welcome to the hilton...please dont forget to tip your waitress

Nurses General Nursing

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i have no idea where the er is getting these people from but i wish theyd send them back...lol

they are sick..yes...but for goodness sakes!

i cant raise the head of my bed (i can however use the phone and change channels on my tv)

oh no im having chest pains...my chest really hurts (now while you go call the doc, im gonna call my friend and wish her happy birthday and then ill finish dinner while you warm up the ekg)

i REALLY REALLY REALLY have to go to the bathroom...right now..oh i have to go. i have to go NOW.

but first let me watch a little of the grammy's and chat with you a while. you just stay here until im ready to stand up then pivot to my bedside commode (i can do this, i can walk and EVERYTHING, i just need you to stand here)

could you heat my tray

could you heat my coffee

could you heat my coffee again...i didnt drink it yet

do you have any cream?

oh i hurt i hurt i hurt ...do you want your morphine? no thanks.

i dont like this food...get me something i like.

straighten up my bed (ill stand here and watch you)

i cant get in bed by myself (i can walk to the bathroom tho)

pull me up in bed (no theres nothing wrong with my legs, i just like you to do it)

this week has been CALL BELL HELL

Specializes in Med-Surg, Long Term Care.
I am a waitress part time, and to tell you the truth, most of the time I cannot tell the difference between waitressing and nursing...I've made this comparison many times and still stick to the fact: they're all always wanting something. :rolleyes:

Before I became a nurse, I used to marvel at waitresses and think, "I could NEVER do that job!". Now I know that if I ever quit nursing and need a job, I'll feel right at home as a waitress.

I also wish we had trays to carry all of our stuff-- from juice and soda to fresh ice water, along with oral meds, IV piggybacks, and wound care supplies, it'd be really convenient to pile everything on a tray and hoist it all up on a shoulder.

:)

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Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.

I'd like to strap a tip jar to my butt then (on the front would interfere with lifting.)

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I'd like to strap a tip jar to my butt then (on the front would interfere with lifting.)

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

I had a pt try to give me $10 once coz "You sweet little nurse, that was the best enema I ever had!" Just think how much we could collect with tip jars on our butts!!

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Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.

Yeah but my luck i'll pick someone up off the floor and watch all 3 of those pennies rolls on out of the jar lol.

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Specializes in ER, ICU, L&D, OR.
When I was a student nurse one of my patients who was slung up with 2 broken arms asked me to scratch his scrotum for him because he couldn't reach.

I scratched. EWWWWWWWWW!

Always got to keep in mind those patient satisfaction surveys--haha!:chuckle

Not a chance, a scrotum scratcher I will never be,

I will give him benadryl

I will give him Dilaudid

I will give him atarax

But never never never scratch a scrotum

other than mine that is

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Specializes in Geriatrics/Oncology/Psych/College Health.

There's gotta be some kind of occupational therapist tool you could rig up for the scrotum scratcher lol. If quadraplegics can run wheelchairs with only their breath, we must have the technology... :chuckle

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Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.

A Backscratcher with paper tape (wrap the curved end to prevent 'scroccidents'). Saw a quadriplegic use a back scratcher to get rid of itching anywhere using this (he bit on the end).

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I did get a kiss from a beautifull blue eyed blonde the other night saying thank you

she was almost 2 yrs old

still made my night

Ah Tom, that is so sweet.

More than once the only thing that kept me going back day after day was the feeling of a warm, soft little hand holding mine.

I don't miss working but darn I miss the kids.

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Specializes in Hemodialysis, Home Health.
Yeah but my luck i'll pick someone up off the floor and watch all 3 of those pennies roll on out of the jar lol.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

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Specializes in LTC, CPR instructor, First aid instructor..

Tom,

I'm with you. No scrotum scratching for me either. My daughter's an occupational therapist. Maybe she could design and patent a do it yourself scrotum scratcher. That has to be embarassing.

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OH AND WHAT ABOUT ALL THE ER PTS WHO ARE IN DIRE STRAITS OVER THEIR PAIN/N/V/ETC, BUT ARE NO SOONER PLACED IN BED/STRETCHER AND ARE ASKING/DEMANDING SOME F-O-O-D! TRUST ME, IF I AM SICK ENOUGH TO BE IN AN ER F--O--O--D WOULD BE THE ABSOLUTE LAST THING I WOULD WANT!! SORRY, JUST A PET PEEVE! GREAT PLACE TO VENT, HUH?

I have had five bowel obstructions. only one small one with vomiting I COULDN'T EAT. the other were large ones and invariably I eat for pain management... and it helps! and get ileus's frequently.. though docs say don't eat.. give it a rest.. I do eat to push it through and hope it all comes out!!! lol.... and even though eventually have had to have surgery.. it helps the pain. Not all people are the same... and pain is subjective.. a 2 for me, might be a 10 for you... or vice versa.. so hope you remember this and do not tend to stereo-type ANY patient.. and even pt.'s in drug withdrawal have pain and spasms and n/v.

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These stories are outrageous! OMG! I can't believe people actually act like this! I wonder how they would feel if they had to walk *one* day in the shoes of a nurse! I suppose I should get ready for odd stories like these coming my way....Oh joyous times! :rotfl: :chuckle

~Jewels: Nurse To Be

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