I was quite the shock for him to realize that school and homework were my priority. It can be tough at times but you just have to be able to organize your time. Since your fiance is also going to school he might not feel as neglected. Marriage is a beautiful journey and to be honest Im not sure I could have made it through with out my husbands emotional support. He has been so encouraging, supportive, and motivating. There is no better thing than coming home to my husband after having a rough day at clinicals.

Im not sure if there ever is a "perfect" time to get married. There will either be school or work, after you graduate you will be overcome by trying to find a job, and then working as a new nurse. I got married when I was 21 and am now 23 and still married to the same fantasic man, I know in reality being married for 2 years is not quite that big of a deal, but still an accomplishment to me. I think with out trials and rocky roads you have no opportunities to grow with eachother and become a better couple for it.

I think you should pray about it, God will not lead you astray.

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If you wait until you're older and have been working a while, you'll have much more to spend on your wedding and new combined life together. Your wedding is special, it's not just another party so you'll likely regret going "bargain basement" on it. Plus you're young, and statistically marriages have a better shot when the partners are closer to 30 than 20 at the time they get married.

I'll admit I'm biased - I'm from an area where the average age of 1st marriage is around 30 , everybody lives with their BF/GF for a while beforehand, and nobody is a virgin (you're virtually "un-dateable" if you're a virgin past about age 22 around here). I was glad I waited until I was 30 because I felt it was really important to have a few years "on my own", financially self-sufficient and living alone. I know I was able to make a mature decision when the time came.

That being said, if you do decide to get married so young, just make sure you see a gyno NOW and get on birth control. An unplanned pregnancy during school can derail both your careers, and birth control is something you want to plan for rather than wait until the last minute or after-the-fact emergency contraception.

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Specializes in LTC.
If you wait until you're older and have been working a while, you'll have much more to spend on your wedding and new combined life together. Your wedding is special, it's not just another party so you'll likely regret going "bargain basement" on it. Plus you're young, and statistically marriages have a better shot when the partners are closer to 30 than 20 at the time they get married.

I'll admit I'm biased - I'm from an area where the average age of 1st marriage is around 30 , everybody lives with their BF/GF for a while beforehand, and nobody is a virgin (you're virtually "un-dateable" if you're a virgin past about age 22 around here). I was glad I waited until I was 30 because I felt it was really important to have a few years "on my own", financially self-sufficient and living alone. I know I was able to make a mature decision when the time came.

That being said, if you do decide to get married so young, just make sure you see a gyno NOW and get on birth control. An unplanned pregnancy during school can derail both your careers, and birth control is something you want to plan for rather than wait until the last minute or after-the-fact emergency contraception.

I got married at 20 years old in 2008, my divorce hearing is next week. I simply was not ready at 20 and wish I would have waited. :crying2:

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I got married at 20 years old in 2008, my divorce hearing is next week. I simply was not ready at 20 and wish I would have waited. :crying2:

I'm sorry, it sounds like you're going through a lot. I know there is risk that goes along with everything in life (getting married), we can never truly be guaranteed a good outcome. Best wishes to you in the future.

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