Funny things patients say

NursesRmofun, ASN, RN · Aug 30, 2015

I brought in my post-op heart pts Lipitor the other day, and was going through the name/side effects etc, when he interrupts and says "Lipitor? That thing should be called Gigantor!"
Cheers

Why not?...I guess. LOL

enuf_already · Aug 30, 2015

The old biddies are obsessed with the (insert rhyming word for boobs that starts with a t)

Tubes? Rhyming word for boobs with a t?

I still can't figure out what you mean. I know a word that starts with t but doesn't rhyme with the word boobs.

Duh, just figured out you meant rhymes with biddies. Holy cow I'm dense. I shouldn't even post this and reveal my stupidity but I can't stop laughing at myself.

AJJKRN · Aug 30, 2015

I was changing an attend on a very confused LOL during a shift and the TV in her room was on. She stopped me and whispered in my ear while pointing at the TV, "Don't let them see my kitty dear!". I promised to keep her "kitty" covered! :cat:

OrganizedChaos, LVN · Aug 30, 2015

Tubes? Rhyming word for boobs with a t?
I still can't figure out what you mean. I know a word that starts with t but doesn't rhyme with the word boobs.
Duh, just figured out you meant rhymes with biddies. Holy cow I'm dense. I shouldn't even post this and reveal my stupidity but I can't stop laughing at myself.

Thank you for helping me. I thought I was the only one who couldn't figure it out.

SapphireJulzRN · Aug 30, 2015

Years ago when I worked at a care center, there was a lil ol lady that had a chair alarm in her wheelchair. Every time she tried to stand up, the alarm would go off, "Beep beep beep..."

After about the 3rd time the alarm beeped, she loudly exclaimed, "Well if somebody would just feed those damn birds, maybe they'd shut the hell up!" :)

Twinmom06, ASN, APN · Aug 30, 2015

Tubes? Rhyming word for boobs with a t?
I still can't figure out what you mean. I know a word that starts with t but doesn't rhyme with the word boobs.
Duh, just figured out you meant rhymes with biddies. Holy cow I'm dense. I shouldn't even post this and reveal my stupidity but I can't stop laughing at myself.

I'm just as dense...thank you for explaining!

Purple_roses · Aug 30, 2015

Tubes? Rhyming word for boobs with a t?
I still can't figure out what you mean. I know a word that starts with t but doesn't rhyme with the word boobs.
Duh, just figured out you meant rhymes with biddies. Holy cow I'm dense. I shouldn't even post this and reveal my stupidity but I can't stop laughing at myself.

This is hilarious! You mapped out your entire thought process.

Jensmom7, BSN, RN · Aug 30, 2015

Thank you for helping me. I thought I was the only one who couldn't figure it out.

Nope, I thought the same thing lol.

Farawyn · Aug 30, 2015

Tubes? Rhyming word for boobs with a t?
I still can't figure out what you mean. I know a word that starts with t but doesn't rhyme with the word boobs.
Duh, just figured out you meant rhymes with biddies. Holy cow I'm dense. I shouldn't even post this and reveal my stupidity but I can't stop laughing at myself.

Bless Your Heart

brittnurse · Aug 31, 2015

Just yesterday I was asking my patient if he wanted to get up to the chair and then he said "only if I can touch your boobs" lol I didn't know how to reply back to that.

middleagednurse · Aug 31, 2015

Patient: " I am ready for my vibrator"

Me: "Excuse me?"

Patient: "I am ready for respiratory therapy to vibrate my lungs"

Purple_roses · Aug 31, 2015

A few months ago I had a septuagenarian send her spouse of 50+ years out in the hall while she disrobed and was placed on telemetry. "He's never seen me naked." Welp, okay.
They have seven children.
I guess he "felt" his way?

That is SO SO SAD. There are a limited number of perks that come with adulthood, and being naked is somewhere at the top of the list.

Beer is another one, in case you were wondering.