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First Time Parents Asked For A Different Nurse

Updated | Posted

Specializes in Pediatrics. Has 2 years experience.

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There is a really difficult family on our unit right now. I've been their nurse 3 times (2 in a row) on the last of the third, the parents asked to speak to the charge RN. Charge went in and basically told me later on that they asked for a different nurse because I didn't' answer the call bell fast enough. At that time I was giving meds to a different patient and had already been in their room twice before I entered the next patient's room. Another RN went in for me...

I just feel so bad about myself and my nursing ability. I've been working for 1 1/2 years and I still can't seem to get time management down. I feel like I'm always running in circles. I guess I'm not the only one bc a couple nurses told me they couldn't even eat lunch. I just am scared I never will get better at this bc I feel like a new grad still. Does this ever get better or am I just a bad nurse?

Anyway, charge told the family they will not get a new nurse for the day. But I was there the next day and they changed my entire assignment...

I've never had this happen to me and I feel so stupid. I feel like I'm always trying my best just to be told I'm not doing enough. I'm super burnout and I don't know where to take my career. 

They sound like jerks. Let it go. This is not a reflection on your capabilities as a nurse. 

Davey Do

Specializes in around 25 years psych, 15years medical. Has 42 years experience.

Once we allow others to dictate our worth, we will forever be on a futile endeavor to please all of the people all of the time.

Once we realize that true happiness comes from being at peace with who we are, situations such as this are merely bumps in the road of life, pinkdoves.

55 minutes ago, pinkdoves said:

There is a really difficult family on our unit right now. I've been their nurse 3 times (2 in a row) on the last of the third, the parents asked to speak to the charge RN. ...

[...]

You're not likely the first nurse that they've "fired,"  and I doubt you'll be the last. 

As Wuzzie mentioned, some families are difficult to work with.  Sometimes thus is because they're jerks, and sometimes it's a reaction to the stress of having a sick child.  Either way, please don't stress yourself out over this.

Best wishes.

ETA: Technologicaly challenged question.  How do you insert the blue @username links? 

Edited by chare

Jedrnurse, BSN, RN

Specializes in school nurse. Has 29 years experience.

In response to your emotional turmoil to this occurrence:

Don't waste the energy.

When you've been "fired" by one of these kind of families, it's a gift. Enjoy not being in their unrealistic and entitled presence.

NightNerd, MSN, RN

Specializes in CMSRN, tele, palliative, psych. Has 7 years experience.

It can smart a little to be fired by a family that you clearly were attentive to. There are some people who can't be pleased no matter what you do, and that's not a reflection on you as a nurse.

It may not feel like it right away, but it is probably a blessing to be fired from this patient. Breathe easy and enjoy the (hopefully) nicer shift!

Emergent, RN

Specializes in ER. Has 28 years experience.

Good riddance to bad rubbish 

RNNPICU, BSN, RN

Specializes in PICU. Has 13 years experience.

Honestly while it does make you feel bad, be thankful.  Why would you want to enter a room with a family that act like that.  Some families want so much control in situations where they have little control.  Families who are similar to the one you described know that this will hurt you and want control.

You were much better off with a better assignment.  Let it g.. There will be others in the future.  Although initially it stings, some of the families are just unhappy and will take it out on you.

9 minutes ago, RNNPICU said:

Although initially it stings, some of the families are just unhappy and will take it out on you.

Also they won't think twice about going to your manager with made up things you did/did not do. It then becomes a he said/she said situation that you will most certainly come out on the losing end. They are also masters at playing the staff against each other. Not worth the trouble.

TriciaJ, RN

Specializes in Psych, Corrections, Med-Surg, Ambulatory. Has 40 years experience.

3 hours ago, pinkdoves said:

There is a really difficult family on our unit right now. I've been their nurse 3 times (2 in a row) on the last of the third, the parents asked to speak to the charge RN. Charge went in and basically told me later on that they asked for a different nurse because I didn't' answer the call bell fast enough. At that time I was giving meds to a different patient and had already been in their room twice before I entered the next patient's room. Another RN went in for me...

I just feel so bad about myself and my nursing ability. I've been working for 1 1/2 years and I still can't seem to get time management down. I feel like I'm always running in circles. I guess I'm not the only one bc a couple nurses told me they couldn't even eat lunch. I just am scared I never will get better at this bc I feel like a new grad still. Does this ever get better or am I just a bad nurse?

Anyway, charge told the family they will not get a new nurse for the day. But I was there the next day and they changed my entire assignment...

I've never had this happen to me and I feel so stupid. I feel like I'm always trying my best just to be told I'm not doing enough. I'm super burnout and I don't know where to take my career. 

Seriously?  Let's go over the evidence.  They're a pain in the *** family that have caused problems for other nurses.  They called when you were busy with someone else.  Bummer you get assigned more than one patient and real bummer you can't be 2 places at once.

And that's all it takes to make you doubt yourself and your whole career?  Did you expect everyone to shower you with appreciation?  Very unrealistic, no matter how good a nurse you are.

Being fired by a PITA family is like winning the lottery.  Let someone else bear the brunt, and you try to be extra supportive of that person.

JBMmom, MSN

Specializes in Long term care; med-surg; critical care. Has 9 years experience.

As everyone else has said, take it as the blessing that it is. There is no reflection on your competence or nursing practice here. There is confirmation that these people are trying to control an environment over which they feel no control and you were the one variable they could influence. Florence Nightingale herself would probably not make them happy. 

Jedrnurse, BSN, RN

Specializes in school nurse. Has 29 years experience.

1 minute ago, JBMmom said:

 Florence Nightingale herself would probably not make them happy. 

I imagine Florence would have kicked butt.

26 minutes ago, Jedrnurse said:

I imagine Florence would have kicked butt.

Yeah...theirs.

pinkdoves, BSN

Specializes in Pediatrics. Has 2 years experience.

4 hours ago, Jedrnurse said:

In response to your emotional turmoil to this occurrence:

Don't waste the energy.

When you've been "fired" by one of these kind of families, it's a gift. Enjoy not being in their unrealistic and entitled presence.

I tried to see it like that as well. At least I don't have to deal with them.

pinkdoves, BSN

Specializes in Pediatrics. Has 2 years experience.

1 hour ago, TriciaJ said:

Seriously?  Let's go over the evidence.  They're a pain in the *** family that have caused problems for other nurses.  They called when you were busy with someone else.  Bummer you get assigned more than one patient and real bummer you can't be 2 places at once.

And that's all it takes to make you doubt yourself and your whole career?  Did you expect everyone to shower you with appreciation?  Very unrealistic, no matter how good a nurse you are.

there's no reason to be so aggressive about it. I've questioned my nursing ability before this patient's family. I don't know how to get over trying my best just to be told there are still problems with my performance. No one wants to be in a thankless profession, Tricia. At least I don't.

1 hour ago, JBMmom said:

As everyone else has said, take it as the blessing that it is. There is no reflection on your competence or nursing practice here. There is confirmation that these people are trying to control an environment over which they feel no control and you were the one variable they could influence. Florence Nightingale herself would probably not make them happy. 

I remember I actually had a patient in nursing school that knew a pioneer in nursing (not nightingale). I will never forget that bc I thought the people in the history books were like dinosaurs LOL 

pinkdoves, BSN

Specializes in Pediatrics. Has 2 years experience.

3 hours ago, Wuzzie said:

Also they won't think twice about going to your manager with made up things you did/did not do. It then becomes a he said/she said situation that you will most certainly come out on the losing end. They are also masters at playing the staff against each other. Not worth the trouble.

that is my biggest fear! I am notorious for writing very detailed nursing notes bc this is my fear 

Daisy4RN

Specializes in Travel, Home Health, Med-Surg. Has 20 years experience.

Agree with the others that this is quite normal and you should not take it to heart. It was hard for my to be "fired" at first but didn't take too long for my response to be doing a happy dance. It is hard the first time this happens but expect many more, it happens all the time. Tricia was just trying to explain the hard cold realities to you, at times it is a very thankless profession. If this is your first encounter at that reality you are very lucky indeed. Let it go and move on to better days!

pinkdoves, BSN

Specializes in Pediatrics. Has 2 years experience.

1 minute ago, Daisy4RN said:

Agree with the others that this is quite normal and you should not take it to heart. It was hard for my to be "fired" at first but didn't take too long for my response to be doing a happy dance. It is hard the first time this happens but expect many more, it happens all the time. Tricia was just trying to explain the hard cold realities to you, at times it is a very thankless profession. If this is your first encounter at that reality you are very lucky indeed. Let it go and move on to better days!

that sucks that this is considered normal. I am very sensitive so any time anyone yells at me or something I think about it for probably way too long...like once a social worker started giving me attitude and I cried in the bathroom LOL (I'm a mess)