There is a really difficult family on our unit right now. I've been their nurse 3 times (2 in a row) on the last of the third, the parents asked to speak to the charge RN. Charge went in and basically told me later on that they asked for a different nurse because I didn't' answer the call bell fast enough. At that time I was giving meds to a different patient and had already been in their room twice before I entered the next patient's room. Another RN went in for me...
I just feel so bad about myself and my nursing ability. I've been working for 1 1/2 years and I still can't seem to get time management down. I feel like I'm always running in circles. I guess I'm not the only one bc a couple nurses told me they couldn't even eat lunch. I just am scared I never will get better at this bc I feel like a new grad still. Does this ever get better or am I just a bad nurse?
Anyway, charge told the family they will not get a new nurse for the day. But I was there the next day and they changed my entire assignment...
I've never had this happen to me and I feel so stupid. I feel like I'm always trying my best just to be told I'm not doing enough. I'm super burnout and I don't know where to take my career.
At that time I was giving meds to a different patient and had already been in their room twice before I entered the next patient's room. Another RN went in for me...
I just feel so bad about myself and my nursing ability. I've been working for 1 1/2 years and I still can't seem to get time management down.
I think logic can help you here. I see this as black and white so I tend to write in a straightforward manner, not meant to be harsh.
You had been attending to that patient/family appropriately. At some point you do also need to attend to other patients. You know this and more importantly THEY do also know this. If they have had your attention and then simply want to make trouble because you need to attend to other patients, that is solely on them. They have problems, and those particular problems are not yours.
So...you put these things together, come to a logical conclusion about them and about yourself, and you let it go.
23 hours ago, pinkdoves said:
I feel like I'm always running in circles. I guess I'm not the only one bc a couple nurses told me they couldn't even eat lunch. I just am scared I never will get better at this bc I feel like a new grad still.
Well, probably some of what you are calling "running in circles" is simply multitasking combined with the internal anxiety you are expressing. Are you really running in circles? Are you constantly going into rooms to pass meds and forgetting to bring the meds? That kind of thing? Or are you just having to multitask and not liking how that feels?
I will also say that some multitasking is legitimate (e.g. being able to take a phone call then immediately return to your previous task) but some is just a clever business euphemism for what happens when there is inappropriate staffing--everybody runs around like a chicken with their head cut off while being pressured to do everything perfectly when it literally cannot be done.
23 hours ago, pinkdoves said:
I just am scared I never will get better at this bc I feel like a new grad still. Does this ever get better or am I just a bad nurse?
Generally organization gets better with experience and additional knowledge of how things roll. Genuine multitasking can get better too. Other than that, the main thing that can and MUST get better is the nurse's ability to see things in proper context.
I don't think anyone here wants to make you feel even worse, but it is true that for your own health and well-being you MUST find a way to catalog these experiences that cannot involve all the self-deprecation.
One of the reasons I am so disgusted with healthcare and nursing is because we have been willing to label thousands of individual nurses as being burned out and having serious problems with "self care." There are a few good bits of wisdom in all of it but the rest is straight up gaslighting. Recognize it and reject it. Speak to a counselor to work through your feelings of self worth and to put things in proper perspective. You need empowerment from within.
Very wise words. What really bothers me is when the nurse is feeling overwhelmed by nursing, she is encouraged to "see your provider", who is never going to have time for anything but handing out a psychotropic medication.
You have people who never had serious anxiety problems before getting into the profession, do all of a sudden need medication to make it through life. There is nothing wrong with them, it is the healthcare industry that has done that to them. There is something wrong with the healthcare industry that chews people up like this
Very wise words. What really bothers me is when the nurse is feeling overwhelmed by nursing, she is encouraged to "see your provider", who is never going to have time for anything but handing out a psychotropic medication.
You have people who never had serious anxiety problems before getting into the profession, do all of a sudden need medication to make it through life. There is nothing wrong with them, it is the healthcare industry that has done that to them. There is something wrong with the healthcare industry that chews people up like this
I agree with this bolded statement. But some people really DO need to see a therapist or life coach to determine if they are able to continue. (in health care). Meds are not the only solution. (and may be no solution at all). It's just sad so many good people are left feeling so badly about themselves when it's clearly not their fault.
OP: I worked mother/baby before and had a couple families fire me. For stupid reasons like yours. The charge nurse did the right thing changing assignments for you. Such difficult people should be "shared" among staff so no one nurse is burnt out on them. Whatever happens, I never let them "staff split". Meaning, if I were assigned to a family who fired another nurse, I would hear no negative remarks about that nurse myself. They LOVE to play us against each other in some cases. I don't play.
OP let it go. You did all you can. It was a blessing to be relieved of this family; believe me.
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
If someone, for whatever reason, causes us discomfort and we get feedback from others that the discomforting individual is "bad", then we feel relief. It's not "us" who are bad, it's "them".
Once we label the discomforting individual as bad, we can pigeonhole them and go about our business, renewed in the consensual agreement that we are, indeed, good.
A problem with this tact is that we maintain our parochial perspective, do not broaden our horizons, or elevate our consciousness. However, if we do not label the discomforting individual as being bad, we can open ourselves to other possibilities for their actions.
All emotional catalysts stem from love or fear. A parent acts in behalf of their child out of love and will shelter their child out of fear.
A consensus has deem these parents to be bad, they're jerks, and it's best to not have to deal with them, so that we may all go on our merrily complacent way.
Once we allow others to dictate our worth, we will forever be on a futile endeavor to please all of the people all of the time.
Once we realize that true happiness comes from being at peace with who we are, situations such as this are merely bumps in the road of life, pinkdoves.
Davey Do,
You are such a fountain of wisdom! This is so true. I just wish I could adopt it and live by it... sigh...
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
2 hours ago, beachynurse said:
Davey Do,
You are such a fountain of wisdom! This is so true. I just wish I could adopt it and live by it... sigh...
Thank you, beachynurse.
The ability to follow a path in living and acting in a certain manner begins with a desire or wish. Once we identify the goal, doors will open to us and allow us to follow our chosen path. The desire to continue upon that chosen path is all that is required.
I know this because I am a selfish jerk-faced creep by nature. I have to remember my desire every minute of every day to be a person of higher consciousness in order not to revert back to my natural selfish jerk-faced creepiness.
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
On 7/13/2021 at 4:01 PM, Davey Do said:
I am a selfish jerk-faced creep by nature. I have to remember my desire every minute of every day to be a person of higher consciousness in order not to revert back to my natural selfish jerk-faced creepiness.
On 7/13/2021 at 4:16 PM, pinkdoves said:
I love the self-awareness
"Lord, help me be... A little more like Jesus, a little less like me." -Zach Williams
Once we allow others to dictate our worth, we will forever be on a futile endeavor to please all of the people all of the time.
Once we realize that true happiness comes from being at peace with who we are, situations such as this are merely bumps in the road of life, pinkdoves.
Wise words along with what everyone said. I would add, that it could also possibly be, a way of sublimating a situation that is out of their control and because of their fearfulness, they just might reacting to being in a hospital with a loved one in a time of pandemic with news of constant loss?
The only reason I'm saying this is because they are there. Uncaring people generally don't visit except for short periods unless there's money involved from inheritance etc.
Keep your chin up either way because I'm absolutely certain it isn't you. You feel too guilty to actually be a bad nurse. I know I would like you looking after me if I ever end up in a hospital ???
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
1 hour ago, Curious1997 said:
Wise words along with what everyone said. I would add, that it could also possibly be, a way of sublimating a situation that is out of their control and because of their fearfulness, they just might reacting to being in a hospital with a loved one in a time of pandemic with news of constant loss?
...they are there. Uncaring people generally don't visit except for short periods unless there's money involved from inheritance etc.
YES!
Your entire post was great, Curious, and I bolded your words because of something my LPN instructor said to the class in 1983:
"If you can do nothing else, just be there for your patient."
Emergent, RN
4,302 Posts
@chare
You just type the "@" sign, then the username. You'll see