My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years and have been talking more and more about marriage. But it all makes me really nervous! I want to make sure we do it right. Here are the details :)
I am a current sophomore, he is a current junior in Finance.
Talking about getting married next summer, making him a senior, me a junior.
Will have by then about $10,000 saved between the two of us.
He will have about $20,000 debt coming out of school.
We are Christians who have pledged purity until marriage.
Stress #1: Money! Do you think we'll be stable enough to sustain ourselves? I don't need fancy stuff, but we definitely don't want to go more into debt. (Dave Ramsey fanatics:D)
Stress #2: Nursing school! I don't want the stress of clinicals (which I haven't started) to damage our relationship in the sensitive 1st year..
We feel that our relationship is definitely progressing in that direction and we feel we have the maturity - what is your advice/experience? I'd love to hear any and all advice!
(My sister got married at 20, he was 19..been married 8 years now)
Specializes in maternal child, public/community health.
I would ask my dad if he would be willing to contirbute whatever of the 20K you do NOT spend on the wedding to helping you finish school. You could do a decent wedding for way less than that. That would reduce the financial pressure for the first year. BTW, congrats on learning from Dave Ramsey while you are still young. That will help you in many ways in the years to come.
I say maybe it will be best to wait until of u all get your degree. U don't want to start a marriage off with finical difficulty. U all been together for 3years what the harm in waiting another year or two. I have friends who been with their man for alot longer than u been with yours, and the only reason why they have not jump the broom is because they're finishing school. If u love one another there is know rush. Real Talk when the bills start rolling the company's do not want to hear I just got married they want their money. LOL :redpinkhe:yeah:
I'm sorry, it sounds like you're going through a lot. I know there is risk that goes along with everything in life (getting married), we can never truly be guaranteed a good outcome. Best wishes to you in the future.
Thanks. Yeah, I was young and dumb. I so wish I would of waited to get married. My soon to be ex-husband was a wonderful husband and a great man but we just didn't fit together. It breaks my heart to being going through a divorce at 22. At that time I didn't know who I was and was in such a big rush to be "married". Lesson learned though. I just wish more people would wait.
OP- When me and my husband first got married we too had over 10,000 saved. Trust me when I say it does not last long. Hope your marriage last longer then mine did. Best wishes.
I don't know where you live or what your expenses are, but $10K is pocket change if you guys are on your own and paying rent. You both should get part time jobs if you can, to help hold you over until one of you graduates and can work a full time job.
And you might at least want to consider scheduling the wedding after your 21st birthday, so you can have the champagne and wine. IMO not being able to partake in your own wedding toast and open bar is a big deal, and one worth scheduling the wedding so that you're not underage at the time.
Have you looked into what kind and size of wedding you can get in your area for $20K? The average wedding in my area runs at least double that, unless you want to go really small (under 50 people, immediate friends and family only).
Hey, Just some advice from someone who is going through this now :). I got engaged this summer (yay!). I am 21 and my fiance is 23, already graduated. I am a year behind (changed my major after freshman year to nursing) and I am currently in my first "real" semester of nursing school, which is my senior year of college (I'm in a BSN program)...so I will graduate May 2013.....
Listen, if you are ready to get married and you know it's going to happen and you're ready to make the commitment for the rest of your lives, it is totally possible to plan a wedding during nursing school. Granted, I had the whole month of July and August to make most of my plans for the wedding, which is next June. It isn't as bad as you hear, I have had blast planning my wedding and I can't wait to get married. One thing I would worry about is that most places book up a year in advanced, so if you want to get married next summer, don't waste anytime booking a ceremony/reception place! I called in July for next June, and ALL the saturdays were taken and about three Fridays were left, so people aren't lying saying you need a year to plan.
And about the money, that is CRAZY to think you can't plan a wedding with 20k!! My dad is a retired fire fighter and our budget is around 11k and I am going to have a beautiful wedding, with around 220 people and I'm not leaving anything out. There are many ways to work the system and have a wedding without taking a second mortgage out, haha.
A couple of girls in my class have gotten married during NS and all seems well. If you are ready, and think you can do your wedding planning along with NS, then go for it! Would I ever attempt this? Nooo. I can't imagine the stress of NS and planning a wedding at the same time. I am creative and very detail oriented, I wouldn't get any sleep planning my perfect wedding all the while trying to study med/surg or pharm.
rileysaunt
13 Posts
very good points! I appreciate the input.
and for everyone's sake - I'm already on BC for cysts so (hopefully) a baby would be out of the question for a loooong while! :)