Fed-up: Admin will not even meet with me so I can withdrawal. A warning to others.

Published

Hey everyone,

I recently posted about an issue I am having and the great people here at AN helped me come to a decision. I am getting the heck out of nursing school. Sorry I ever invested a minute in this abusive profession. Do a search for 'Nurses, Abuse" on any search engine, here on AN, or in your school's peer reviewed library. It is utterly insane how many results there are. Patients abusing nurses, nurses abusing other nurses, managers abusing nurses, professors abusing nursing students, clinical instructors abusing students...Why did I refuse to see the writing on the wall? I guess because I though I could just find the right job and avoid it. Nope.

Anyway, I wanted to vent and to share what has happened to me so that others are empowered through all the knowledge they can gain, if they choose to research before deciding to enter nursing school.

Just how abusive is it? Here is a story. You can look at my last post to garner details about the abuse that lead me to the decision to leave the program...but here is what has happened to me since I decided to leave and TRIED to do so...

Normal process for any grievance is to contact the program director. Not an option in may case because she has lied, refuses to let me bring someone with me as a witness during meetings, refuses to speak with me via email, and previous verbal communication has come back to bite me on the buttocks. At this point, she is unwilling to allow me ANY kind of witness--be it a human or a cyber witness. And, I am so traumatized that I don't feel I can meet with her at all, in any capacity at this point.

So, I contact the Associate Dean (next in line and normal stepping stone if you cannot goto the director). I explain that I have tried to speak with the director and she will not do so in any way that I (and the schools handbook outlines as acceptable) feel comfortable with.

She denies me. Says I must meet with the director first..after I just explained that I tried to do so via email or with someone else to witness meeting.

So, I contact the Dean. Same thing.

So, I contact the Dean of Academic Affairs of the School of Nursing. She won't even return my email. Small department, statement already made to indicate that they have spoken about the matter.

All I want is to get the heck OUT. It is my first semester. My financial aid is at stake. My future is at stake. I just want to discuss the issues that have led me to this decision and find out my options as to how to best withdrawal without ramifications to my academic future (in another field).

They are so abusive that they will not even let me leave. Talk about slavery. My only saving grace is that I know people outside the nursing department and although I would rather avoid it, I can pull that weight if I have to. Most students don't have this option, so what do they do?

What will you do if it happens to you?

If you are considering attending nursing school, I highly suggest that you speak with recent prior students to discuss the REAL situation, not just GPA entry requirements or HESI exams. But the real meat of the program. If I had done so, I would have attended somewhere else and most likely, would have become a FNP. Can't say that I am going to be disappointed though. I have resigned to the fact that they are doing me a favor by reminding me about the abuse aspect of this career in my first semester rather than after years of time invested and at my first job.

Make wise choices.

This is a vent and information sharing post. I am not looking for feedback because any constructive feedback as to what I can do would require me revealing too much about the internal structure of my program and may ID me.

Once things blow over, I'll reveal more, but for now I can't.

But seriously, here I am having to study my butt off for a class that I hope to be able to withdrawal from, incase I can't. I can't even garner a meeting with someone so that I can have an exit interview, unless I expose myself to abuse by the director. This is ridiculous.

To all the kind instructors out there, who want students to succeed and who value top students, bless you.

To the abusive ones, to quote Bob Dylan, "You ain't worth the blood/That runs in your veins".

Hope this helps someone out there somewhere to make an informed choice as to if you really want to attend nursing school. I'm not saying you shouldn't, just sharing my journey so you know it could happen to you.

You can be, and many students ARE, abused in nursing school.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Just go to the registrar's office and withdraw from school. Nobody can stop you from doing this. And make certain you stop by the financial aid office on your way out the door to make necessary arrangements. Problem solved.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
Just go to the registrar's office and withdraw from school. Nobody can stop you from doing this. And make certain you stop by the financial aid office on your way out the door to make necessary arrangements. Problem solved.

Problem solved, problem solved she solved the problem, problem solved.

Yes, I am watching entirely too much Peg+Cat.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Agree with PP, just go withdraw.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in NICU, ICU, PICU, Academia.

And yet, in the entire lengthy post- there is not a single molecule documenting / describing this alleged 'abuse'. Interesting......

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I stated that if anyone wanted details regarding the abuse, then they could read my last post. It is all laid out. I am not trying to hide anything.

And, I cannot just go withdraw. Only the advisor of the department is allowed to register/add/drop/or withdraw us at this prison. Students are locked out--only nursing students though. Furthermore, if I am not withdrawn in a specific manner, I could lose fin aid forever and/or have to pay full price for this semester.

Anyway, like I said, I'm not looking for answers or advice. Just informing others that abuse like this can happen at SOME nursing schools and they should be careful.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Stop going to class and see if you don't end up withdrawn.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Nursing is not for everyone...

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in NICU, ICU, PICU, Academia.

In your other thread, ( https://allnurses.com/general-nursing-discussion/new-grad-student-981178.html )you indicate that you are already an RN, and so I don't understand the big deal about dropping out of this program. Drop out. Find another.

drama, drama, drama

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Honestly, I wouldnt care about financial aid or anything other than my emotional/mental well being. Money is money and can be paid back later. Document and drop. If you cant drop, do what others have suggested and stop going. Maybe secure another program before dropping/failing and then all of this will be history. Whatever happens, O wish you the best.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Pedi.

What is the reason for needing a "witness" to this meeting? When I had to withdraw a semester for medical reasons my sophomore year in college, I emailed the Dean's AA, said "I need to meet with the Dean", she set it up, I went in and said "I need to take a medical LOA" and filled out the paperwork. No witness needed. You will be given a copy of the paperwork you fill out/sign. The whole process took maybe 10 minutes. I don't see any abuse detailed in your post. And accusing your adviser of having narcissistic personality disorder is pretty bold. Are you a psychiatrist well versed in the DSM-V/qualified to make that diagnosis?

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Stop paying. Stop going. Problem solved. That's exactly how I stopped school the first time.

People withdraw from every program. Only in first semester and someone withdrew from mine in about week 4. I didn't see anyone chaining her to her desk...

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion