There is a really difficult family on our unit right now. I've been their nurse 3 times (2 in a row) on the last of the third, the parents asked to speak to the charge RN. Charge went in and basically told me later on that they asked for a different nurse because I didn't' answer the call bell fast enough. At that time I was giving meds to a different patient and had already been in their room twice before I entered the next patient's room. Another RN went in for me...
I just feel so bad about myself and my nursing ability. I've been working for 1 1/2 years and I still can't seem to get time management down. I feel like I'm always running in circles. I guess I'm not the only one bc a couple nurses told me they couldn't even eat lunch. I just am scared I never will get better at this bc I feel like a new grad still. Does this ever get better or am I just a bad nurse?
Anyway, charge told the family they will not get a new nurse for the day. But I was there the next day and they changed my entire assignment...
I've never had this happen to me and I feel so stupid. I feel like I'm always trying my best just to be told I'm not doing enough. I'm super burnout and I don't know where to take my career.
I've had many nasty messages written about me and sent to a provider (through Epic) when patients don't get exactly what they want! They don't realize that the nurse reads them first! ?
At that time I was giving meds to a different patient and had already been in their room twice before I entered the next patient's room. Another RN went in for me...
I am sure the nurse manager did not handle this complaint with maturity and wisdom.There was no justification for their complaint and if the mgr had been one third of a well prepared unit leader she would have defused the situation and let you move on to another patient.Giving the nut jobs a good heave ho.
Working in an area where there are parents is extremely difficult ,they are stressed,inexperienced and often ungrateful.The job is doable but with good support from management because NOT everything is the nurses fault.And that old jive jingle that "their perception is their reality" is really getting old.
This too shall pass but don't let her make you her scapegoat whenever she is ineffective in running the unit.Be professional,work hard,do not comment with co workers.If she puts crap like that in the eval,take her to HR,or union rep,she will badmouth you to them ,but she will remember for next that you are no fool.
I agree with the other posters to not take this personally because unfortunately no matter how attentive you are to a patient/family sometimes it is never enough because they can be toxic and manipulative or under a lot of psychological distress.
It's not a time management issue as much as a boundary issue. As a nurse I feel like it is important to be as diligent and offer the best care you are able to give but we are also human beings and not machines. Some patients in the hospitals have expectations that a nurse will run at the snap of their fingers because we are medical butlers, not medical professionals.
I hate when nurses have the expectation that they will not get any kind of break during their shift. I always force myself to eat, even if it's for 15 minutes (we only get 30 minutes anyway for 12 hr shift).
I am a newer nurse as well and do struggle with time management sometimes, and a lot of that can be do patients who will waste a lot of your time. It does help to anticipate needs (how often to give pain medication, procedures patients are going to, etc) but some patients and their families are ridiculous. They call every 15 minutes, 5 family members call asking the same thing, they want you to spend a half hour in their room answering questions you don't have the answer to.
I think if you set boundaries between you and your patients you will have a better time. It really sucks to have a patient "fire you". The worst experience I had was a patient was needy and nasty and then there was a mistake so on top of her treating me like I was incompetent I felt incompetent.
If you have strong management behind you setting boundaries won't be a problem, and if setting boundaries gets you "fired" from a patient that's their choice not yours.
I think it's the art of nursing to manage time, have boundaries, give good care, and not get totally burnt out.
Trust me when you get patients like this, they have fired plenty of other nurses before. It’s a power trip not personal. It’s happened to me and most other nurses also. Unfortunately it probably won’t be the last time this happens. You won’t be able to please everyone. Don’t let anyone steal your joy.
Your charge nurse did the right thing by changing your assignment. That family was probably not going to change and they would just burn you out with negative responses.
Don't doubt that you are a good nurse when you get an impossible patient.
I had a semi-conscious patient on a tube feeding who had constant diarrhea. The CNA and I changed him and changed him multiple times. When I finally went on a meal break his son showed up....and found his dad in a bed with diarrhea. He went off like a hostile napalm bomb, accused me of neglect, threatened to have me fired and called the State. My HN took me off the assignment and gave the patient to another nurse-who continued changing him multiple times. The State eventually investigated and found no negligence. Sometimes the family is so focused on the family member they can't quite see the real situation.
Oh, I know the feeling! When I was a new grad I tried my BEST but had such a hard time with TIME! It will get better! Nursing is one of the most difficult professions. You are not a bad nurse! Be kind to yourself ❤️
once said, "you can please some of the people some of the time" when he was told that he does not know what he is talking about at the developer conference, he said that statement. The moral story, you can not please all people all the time. knowing that does not mean you should not provide your best but knowing that keep your defenses stronger when incidents like what you mention in the topic you will remember by default
"you can some of the people some of the time."
In addition to that, keeping in mind that dealing with a child is not an easy thing to nurse and the parent means that the parent is emotionally stressed that their child is sick and not knowing what going on with the child make them sometimes say irrational things like what happened to you especially for new parents and their child sick it like they want full attentive nurse only for them.
Time management comes in practice experience will teach you after some time you will get used to that, but I tell you in not easy, but going through that kind of hardship is rewarding and satisfying.
One more thing you said in one of your replies you are very sensitive. look that does not mean a bad thing. Being sensitive, or let say, very sensitive, means you are very compassionate not only that but pure-hearted as well.
one last tip might help you
make a better version of yourself in your mind with all good traits about that character, then aim single-mindedly toward that. Like a version of yourself with way better time management, critical thinking, personality, knowledge, and other aspects making mistakes in your career is evidence that there are attempts to improve. Take every situation as an opportunity and change your aittuides toward the situation like how can I do it better, what mistake I did, etc..........
I hope that you get over burnout and be a better version of yourself.
I’m just curious: were they ringing the call bell out of a genuine need, or was precious little Timmy just screaming for a juice box? Frankly, the culture of customer service in hospitals has gone waaaaay off the rails, and nurses are now regularly expected to be maids and servants along with medical professionals. Luckily, I work inpatient psych, and when a patient is making unreasonable demands, I am able to remind them (kindly, therapeutically) that THIS IS A HOSPITAL, NOT A HOTEL, and no you cannot have a cheeseburger for breakfast and a treadmill in your room
Honestly, these parents sound like jerks. And yes, they are going through a tough time etc etc, but that does not justify acting in an untitled way and treating others like garbage. As others have said, dance a happy dance that you are rid of them- it’s not about you, and they will never be satisfied.
Also, I recommend working psych for a while- that will thicken your skin in no time ?
Specializes in Maternal Newborn and Denials Management.
I was in the same position regarding time management. It took me quite a few years to figure out a system that worked for me. I used a small padfolio notebook and wrote out the tasks for each patient including times of medications, assessments, treatments, chart checks. I figured out that my brain remembers what I am supposed to do just by writing things down. All throughout my workday I would mark off the tasks I had completed. This notebook was small enough to fit in my uniform pocket and at the end of the day the paper I wrote on went into a designated shred bin. I no longer work at the bedside but even in my current desk job if I have several major projects that need to be done I will write out a plan for my day and check off tasks.
As far as the difficult family, you could not have been in two places at once. That is why we work as a team in nursing and there was nothing else you could have done. However, if you are having a hard time dealing with what happened maybe you could speak with your manager and get their feedback on if there was a better way to handle the situation. When I had difficult families that had a lot of demands I would tell them before leaving their room that I was going to check on another patient and I would ask was there anything else they needed because it might be awhile before returning. I also would tell them that if I was not available another nurse might have to assist them. I found that gently letting them know they were not the only family I was taking care of helped with the endless demands.
2BS Nurse, BSN
703 Posts
I've had many nasty messages written about me and sent to a provider (through Epic) when patients don't get exactly what they want! They don't realize that the nurse reads them first! ?