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Nurses General Nursing

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i have no idea where the er is getting these people from but i wish theyd send them back...lol

they are sick..yes...but for goodness sakes!

i cant raise the head of my bed (i can however use the phone and change channels on my tv)

oh no im having chest pains...my chest really hurts (now while you go call the doc, im gonna call my friend and wish her happy birthday and then ill finish dinner while you warm up the ekg)

i REALLY REALLY REALLY have to go to the bathroom...right now..oh i have to go. i have to go NOW.

but first let me watch a little of the grammy's and chat with you a while. you just stay here until im ready to stand up then pivot to my bedside commode (i can do this, i can walk and EVERYTHING, i just need you to stand here)

could you heat my tray

could you heat my coffee

could you heat my coffee again...i didnt drink it yet

do you have any cream?

oh i hurt i hurt i hurt ...do you want your morphine? no thanks.

i dont like this food...get me something i like.

straighten up my bed (ill stand here and watch you)

i cant get in bed by myself (i can walk to the bathroom tho)

pull me up in bed (no theres nothing wrong with my legs, i just like you to do it)

this week has been CALL BELL HELL

The other nite, a patient's family was in the room and when i walked in they asked me..........."Does this hospital room have internet access so our mom can use her laptop?" WTF!! Isn't this a hospital?!?!?...If you are well enough to be concerned about wanting to venture on the internet..it is time to go home! Also, if a patient doesn't like our water...we even have bottled water! By the way, our regular water from our purifier machine is very yummy and ice cold...not well-water or inundated with wierd taste.

Specializes in HIV/AIDS, Dementia, Psych.

I have really enjoyed reading all of your stories :)

I work in LTC and I had one resident come up to me at the desk while I was writing on report during lunch to let me know that he asked 'the waitresses' in the dining room for some more food and they said no. I told him 'First of all, there are no waitresses here. There are Certified Nurse's Aides and Nurses. Secondly, if you would like a second helping of your lunch, I'd be glad to call dietary and get you one' To that he replied 'I don't want a second helping of the pasta, I want hot dogs' I told him hot dogs weren't on the menu today to which he replied 'Well, they're not that hard to make, couldn't you just make me some?' I told him I didn't learn that in nursing school and he walked away muttering 'This place sucks'

I also have an old man who is ambulatory and does pretty much everything for himself. EVERY SINGLE MORNING when I go in with his meds he has about 42 complaints. From his breakfast to housekeeping, to the CNAs, to me EVERYTHING is a complaint. Yesterday morning at the end of his daily rant, he asked me who was going to make his bed and empty his urinal? He was up, dressed, and reading the paper. I told him...YOU ARE! These people make me SO MAD sometimes! I am not your maid!

Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..

I took care of a resident one time who had a mild case of Alzheimers, but he was sick enough to be placed in the Alzheimers unit. About two hours after he was placed there, the fire bell went off, and of course we all went into action! Come to find out he pulled the firebell to get out of the place. He wanted to go home so bad. Poor guy. It was funny though.

I enjoyed my patient who called 911 from her room.....said no one would answer her call light.... cant remember what her issue was, but I know it wasnt a medical emergency!

Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.

We have one NOW that VERY alert VERY oriented, turns himself in the bed just FINE, WILL NOT turn off of his left side at ALL, then ******* when he gets a pressure sore. And STILL won't get off his side! He is incontinent of urine, and the last time i did private care he said "All you wanna do is touch my ****". Well let's put it this way, there's not MUCH even THERE to look at, and it's taking a lot of self-control to not inform him of this. Instead i just said "it's not in my job description to wanna touch it."

grrrrrrrrrrrr :(

Our administration just spent a gazillion dollars so that all of our med-surg patients could have a ceiling mounted monitor with mega-channels cable tv, dvd player, internet radio and web access. And they can't fork over the cash so nursing can move to computer charting. I may as well carve my nurses' notes in stone! The kicker is that our typical med surg patient is about a hundred years old and could care less about the high tech stuff. Things that make ya go hmmmmmmmmm.

Specializes in ER, ICU, L&D, OR.
Our administration just spent a gazillion dollars so that all of our med-surg patients could have a ceiling mounted monitor with mega-channels cable tv, dvd player, internet radio and web access. And they can't fork over the cash so nursing can move to computer charting. I may as well carve my nurses' notes in stone! The kicker is that our typical med surg patient is about a hundred years old and could care less about the high tech stuff. Things that make ya go hmmmmmmmmm.

I remember when we did use stone tablets

kept me in good shape carrying those things around

switched to paper and now Im fat and lazy

hahahahahaha :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..

my2sons

Our administration just spent a gazillion dollars so that all of our med-surg patients could have a ceiling mounted monitor with mega-channels cable tv, dvd player, internet radio and web access. And they can't fork over the cash so nursing can move to computer charting. I may as well carve my nurses' notes in stone! The kicker is that our typical med surg patient is about a hundred years old and could care less about the high tech stuff. Things that make ya go hmmmmmmmmm.

Ummm, where did you say that hospital is? I'm a frequent flyer to the hospital, and the one I go to has gotten very boring. I'm interested in the high tech stuff. :chuckle

new admit, ambulates with a walker. So I tell her the first time she OOB's, to call, I want to assess her gait. Call light goes off, I walk with her, she does just fine. call if you need me.... "wait" she says. ( uhha) , "I can't reach"

you can't reach what? I ask. "back there"... pointing to her bottom.

Ugh! Well what do you do at home? I ask, ever so nicely. "well at home I just have to manage, but now that you're here...."

(oh hellll no!)... so I give her my favorite reply. "one of the most important aspects in nursing is maintaining and improving a patients functional status. I would never wish to interfere with your ability for self care..... BARF BARF, GET THE BOOTS ON... should you need help with anything you CAN'T do for yourself.... call me.

Well mrs. I can wipe my own orifice, called the charge nurse!!!!!! Charge told her, yes, your nurse is correct. Let us know if we can help otherwise. THE FREAKIN nerve!

Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.
(oh hellll no!)... so I give her my favorite reply. "one of the most important aspects in nursing is maintaining and improving a patients functional status. I would never wish to interfere with your ability for self care..... BARF BARF, GET THE BOOTS ON... should you need help with anything you CAN'T do for yourself.... call me.

Well mrs. I can wipe my own orifice, called the charge nurse!!!!!! Charge told her, yes, your nurse is correct. Let us know if we can help otherwise. THE FREAKIN nerve!

You have the Queen of Charge Nurses there........

When I was a student nurse one of my patients who was slung up with 2 broken arms asked me to scratch his scrotum for him because he couldn't reach.

I scratched. EWWWWWWWWW!

Always got to keep in mind those patient satisfaction surveys--haha!:chuckle

I am a waitress part time, and to tell you the truth, most of the time I cannot tell the difference between waitressing and nursing...I've made this comparison many times and still stick to the fact: they're all always wanting something. :rolleyes:

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