I either need day shift or to be single. Vent

Nurses General Nursing

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Seriously, my fiance has no common sense at all. He is either extremely inconsiderate or a complete and utter moron. I am going into my second week of working overnights and I can not sleep if he is home. Should I have to tell you not to vacuum while I am trying to sleep? Should I have to tell you not to come in the bedroom and put away your laundry while I am trying to sleep? Do we really need to have a converstaion about not using the darn treadmill with music blaring in the room right next to where I am trying to sleep?

And I get this stupid look from him, that when exhausted, makes me want to harm him. I swear if he does not get a clue and start being a little more considerate,this is not going to work. He is a very heavy sleeper and can sleep through anything. I AM NOT!!!!! He doesn't get it. He does not think before doing these things.

I just don't know how to make this work. He is normally a smart guy. I think I am going to have to treadmill and vacuum tonight! I am tired and crabby and this is not a good combination.

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Specializes in ICU, Cardiac.

I've worked nights for 5 years now. At first I had problems with my teenagers waking me up. It took a little time and training to get them to be quiet when I was sleeping. They quickly learned though that if they did wake me up they didn't like cranky/exhausted mom and countless lectures.

People that don't work nights just don't get it. I've wanted to mow directly under my neighbors bedroom window at 0230 but have held myself back.

I guess I would try sitting down and talking to him. Also, maybe ambient noise like a fan to drown out some sound. If all else fails I would definitely make a significant amount of noise while he is sleeping to get your point across.

I understand your frustration and hope things get better!

:)

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First of all... he's vacuuming and doing laundry? Amazing. Second, let me tell you how frustrating it will be for HIM that now that you're working night shift, his life will have to stop while you're sleeping.

Maybe you can come up with a list of activities he CAN do while you're sleeping. Dusting, cleaning the bathroom, ironing, food shopping. And now you'll have to pick up the vacuuming and laundry.

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During the week he is at work while I am sleeping, so this is only going to be a weekend problem thankfully.

lol,Vespertinas you are correct, it is nice of him to do the laundry and vaccuming. I tend to forget that when awoken from my peaceful slumber.

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Specializes in Trauma, ER, ICU, CCU, PACU, GI, Cardiology, OR.

certainly, this is called compromising, just keep in mind that this to shall pass. therefore, look to the future when the two of you will be able to share dinner every night :hug: wishing you and your partner the very best...aloha~

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Specializes in MDS/ UR.

Not being a smart butt and unless I have missed it in reading, have you actually discussed it with him what is going on?

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Specializes in ICU.

You said it's only been 2 weeks right? I am sure it is hard for him to switch off his routines too. he probably doesn't get it. But he IS vacuuming and doing laundry!

Talk to him, discuss it, because it is an adjustment to him too. He really probably doesn't understand.

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Specializes in Critical Care, Clinical Documentation Specialist.

What about using earplugs when you sleep? I find they definitely help with outside noise. And if you worry about missing your alarm, you can 1. have your fiance wake you (nicely of course), or 2. get an alarm clock that vibrates you awake...they even have one you wear on your wrist.

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Seriously, my fiance has no common sense at all. He is either extremely inconsiderate or a complete and utter moron. I am going into my second week of working overnights and I can not sleep if he is home. Should I have to tell you not to vacuum while I am trying to sleep? Should I have to tell you not to come in the bedroom and put away your laundry while I am trying to sleep? Do we really need to have a converstaion about not using the darn treadmill with music blaring in the room right next to where I am trying to sleep?

My mom has been working nights for about 15 years (not as a nurse as a factory worker), and as kids we were loud but as we got older we learned to do things silently so she could sleep. I don;t understand whats wrong with your fiances;s common sense but, maybe you could ask him to try staying awake all night and then going to sleep at the same time you come home JUST ONCE. So he knows what it feels like to come home at 8 am totally sleep deprived.

And seriously even as a teenager I knew not to bang dishes and vacuum when someone was sleeping after doing a night shift... its already annoying enough for them when your neighbor starts mowing his lawn at 9 am. I'm sure I'll get a taste of this as I just started a job with 12 hr rotating day night shifts.

Good luck!

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Specializes in Med Surg - Renal.

DTMFA

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Specializes in OB-Gyn/Primary Care/Ambulatory Leadership.

I remember how hard it was for my family for them to basically put their weekends on hold and not be able to do anything when I was working nights. Sucked for them. Sounds like you need to have a conversation.

And as far as the neighbors - it's not exactly their fault. They can't exactly put their lives on hold because you work nights. Lawns still gotta be mowed. Invest in a good pair of foam earplugs, some black plastic hefty bags that you can put over your windows, turn off the ringer on your phone, and put a sign on your front door so nobody knocks or rings.

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Specializes in ortho, hospice volunteer, psych,.

i had a different (weird) problem with my fiance, now husband, when i worked nights that was equally annoying.

he'd sneak around, tiptoeing all the way... so i could sleep and he wouldn't bother me. sounds considerate, doesn't it?

the little squeaks and tiptoes were just plain maddening! i appreciated his intent, but the end result was intolerable. once he went

back to his usual noises and i quit being so annoyed and frustrated, i was fine. the earplugs are a good idea.

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