welcome to the hilton...please dont forget to tip your waitress

Nurses General Nursing


i have no idea where the er is getting these people from but i wish theyd send them back...lol

they are sick..yes...but for goodness sakes!

i cant raise the head of my bed (i can however use the phone and change channels on my tv)

oh no im having chest pains...my chest really hurts (now while you go call the doc, im gonna call my friend and wish her happy birthday and then ill finish dinner while you warm up the ekg)

i REALLY REALLY REALLY have to go to the bathroom...right now..oh i have to go. i have to go NOW.

but first let me watch a little of the grammy's and chat with you a while. you just stay here until im ready to stand up then pivot to my bedside commode (i can do this, i can walk and EVERYTHING, i just need you to stand here)

could you heat my tray

could you heat my coffee

could you heat my coffee again...i didnt drink it yet

do you have any cream?

oh i hurt i hurt i hurt ...do you want your morphine? no thanks.

i dont like this food...get me something i like.

straighten up my bed (ill stand here and watch you)

i cant get in bed by myself (i can walk to the bathroom tho)

pull me up in bed (no theres nothing wrong with my legs, i just like you to do it)

this week has been CALL BELL HELL


566 Posts

Specializes in ER, Hospice, CCU, PCU.

We are building a new ER and all the rooms will have T.V.'s.....I can't wait!!!!!!

:o :( :o


837 Posts

Pull you up in bed? I'm sorry sir/madam, but this unit has a "No Lift" policy, in order that patients be encouraged to participate in light therapeutic movement, to reduce incidence of DVT, and so as not to foster dependency, which in turn leads to a longer hospitalisation. Do it yourself.


109 Posts

My favorite was a drug-seeking patient in with intractable N/V who hit that call light the moment her Tigan shot was due. 5 minutes prior I'd checked on her and found her sleeping quietly in no distress, now she's clutching her abdomen, moaning, and making noises similar to someone trying to bring up phlegm.

"Sorry, but I'm waiting for the pharmacy to tube it up. I'll get it to you as soon as it gets here."

2 minutes later the light is on again. The other LPN on the floor answers the light (knowing this pt's whole story).

Pt askes her, " Can I get some coffee with cream?".....



14 Posts



657 Posts

ohhhhhhhh the stomach people. had one of those the other day. pancreatitis.

can i eat?


why not?

it will make your pain worse.

well then go get my son some ginger ale.

and a popsicle.

i couldnt believe that. i didnt even get a tip...lol

last night i told both my crybabies that they had to do things for themselves. they didnt need pulled up in bed. they didnt need help to walk 2 ft to the bedside commode. but these were the kind of people that dont want you to leave their room so my reasoning with them only helped their cause.

ended up being easier to just do it so they would shut up. but they didnt shut up anyway. it was always something else.

passing meds:

should i take this pill?

yes (thats why i gave it to you dummazz)

but should i take it on an empty stomach?


but my doctor said i should only take one of these

well your doctor ordered two

but see when i was at home i only took one

but now you are in the hospital so you are taking 2

well i have home health care and my nurse said.................................................................................................................................................

i put the pill on her table and said..here is your medicine. take it if you want to, dont take it if you dont want to. youre the boss.

assessing the patient:


no..YOU better hope you move your bowels.

there are 4 people on our unit that absolutely REFUSE to do ANYTHING for themselves. and they can. but they want everything handed to them because its our job. i should just unplug the call lights tonight...lol

micro, RN

1,173 Posts

call bell hell!!!!!

Er with tv's,

let's just say no real sick people in hospital, just come in and rest and be pampered for awhile at our hospital spa!!!!!

then what happens to the people/patients in need that ................


customer service=good medical/nursing care.(period) of course with respect and being nice to patients and families............

the motel 6 and Hilton is down the road>>>>>>>>>


141 Posts

What about the fresh post-op who opens thier eyes and must eat. so you check their diet yep MD says dat or reg so you feed them and they vomit straight away. wonderful is'nt it.


1,961 Posts

Our call light system is set up on this little computer/phone thing. The unit clerk can put pre-programmed messages into our beepers. I was looking through all the messages the other day, and there is actually one that says "Pt. wants pop".

Mind you, these are perfectly healthy post partum pts. There's nothing I love more than the "you need to increase ambulation" explanation :D



152 Posts

Maybe I am a mean nurse, but I encourage ("make") people that are capable of doing things for themselves, do things for themselves. In triage, I teach patients how to parent their children ("but he/she doesn't want to..." "You are the parent. You are the person in control. When you get a pet, do you let them mess on the furnitu or livingroom rug because they "don't want to" go outside? No, you teach the pet the rules of the house until he asks to go out. Children are more vocal in their protestations, but the essential idea is the same. Maybe your child doesn't want togo to bed or get a rectal temp, but when you are the child, sometimes u don't get the choice. One night we had a 3-5 hr. waiting period for all nonacutes, man with son and belly pain, waited 45 min., yelled at triage 2x. I'm charge so I go out. Kid's eating fritos and drinking mountain dew. Of cours o distress on arrival. (Diagnosis? GAS!) Father thinks his kid needs to go in front of all in WR, standing room only, folks lying on floor, etc. Yells at me, tried x3 to diffuse, finally I had it. Pointing acroos waiting room, "Do you see all these people? The've been waiting too, some for hrs. Your son is in no acute distress and yes it is ridiculous that the wait is so long. If your child's belly hurt that bad, #1 he would not be hungry, and #2 you never should have allowed him to eat in the first place. And you are right, I do not know how hard it is to wait out here. Would you like to step in my shoes? I have an entire dept. FULL of people, rooms, halls, holds full. Three on vets, waiting for ICU/CCU, and cannot move them until the patients in the beds upstairs move. All these other people are tired of waiting too. Instead of doing what I can to get these people moved so I can get the rest of these folks in to get closer to geting you in, I have to be out here fighting with you. As soon as I have a place to put him I will bring him in, but I assure you, your yelling at me is not going to make things any easier." Half the waiting room broke out in applause. Got 3 nice nurse letters for that day. Go figure. After the man spoke with me, called the primary, who told him the ER has the obigation to get all patients seen in a timely manner. He told me this. I CALLED the primary myself and said if he wants his patients to be seen immediately, he is more than welcome to come in and see them himself and how DARE he delude himself into thinking he has any idea what the situation here is like. (Guy's a quack anyway!) He spit and sputtered and said no thank you and hung up. Still expecting nasty nurse note from him, but none yet!


859 Posts

Amy, you rock. :cool:

nursedawn67, LPN

1,046 Posts

Specializes in Geriatrics, LTC.

When I worked in the hospital I had seen many patients there with chest pain trot their happy fannies all the way out to the front parking lot to have a cigarette and then come in asking for pain meds and c/o chest pain.

And the residents in the nursing homes are not much better!

One lady (who A &O), informed that her insulin doses had been changed around rang at 11pm to have her blood sugar checked, well it was above 200, so says ok and goes to sleep. At 2 am she tells one of the nursing assistants "oh god I'm having a reaction! Get the nurse quick! I need my sugar checked!" So I go flying in there with glucometer and I see this resident coming from the batroom in her wheel chair getting ready to put herself back to bed and she looks at me and starts moaning and groaning "oh god I'm dying! You have to send me to ER! Oh god why does this keep happening to me! Oh god you have to do something!" Mean while she is hopping her hiney into bed! I take her BS and it comes back 212! So I tell the lady this and she says "oh ok, nevermind" and rolls over and goes to sleep!

I have seen A&O patients demand that you come empty their urinal, never mind that you are trying to pick up their not so A&O roomate from the edge of the bed before he falls out!

I have seen the patients that come to ER that are absolutely dying sitting there complaining and drinking a pop and even going out to have a cigarette.

Anyhow.....I suppose this could go on forever with so many cases!

LOL :chuckle

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