File this one under "things I think but won't say"...

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Ahuh. Yeah. Ugh. What do you think? ?

To a person who is probably not going to die imminently but asks "am I going to die?"

Me: Well...yes. It *is* on your schedule.

(^George Carlin)

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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).

Jacob Rockstar-RN Psych Nurse is very sensitive about his beloved mentally ill Patients being called "crazy"!

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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).

I don't know... some Patients are really caring and concerned about their Nurses.

Take, for example, one Patient who was recently was going to get an IM from me.

She asked me, "Will it hurt?"

I replied, "Well, sometimes if my arm stiffens up, but otherwise I'm fine!"

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Specializes in Med-Surg, OB, ICU, Public Health Nursing.

I am going to fire you, I am going to leave, I am going to report you:

--"Is that a threat or a promise?"

"Go to hell" (for docs and patients)

"You are bat **** crazy" (For patients and staff/Forgive me psych nurses)

"You are kidding, right?"

"REALLY???"

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"You are an adult. You can see when your pill bottle is almost empty. No, it is not my responsibilty to know when you need a refill. Call your pharmacy!"

Actually I would love to have that as my voicemail greeting. :yes:

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

Not only patients. There is a coworker I think a lot of things about I wish I could say but of course, don't.

It boils down to being a heartless, selfish, lazy person with whom no one wants to work--- and has no place in nursing, to start with.

Oh well.

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Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.

If you yell at me one. more. time. I'm going to give you some pillow therapy.

I'm sorry, but "Mama" is not going to get better. She is 94, demented as hell, and she has cancer everywhere. Please don't make us put in a feeding tube.

No, you may NOT have fifteen of your family members visit you at the same time. Your roommate just had surgery and needs her rest.

What was a screwdriver doing in your shower?

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Specializes in OR, Nursing Professional Development.
VivaLasViejas said:
What was a screwdriver doing in your shower?

People do keep the oddest things in their showers. And it's inevitable that they will fall on them. In exact alignment with a natural orifice.

What I'd like to say but won't: Run. While you still can. There's a reason that every single person working in this operating room will not allow your surgeon to touch them with a ten foot pole even if it means a slow, agonizing death.

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Specializes in critical care.

Thing I thought but didn't say:

I know your mom didn't die yesterday. Quit making ess up.

(Honest to god, there is no sarcasm in that, either.)

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Specializes in critical care.

"If you want to say you actually assess your patient every day, consider changing subtle parts of your charted assessments."

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YES! If this ain't the truth, I don't know what is!

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Specializes in Programming / Strategist for allnurses.

Things you think about but never say...

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