Gay labeling, is it just plain mean? Or sexual harrassment?

[CaLLaCoDe]

recently i was approaching another nurse (who happens to be effeminate and thought to be gay, but who cares really?) to give report and when beginning report was dumbfounded when a nurse in the hallway said to another nurse: "ooo! a gay nurse giving report to another gay nurse!" now, i felt hurt. i am not your typical bakersfield area macho dude, but what gives her the right to put me into any box. i am affraid to bring this to management or possibly write her up for sexual harrassment. i told my wife that i am even fearful of having conversations with men that appear flamboyantly gay for being categorized; not that i am scared of turning gay. sometimes i feel that it might be easier in the field to be gay and kind than to be heterosexual and kind. i just hate this crap. really quite irritating to have your coworker who you think is a smart nurse make such a cruel judgement call on her coworker. anyway, your thoughts on this topic...

[SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN]

When i get home its guy stuff, beer, sports, cursing, burps and farts.

How is that guy stuff?

[rizza]

recently i was approaching another nurse (who happens to be effeminate and thought to be gay, but who cares really?) to give report and when beginning report was dumbfounded when a nurse in the hallway said to another nurse: "ooo! a gay nurse giving report to another gay nurse!" now, i felt hurt. i am not your typical bakersfield area macho dude, but what gives her the right to put me into any box. i am affraid to bring this to management or possibly write her up for sexual harrassment. i told my wife that i am even fearful of having conversations with men that appear flamboyantly gay for being categorized; not that i am scared of turning gay. sometimes i feel that it might be easier in the field to be gay and kind than to be heterosexual and kind. i just hate this crap. really quite irritating to have your coworker who you think is a smart nurse make such a cruel judgement call on her coworker. anyway, your thoughts on this topic...

its slander and defamation of character i would definately say something. if the nurse doing the talking means anything to you maybe i would take it up with them otherwise i would go straight to management because its very inappropriate.

[nursemike, ASN, RN]

How is that guy stuff?

I believe it's common knowledge that ladies don't do these things.

Just kidding, of course. One of my old girlfriends cured me of using the term "ladies" years ago. In fact, many of the women I work with do drink beer, watch sports, curse, burp, and fart, or some combination thereof. Usually not all at once, though.

I do think it's a reasonable generalization that many of us guys take rather more pride in this behavior than most gals do.

[FireStarterRN, BSN, RN]

recently i was approaching another nurse (who happens to be effeminate and thought to be gay, but who cares really?) to give report and when beginning report was dumbfounded when a nurse in the hallway said to another nurse: "ooo! a gay nurse giving report to another gay nurse!" now, i felt hurt. i am not your typical bakersfield area macho dude, but what gives her the right to put me into any box. i am affraid to bring this to management or possibly write her up for sexual harrassment. i told my wife that i am even fearful of having conversations with men that appear flamboyantly gay for being categorized; not that i am scared of turning gay. sometimes i feel that it might be easier in the field to be gay and kind than to be heterosexual and kind. i just hate this crap. really quite irritating to have your coworker who you think is a smart nurse make such a cruel judgement call on her coworker. anyway, your thoughts on this topic...

that is totally unacceptable!:angryfire:angryfire for one thing, not one male nurse i work with is gay, so the stereotype is totally untrue. secondly, if they were gay, that's not something open to public comment at work! :angryfire grrrrrrrr:angryfire

perhaps you should suggest to management that a cultural sensitivity inservice would be in order. the entire staff should be educated on the need to keep their personal opinions and prejudices out of the workplace!

[SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN]

I do think it's a reasonable generalization that many of us guys take rather more pride in this behavior than most gals do.

With this, I agree. None of my female friends has ever gained peer approval by burping the alphabet or lighting her flatulence.

[abhsman]

if you feel as if you are being harrassed report it.

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

With this, I agree. None of my female friends has ever gained peer approval by burping the alphabet or lighting her flatulence.

Obviously you haven't worked the night shift on Canada Day in Maine.:balloons:

[Roy Fokker, BSN, RN]

I agree with Tweety, that the best solution is to be secure in oneself, whatever one's orientation, and not let the opinions of small-minded people affect one's self-image.

I've said it before and I'll say it again (typos and all):

It takes a special kind of person to be unbiversally accepting of others.

To love and care for another human being just because they are human beings.

To seek out and help those in desperate need.

To heal wounds - both mind and body - caused by self or others.

To be responsible for the life and well being of another.

To be truly blind to all matters of caste, creed, colour, wealth or race when dealing with another.

To know deep within your heart that what you do everyday makes a positive impact on the lives of many, often total strangers.

To spend life in the service of humankind (and occassionaly, the animal kind too!)

All these and more are the reasons I choose to do what I do. To me, this has nothing to do with "feminine" or "masculine" or "macho". These are but mere words and they pale in significance in light of our chosen work.

I'm happy with what I do and if people want to judge me because of this - then frankly it's their loss, not mine.

Prejudice is stupid.

I can't describe it in any other way.

Without being abusive, one should make it perfectly clear that such remarks are improper and will be dealt with promptly if repeated.

Reminds me of the oft heard refrain "That's so gay!" That expression ticks me off, really. I've always called folks out on that term - even when I'm up against the current

With this, I agree. None of my female friends has ever gained peer approval by burping the alphabet or lighting her flatulence.

*grunt*

*scratches belly. Looks down and peers at navel lint*

*Takes a swill of beer*

cheers,

[CaLLaCoDe, BSN, RN]

Scarey and ironically the gal that stated, "oooooh, a gay nurse givning report to another gay nurse!!" uses the term,"That's so gay!" to describe an imperfect action or an idiotic thought pattern...I also asked her for clarification on this! And maybe by this questioning of her logic she came to the conclusion that I was gay. Oh well, "consider the source" as my wife always states is the best thing that I can do.

Thank you, Roy...I needed grounding for why I really am in this field of nursing!

[leslie :-D]

i suppose it could be perceived as a form of sexual harrassment.

to me, it was just plain ignorant.

i guess i am not as horrified in someone thinking i am gay.

no more than someone calling me something equally as inaccurate.

i'm very close friends with a gay (female) nurse at work.

one time, another nurse asked me where my "lover" was.

i immediately requested her presence in private, and quietly told her that i was not gay, but even if i was, her comment was ignorant and unprofessional.

and that i better not hear another inappropriate comment from her.

i hope you don't change your (desirable) qualities for fear of being labeled.

and i hope you find peace.

leslie

[JOLLIEHOLLY, RN]

Cruel? No, unless you think being thought gay is "bad." But also not funny. Quite stupid and insensitive.

And so what if thinks being gay is "bad". Everyone is entitled to their own belief and morale system. Would that make him less of a person if he did not agree with the homosexual lifestyle, or on the contrary a better person if he does agree with it? I can't stand people who shut out people who are just old fashioned and conservative. Just because a person doesn't agree with homosexuality, it doesn't mean that person isn't cordial to those who choose that lifestyle. Open your mind.

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

And so what if thinks being gay is "bad". Everyone is entitled to their own belief and morale system. Would that make him less of a person if he did not agree with the homosexual lifestyle, or on the contrary a better person if he does agree with it? I can't stand people who shut out people who are just old fashioned and conservative. Just because a person doesn't agree with homosexuality, it doesn't mean that person isn't cordial to those who choose that lifestyle. Open your mind.

I'm very well aware that there's a lot, and I mean a lot of people that don't agree with homosexuality. You're probably getting some PMs that support that view. My mind is open to that fact. My mind is also open that most are quite decent people otherwise and I'm cordial to them in real life.

However, "OOO! A gay nurse giving report to another gay nurse!" is not being cordial to someone who choosing that lifestyle. At best it's rude and insensitive, and worst it's homophobic. Saying it to someone that isn't gay is both rude to that straight person and the gay person. Some people who disapprove of the lifestyle don't like it flaunted, but yet here are two people, whom may not be gay, minding their own business giving report and this person comes along.

If you think that is being cordial, I'm disappointed and will disagree. This person does not fit the discription you describe............in my opinion of course. I cordially will respect your right to your opinion as well.