reluctantrn

Dear Daisy_Duke, Great name. Anyway, I believe that many states have a program where lawyers are provided pro-bono (Sorry if I spelled that wrong, basically they provide free service to low income or displaced workers). Try calling your local social services center to see if they have any programs in your area similar to this. If you cannot find one, try calling around to defense lawyers in your area and see if they are willing to provide pro-bono representation for you, or if they know someone who is. I don't know that much about law but I think sometimes lawyers are required to provide a certain amount of pro-bono work (like when they first start practicing? Not sure). I have a friend who used this service when her house was broken into to help with insurance reimbursement. Not sure if they help nurses but it's worth a look. Anyway, I hope this helps you find someone to assist you and I wish you luck. R

Dear rayshell626, If you look hard enough, there will always be someone willing to hire you, somewhere. So, if that is your goal, then it may be worth it to renew your license. Before you do though, if I were you (and I am in some ways, my license is active but I have not worked as a RN for 9 years) I would research long and hard--then think long and hard, about if these are any kind of job you would want. For myself, the answer has been a booming and resounding 'no'. I would rather be on welfare or anything else, than to work in the kind of environments that would hire me at this point. Unless, I was able to find a gig with a one on one at someone's home. Not 'home-health care' but a private person hiring a nurse to care for a newborn or something like that. These positions may be better because they are *emotional* positions. The 'employer' is not looking at the bottom line but rather at someone they connect with and trust to care for someone they love. And I would take that seriously, by brushing up on skills relevant to the individual I was caring for. But this is the only kind of position I would consider at this point. As the old saying goes, "I don't want to be a member of any club that will have me". That's because I know there are better candidates out there (maybe they are actually better nurses or maybe they just *look* like better nurses on paper) and I know that if anyone hires me it is because NO ONE else wants that position and there is a reason WHY. One potential solution for you is to do a bridge program and get you AS in nursing or even better, your BSN if any program like that exist (my entry point was AS, so I am not sure). This would give you the 'golden' new graduate status + experience and would make you more competitive than the average new graduate. It would also allow you to apply to programs offering residency/preceptor etc. and from the situation you have described, I think that may benefit you. Another option is to return to school for a totally different field that you can use the course work you have done so far to build upon, such as biology or teaching in the sciences at a elementary level. If you do decide to return to nursing school, research schools carefully and fully. Heed words of caution. Best of luck to you and congrats on your new baby.

Sorry and thank you for pointing out my mistake. I am awful at grammar and I am trying to re-teach myself. I appreciate all the help I can get.

Dear EmergencyRN22, Good point. Not every doctor graduates first in their class either. They do have higher entry point standards and longer education though.

Specialized programs set up by hospitals, that offer extended and intensive training periods (9-12 months on the job with classroom education) train nurses to be able to transition to PACU. At least two that I have spoken to have gone this route. I used to have to do PACU for c-section patients and that alone would have gotten me a foot in the door for PACU. The OP needs to think outside the box at this point to save their career and I was just trying to suggest some of those ideas. There are other extended/intensive training programs as well. It has been some time since I looked into them so I do not recall the details. Just trying to offer solutions. So you think that searching for a similar program to the one I suggested is not a good idea for the OP? Or, are you focused in on other factors? What options does the OP have right now, other than to seek out a program similar to an new graduate internship?

Dear brandy1017, You seem very wise and I appreciate your insight. I actually did handle the situation pretty diplomatically at first. I always (in real life, not online life) believe is starting at the least aggressive point possible and then escalating from there, if need be only. I stated that her putting me in a class I had already taken was an, and I quote, "Innocent Mistake". From there, when she denied, I stated objective facts to support my position. Verifiable, objective facts. I did so in a polite way. As is, "perhaps you forgot", NOT in a "your a liar" kind of way. Things continued to escalate. I did try, for quite some time, to be diplomatic though. I guess only part of the story, the insane part, is coming across here. I have to admit, I too think it sounds insane. It is insane. I've never had trouble dealing with others, in my career or otherwise, in such a way. It is so insane that I think it sounds unbelievable and I KNOW it feels unbelievable. Honestly, I can't believe it is happening. As for the other nursing programs, thank you for your help. This has just tainted my feeling about nursing though, I feel depressed rather than excited. Life (and school) should be a journey, not a war. I KNOW there are MANY amazing, loving, kind, capable nurses out there. But we cannot help the fact that our experiences shape our thoughts. Now, when I think of nursing, I feel depressed. I know it is best for me to leave. My first priority is to take good care of others, and I cannot do so with my attitude and feelings. I CAN do so in another field, hopefully one that I can use my nursing experience to complement. I commend all the nurses out there, you have a hard job. I am SO glad that many of you find it rewarding. I just don't personally. This does NOT mean I don't respect you--I do. Some of my dearest friends in the world will always be nurses. But we must be true to ourselves first, in order to be true to those we serve. And when I am true to myself (as I am sure you have noticed) I cannot be a nurse. I also admire your positive outlook. In that you state, "She probably wants to smooth things over and de-escalate the situation". I am certain though, that this is not the case. Some people, in every walk of life, are not well. I am in my 40's, I have dealt with difficult personalities before. I realize that my online representation of myself is seen as poor. I felt safe being honest here and the truth is, while I have dealt with difficult people on rare occasions before, I have never had one that held so much POWER over my life before. This caused me to react like an exothermal explosion and hopefully, explains the strong words and anger in my post. While many times people are crying 'wolf', this is not always the case. I have been so cautious as to have at least one person review anything I say to this department head, to ensure that I am not being unreasonable and that I am being professional. Simply because I know that when we are upset, we speak with emotions rather than reason and I am a romantic, not a realist. I have not gone to a 'yes' person to ask that they review my communication with the department head, but rather to several outsiders. Some who do not even know me personally, but friends of friends who are Deans or professors of their own departments outside of this university, to ask their opinion. With them, I have been able to divulge the situation in its entirety because they can secure confidentiality. So, my communications have been professional and diplomatic--at least, I think they have been and I tried my best for them to be. You are right, in that I should leave the program (even if the things I said earlier about how the thought of nursing school depressed me were NOT true) it is best that I leave the program. Anytime, you are early in your academic career and have less to lose, and face being targeted or labeled as a troublemaker, be it by your own fault or not, it is best to leave. First, secure your future by leaving in a professional way. Do not bash or bad mouth. Keep your statements objective and have evidence to back up your statements. Be polite, say as little as possible. Secure financial aid. Make sure your record reflects a good GPA or a withdraw without any punitive cause attached. Find a professor (or two) that will vouch for you and write a letter of need be. Cut your losses, don't look back and get out. If you feel you ARE the cause, then do not repeat the same mistakes. Be honest with yourself and do not let pride or ego get in the way or honest conversations you have with yourself. In this case, I am trying to do all of the above. I honestly do not feel that this was caused my anything that I did. If I could divulge more, you may feel the same but it I revealed the 'point of origin' it would also reveal my identity. So, all I am left with to say is that it is my belief (not fact) that this person suffers from narcissistic personality disorder. I did not realize soon enough and so through what would be considered 'normal' interaction between students and professors, she perceived a 'slight' (narcissistic injury). Due to this, she targeted me as a scapegoat and I then began to receive such treatment. It does happen. I've made a terrible argument for myself and represented myself terribly thus far on AN because I have been so upset. I realize and accept responsibility for this mistake, speaking with emotion rather than reason. What perplexes me is that I think we can all identify with being mis-treated at some point in our lives. Now, the degree of power the person who mistreats us has over our lives is an important factor. How angry do people become when their ex-wife/husband mis-treats the kids or takes the kids away in a custody dispute? How angry do we become when we lose a job, thus the ability to support ourselves, as a result of a lie or another mistake--for which we were powerless? I guess I made the mistake of thinking that others on AN could identify with being mistreated by someone that has a lot of power over you. I am NOT directing this statement toward anyone, especially Brandy1017. In fact, I appreciate brandy 1017's ability to communicate in a manner that allows me to hear what she is saying and does not put me on the defensive. When a post is made that automatically causes someone to feel the need to defend themselves, the reader cannot hear what the speaker is saying because they are so focused on protecting themselves and not being mis-understood. Brandy 1017 has done an excellent job of offering an opinion in a non-threatening manner that rather than causing the reader to feel the need to defend, allows actual insight and growth. We cannot grow when we are defending ourselves (see Maslow's hierarchy). Thank you.

Dear Red Kryptonite, Thank you for pointing out that it is illegal to record without consent. I do not want anyone to do this, for any reason, nursing or otherwise, and then find themselves in serious legal trouble. I believe it is a felony wiretapping charge, could end a very good nurses career. I won't suck it up and meet with the director though. There are policy's and regulations in place to protect me in that manner. It just takes SO much time and effort. And, I have a very heavy semester with very little time for things like this. Worst case, I finish the class and send a formal letter via registered mail and email, stating that I am withdrawing from the program for personal reasons. Request through FERPA to view my academic records, appeal if necessary, and then go back to school (for me in another area). Then, once I have secured my own personal future, I will invest time in exposing what is happening. Other resources for students, if you ever find yourself in such a situation or have a grievance that you have been unable to resolve, are: 1) Academic Affairs 2) Student Affairs 3) Ombudsman 4) Mediation department at your institution Finally, request to meet with the president, even if only for an exit interview, to let them know what happened to you. They may or may not feel it is valid. Many student complaints are not. But, if they do feel it is valid and you can support your position with as much evidence as you can muster, you may make a better situation for those who come after you. That is the whole reason I made this post in the first place. To hopefully help those who come after me. I realize that it sounds dramatic and angry. I'm OK with that because I am very upset. However, I also realize that this is not the best way to get your message across and I hope that anyone who needs help is able to read between the lines and find some help.

Dear ixchel, BSN, RN, I love your suggestion. I actually sent something similar to this already. I especially love your suggested signature...because that is exactly how I feel. How I wish we could speak the truth. Perhaps this is one of my greatest insights and weaknesses. I am awful at playing the game. I prefer to be authentic all-ways. And if I cannot be, my reaction is to say nothing. Never to lie and pretend something I do not truly feel. Thanks for the suggestion, it was the same I had already followed and not received a favorable response. But I agree, it is a good way to ask. I'm fairly sure that they are being very careful what is put 'on-record'. Which is crazy because they know that I am very unlikely to sue. If the situation were different, I would consider it, but it is what it is and for various reasons, it is an extreme and serious last resort for me. Thank you

Dear TheCommuter, You are right. I am actually in a blended program (part online/part face to face). Still, I see your wisdom and I do wish that I had found an online program. For ALL other education, I far prefer face to face and lecture that allows you to have class discussions. Nursing school is different though, and in my case it would have been better to go online. Thank you for your reply and for speaking in a professional and understanding manner.

@Momma1Rn, The only person I am not willing to meet with is the director. I have valid reasons for not doing so. If you met with your boss and they told you that you were going to receive a $10 an hour raise, so you passed up another job offer, then a month later they denied ever telling you this, would you not feel the need to get future communications in writing? Furthermore, school policy states that I have a right to use email as a means of academic advising.

Dear JadeLpn, THANK YOU SO AMAZINGLY MUCH! I appreciate your advice and will do my best to exercise it. I they will allow me to bring someone, I will and if not, then I will have it on email. I also appreciate your wisdom and I hope others follow it. This is a private school but not a for profit one. In any case, anytime you need to withdraw--for a single class or for an entire program, you need to FIRST meet with financial aid. There can be serious repercussions. Having to pay money you do not have is one. Denial of any future federal financial aid is another. Please everyone, follow this wise posters advice, if you must ever drop or withdraw from a class. Get it in writing. Yours is the first post I have read that understands this and it too is vital information to share with others. Thank you

Yessss. That golden period after graduation when you have an real and extended orientation. I wish my 1st school had helped me to understand the incredible value of that time period and that I should make my employer stick to contract and actually give me orientation. I actually only had two weeks BUT I was told I had between six and nine months. I was a L&D nurse and I had studied midwifery (direct-entry) so I knew 'normal' birth very well. I also had labor coached so I knew the fetal monitor well. So, after two weeks, when my wonderful preceptor left to go back to school, they started giving me 'normal' births. They were VERY short staffed. After a while, they forgot that they had never trained me for *abnormal* births (High tech teaching hospital, lot's of abnormal). My career suffered greatly because of that. However, you do have recent experience. Speak with the manager and see if they will let you resign rather than be listed as fired. That should help a lot for starters. Usually the only thing hospitals will reveal when asked for a reference is how long you worked there and if they would re-hire you. If you resign, hopefully you will still be considered re-hireable by HR. Then, look in your area (or whatever area you are willing to live) for an internship. I know that they have these for OR nurses, and many of them last 9-12 months and include education. You may have to look a bit, but hopefully you can find an equivalent to the preceptorship granted to a new grad. And, I hear that the post-op nursing jobs are great. The nurses I have spoken with say that it is nowhere near as stressful as other positions. You would have to start and be trained as an OR nurse (scrub most likely) but once you have that training, you can make a move to something like pre or post op if you don't like it. Just a suggestion. Hang in there, take a deep breath. I'm so sorry for your doubts and fears right now. In the end, one way or another, things will work out. Hugs

I could not agree with you more. And I see people graduating that scare me to death and, that I would never want to provide my care. The sad thing is, this is going to cause people to not want to use any NP's because it can be hard to tell the good from the bad. In fact, I will only see a NP if I personally know them or if I run to the CVS minute clinic for a quick flu test, not for their skill at real hands on diagnosis. This will further harm the respect/pay and job opportunities for NP's. It is another reason that I feel alright about my recent decision to leave nursing and pursue another career. Nurse midwives are another thing though. There are fewer programs and they demand better applicants and produce better caregivers. Have you thought about getting your post-graduate certificate in midwifery or another specialty, that is not so saturated? You sound like you enjoy being a nurse and care for your patients.

The associate dean, and the dean have refused to meet with me until I first meet with the director. The director has refused speak with me via email and has refused to allow me to being anyone with me for an in-person meeting. I do not (for a plethora of reason's) trust meeting with the director without any kind of record. I have explained this (as well as my valid reasons, she has lied about several important things--the biggest being what program I am in) to the asst. dean/dean and they still refuse to meet with me unless I meet, alone, in-person, with the director first. Hope I answered your question. I said that I *strongly believed* that she had narcissistic personality disorder, I did not state it as a fact. And no, I am not a psychologist but I play one on TV. Seriously, you don't have to be a psychologist to recognize when someone isn't right. Why all the bad vibes. I said I wasn't looking for advice and can anyone honestly say that they have not heard of and/or experienced similar issues at school or at work? Bullies? Sounds like you went to a reasonable school.

I stated that if anyone wanted details regarding the abuse, then they could read my last post. It is all laid out. I am not trying to hide anything. And, I cannot just go withdraw. Only the advisor of the department is allowed to register/add/drop/or withdraw us at this prison. Students are locked out--only nursing students though. Furthermore, if I am not withdrawn in a specific manner, I could lose fin aid forever and/or have to pay full price for this semester. Anyway, like I said, I'm not looking for answers or advice. Just informing others that abuse like this can happen at SOME nursing schools and they should be careful.