Frustrating Nurse Family Members

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by adventure_rn adventure_rn, BSN Member Nurse

Specializes in NICU, PICU.

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Tegridy

Tegridy

Specializes in Former NP now Internal medicine PGY-3. 491 Posts

1 hour ago, Waiting for Retirement said:

This thread reminds me of a patient who had a family member who visited daily, she wasn't normally in this person's life but as she had traveled to see him she was now visiting him on his unexpected hospital stay. She made sure we all knew she was a DOCTOR, she asked to be called Dr. Smith, and that she wanted to be kept abreast of all medical decisions and changes. Never mind that the patient in the bed was A+Ox3 and had adult cognitive capacity . It turned out that she had a doctorate (PhD) in (I think?) English, English Lit, something like that. She was fun. Really. ?

Pretty much all examples here including this I think we can make the safe assumption all of these tools don’t really care about the patient they just want to feel as if they have some sort of control.

mental illness mate

On 2/26/2020 at 11:34 AM, Tegridy said:

Pretty much all examples here including this I think we can make the safe assumption all of these tools don’t really care about the patient they just want to feel as if they have some sort of control.

Mental illness mate

Well, might not be mental illness, but I'd definitely agree with self-confidence issues and feelings of inferiority /self-worth being in question. Guess I should stop the Web Shrink thinking before I get myself in trouble LOL!

TriciaJ, RN

Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory. Has 41 years experience. 4,295 Posts

7 hours ago, caliotter3 said:

Reminds me of the nursing home nursing assistant family member who along with her constant criticism of every ‘incompetent’ nurse who took care of her child, announced she was installing cameras in the home so she could catch said incompetent nurses and have evidence for her lawsuit(s). That did it for me. I got out of there.

Makes me wonder what kind of aide she was, what kind of place she worked in and if they'd installed cameras. Now it's her turn to feel powerful.

sevensonnets

sevensonnets

975 Posts

I dealt with a patient's wife years ago who claimed to be a cardiologist, even named the group practice she was with. Kept us on our toes until the patient himself outed her. Turns out she was a secretary for her husband's plumbing business.

speedynurse

speedynurse, ADN, BSN, RN, EMT-P

Specializes in ER, Pre-Op, PACU. 544 Posts

Yes. I feel like it’s either one way or the other. I have had family members that won’t even tell me that they are a nurse. On the other hand, I have had family members that are incredibly frustrating. I will never forget the one day that I was starting an IV line on a patient and a family member of another patient literally came into the room to want to know why they weren’t updated recently! (Big confidentiality issue....)She said she was a nurse but you never know....

I really try to be empathetic because I am sure if some of these family members are really in the healthcare field that they feel frustrated that they can’t do more for their family. I have found a lot of these situations can be taken care of by spending just a little extra time and making sure the patients and families know their concerns are being heard and taken seriously. On the other hand, it is difficult when many times the nurses are in a completely different speciality (e.g. not ER nursing) or actually are not nurses at all and don’t understand the concept of a fast paced, high acuity, short staffed ER.

Horseshoe

Horseshoe, BSN, RN

5,879 Posts

People can often tell by my questions that I'm some kind of healthcare professional. I usually say "I don't know much at all about your specialty-what makes me a little different is that because I'm a nurse, I can usually understand everything you tell me. So you don't have to try as hard to educate me, but I do need education." That is my sincere take and it usually gets good resultes.

0.5GPA

0.5GPA, ADN, CNA

Specializes in New Grad 2020. 96 Posts

6 hours ago, sevensonnets said:

I dealt with a patient's wife years ago who claimed to be a cardiologist, even named the group practice she was with. Kept us on our toes until the patient himself outed her. Turns out she was a secretary for her husband's plumbing business.

Well she was kind of honest. Cardiologists do deal with pipes. ?

mmc51264, ADN, BSN, MSN, RN

Specializes in orthopedic; Informatics, diabetes. Has 10 years experience. 3,131 Posts

I have found that when caring for patients that are in the medical field, the best ones have been doctors (medical). The further they get from that, the worse they are.

I think the worst patients I have had were either EVS or a CNA.

Many times, the ones that are the worst are the ones that know just enough to be dangerous. ?

Here.I.Stand, BSN, RN

Specializes in SICU, trauma, neuro. Has 16 years experience. 5,047 Posts

On 2/25/2020 at 11:12 PM, juniper222 said:

So what does one do when the guests of a patient are interfering in the care of the patient? At what point do we tell them they need to go? It seems to me if they are your patient you should have some recourse.

If they don’t immediately stop interfering with care, I have security escort them out.

caliotter3

38,333 Posts

20 hours ago, TriciaJ said:

Makes me wonder what kind of aide she was, what kind of place she worked in and if they'd installed cameras. Now it's her turn to feel powerful.

I find it interesting that every instance I can remember of caring for a family member of an ancillary health care worker has been an example of someone of limited abilities/credibility, lording their power of position over the licensed nurse. I am not speaking about the competent, reasonable lay people, but those health care workers who sincerely present with issues of insecurity. I know where this individual worked with a geriatric population and a preponderance of like-minded nursing staff. Based upon several anecdotal online reviews and personal reports, not a place I would seek work. Makes me wonder if her personality fit right in. BTW, she had previously voiced her plans to scam the system paying for her child’s care. According to her it was little more than advanced babysitting, yet no one could do it right except her.

BSN-to-MSN, ADN, BSN, RN

Specializes in SCRN. Has 8 years experience. 398 Posts

Couple of times I've had negative experiences.

1. "Honey, I'm a CRNA with 40 years of experience! I am not a happy camper here!" - patient's wife

2. "I am a nurse, so you don't need to explain it to me, or to my dad for that matter. I will do the explaining for him!"- patient daughter

jasmineleigh11

jasmineleigh11

8 Posts

I always find myself very frustrated when I am taking care of a patient who is a nurse or a patient that is family member of a nurse. I currently working in Family Medicine, and these patients seem to come into the clinic having already diagnosed themselves and have a treatment plan ready that they are expecting the provider to follow. They also seem to be the most non-compliant patients that I see- not wanting to complete labs, don't come to follow up appointment, don't complete scans that were ordered.