Gay labeling, is it just plain mean? Or sexual harrassment?

[CaLLaCoDe]

recently i was approaching another nurse (who happens to be effeminate and thought to be gay, but who cares really?) to give report and when beginning report was dumbfounded when a nurse in the hallway said to another nurse: "ooo! a gay nurse giving report to another gay nurse!" now, i felt hurt. i am not your typical bakersfield area macho dude, but what gives her the right to put me into any box. i am affraid to bring this to management or possibly write her up for sexual harrassment. i told my wife that i am even fearful of having conversations with men that appear flamboyantly gay for being categorized; not that i am scared of turning gay. sometimes i feel that it might be easier in the field to be gay and kind than to be heterosexual and kind. i just hate this crap. really quite irritating to have your coworker who you think is a smart nurse make such a cruel judgement call on her coworker. anyway, your thoughts on this topic...

[ILOVELIFE]

Absolutely inappropriate, HOWEVER, as Buddha once said "If someone offers you a gift and you refuse to accept it, who then does the gift belong to?".

Her issue, her problem...consider the source.

[trrinatl]

Our corporate office is in Texas, and most of our hospitals are in California, Trust me, Texas may be southern, but they are MILES ahead of the Bible thumpers in Ga.

[funnypharm]

Very inappropriate for work and creates a hostile work environment for you. You should write that up and let her supervisor talk to her. Maybe she should be forced to watch a 1980's video (refering to the old vhs tapes in hr) on ethical behavior in the workplace. That would be good punishment. :chuckle

[Thunderwolf, MSN, RN]

Maybe I have a distinct advantage of working in a corporate facility. I live in Ga but corporate has a very Texas/California mindset. We actually have sexual indentiy written into our discrimination policy. So basically, it's Okay to be GAY here. I would have been shocked by the nurses remark and immediately would have taken steps to correct the problem. I have no problem calling the charge nurse or the nursing supervisor. Trust me, If i had made a racial or ethnic remark, my butt would have been packing, so I view it the same way.

I'm gay and completely out at work. It's funny, even the straight guys at work joke around and we have fun. They often joke about me having my "work wives" and want to know how I have all the women eating out of the palm of my hand when they can't get a date with any of ladies. I can joke and tease with the best and as long as it's good fun and no one gets hurt, it's a great way to pass the time on the shift, but when it becomes derogatory, all bets are off and it's a new ball game. I'm lucky in that the "straight males" are the first to come to my defense in those situations and frequently are the first ones to stand up for me.

Just like the Texas motto, "Everything is bigger in Texas".....the gay population is also quite large in Texas, especially in the big cities. Hope that clarifies things for some members.

Excellent post.

[Thunderwolf, MSN, RN]

To help clarify a few additional things, effeminate vs uberbutch/alpha male mannerisms are common on BOTH sides of the fence...gay or straight. So, keeping that in mind, that extremely masculine male nurse you work with may live a very gay lifestyle after he punches out on the time clock, going home to his partner....just like that extremely effeminate male nurse you work with may live a very straight lifestyle after he punches out, going home to his wife and kids.

Don't make the mistake to label a man's sexuality based solely on his manner. If you do, not surprisingly, you may find yourself ending up very wrong...if not totally embarrassed.

[dialysisguy]

neeja, my experience in southern california most male nurses i work with are married and have children. i work with a lot a asian guys with nice families.

dg

:typing

[2bNurseNickStat]

It really is disappointing that we are discussing this on a nursing website. Isn't part of our training to be nonjudgmental? I feel that if I can be nonjudgmental to heroin addict that wants his/her dilaudid and phenergan at the same time every four hours (with or without an existing medical condition) than I certainly could care less what my coworkers do in their personal lives. I question my coworkers ability to be a good nurse, to assess and appropriately implement, nothing more.

I am openly gay (meaning if you ask, I'll tell) at work and anywhere else and have been fortunate enough to never run into any problems. I am the only openly gay male employee on my unit and work with many men that are happily married with children, etc. I feel that the time to judge the people we work with is the time that they put their patient's in danger.

Can't we all just get along?