I got into a debate with a high school friend on FB (I have since hidden his posts since I can't see his politics without raising my blood pressure) about this last summer.
I posted a link to an article about a girl sent home because she was wearing a sundress with spaghetti straps. Yes, she was out of dress code, but my point was that the dress code is overly restrictive and leads to body shaming for young women.
His argument was that men are biologically hard wired to look at women's bodies.
My argument was that why are we teaching our young women that they need to cover up instead of teaching our young men not to ogle.
I lost him when I asked "At what point does the man assume responsibility? When a young woman is on the stand being asked what she was wearing and if she'd been drinking?" He didn't see the connection.
I agree there has to be a line. The problem is that it is so subjective. What is offensive to one is fine to another.
My issue is that dress codes tend to lay most (if not all) of the responsibility on young women to cover up instead of calling the men out on being unable to control their gaze.
I agree there has to be a line. The problem is that it is so subjective. What is offensive to one is fine to another.
My issue is that dress codes tend to lay most (if not all) of the responsibility on young women to cover up instead of calling the men out on being unable to control their gaze.
We do talk to the boys about this. It is being addressed in my school. There are certain cultures that view looking a girl up and down as the ultimate compliment, so that is being addressed, as well as the boys just being awkward, or trying to get an eyeful, etc.
But not by me. Guidance and SW handles that end of it. Or Admin.
Specializes in Complex pedi to LTC/SA & now a manager.
The district posted photos from a during school HS event. I have 2 year old clients that their clothing has more fabric than some of the girls wore. Lacey belly shirts with skin tight leggings.
If I can tell whether (or not) your child is wearing underwear and the color of your child's underwear they are not dressed appropriately.
What the 12/13/14 year old girls in the chorus changed into after a performance on a field trip rivaled the street walkers of the 80's and 90's. Outfits I've only seen look good on strong personality drag queens!
I was not their chaperone. If I was I'd have made them change back into their performance attire (black pants or Bermuda shorts or skirt with a full t-shirt). One even had high heeled sandals...for an amusement park!
No one should have to be subjected to looking at student's underwear
My thoughts on it are this, the students are given a dress code to follow. In my school it's nothing out of the ordinary - fingertip rule for skirts/ shorts, nothing inappropriate printed on clothing, straps on tank tops need to be 3 fingers wide or something, no visible underwear, and no flip flops.
For the most part, these are the same rules you'd have to follow at any job. I think it has less to do with the boys oogling them and more to do with rule following and teaching children decorum. As I have issues with dress code that start in the little grades.
Personally, i would jump for joy if we went to uniforms here.
I'm totally in favor of dress codes. It's not "body shaming" to teach modesty to our young women. Frankly, the slippery slope has turned into a landslide in the West. I doubt if anybody is mandating burqas, but simple modest attire.
I like the way they do it in the United Kingdom, where most schools require uniforms.
I'm totally in favor of dress codes. It's not "body shaming" to teach modesty to our young women. Frankly, the slippery slope has turned into a landslide in the West. I doubt if anybody is mandating burqas, but simple modest attire.
I like the way they do it in the United Kingdom, where most schools require uniforms.
I like how uniforms level the playing field to a point. Would definitely reduce the $ I send to a Baltimore based sports attire firm. I knew I mispelled that, thanks for jogging my memory, I didn't have time to Google it.
I got into a debate with a high school friend on FB (I have since hidden his posts since I can't see his politics without raising my blood pressure) about this last summer.
I posted a link to an article about a girl sent home because she was wearing a sundress with spaghetti straps. Yes, she was out of dress code, but my point was that the dress code is overly restrictive and leads to body shaming for young women.
His argument was that men are biologically hard wired to look at women's bodies.
My argument was that why are we teaching our young women that they need to cover up instead of teaching our young men not to ogle.
I lost him when I asked "At what point does the man assume responsibility? When a young woman is on the stand being asked what she was wearing and if she'd been drinking?" He didn't see the connection.
I do see your argument in that young men need to be taught not to ogle. Honestly, I can see some of my male teachers in my school being distracted as well by a skimpily dressed 13 year old with the body of a grown woman. A whole other issue
That being said I do not believe that spaghetti strap anything is appropriate for school. We should be teaching our children to "dress for success" from an early age. How many adults are permitted to go to work wearing a sundress? I do not believe that dress codes teach our young women body shame, it teaches them respect in an environment which should be mimicking that of a "professional" environment. No they are not yet adults, but attending school is their job. Save the pretty sundress for the party! Is this really asking too much?
I think I remember the article, or at least one that was very similar. As I recall the child was very young, so yeah, her dress was likely on the conservative side and it may have been overzealous to send the her home. Unfortunately , if you make dress codes too complicated, open to interpretation or age dependent it becomes too difficult to enforce. It needs to be black and white to be effective. Dress code at my school is universal, district wide and applies to all grades so there is no grey and no room for interpretation. No straps, shoulders must be covered and undergarments cannot be visible. I have seen too much "stuff" hanging out when a student violates dress code to think that the policy is over restrictive. The clothing that my Middle School students would wear if given the opportunity is entirely too revealing. I do not want to see it. And this has nothing to do with body shame, but modesty and personal respect for parts of your body that should only be shared with a significant other in an adult relationship.
As an aside, my child actually goes to private school and wears a uniform, so I am a bit biased. I LOVE IT and my child actually loves it! It promotes an atmosphere of respect and unity. And there is no debate in the morning about what to wear
If we are trying to teach our students to be professional, why not simply have baseline be business casual? Jeans and t-shirts are not allowed in most professional environments.
The fact that we're focusing on sun dresses and spaghetti straps bothers me because we're talking about teaching our girls to be professional. Because dress codes disproportionately affect girls. If the collective we were really interested in professionalism we would be looking at the student age body as a whole, and discussing the fact that the majority of what all students in non-uniform schools wear is not appropriate for the workplace.
Specializes in Complex pedi to LTC/SA & now a manager.
If I wanted to see their underwear Id work retail in VS or other similar stores.
Now on the other hand if you saw what thus PDN wore to a school with child: cut off short shorts (she definitely had on underwear), bright blue spaghetti strap tank top, hot pink bra, keds canvas shoes. Hope the kid didn't vomit as well she had almost nothing to protect her bare skin.
It was 85F outside
I do believe the principal called the student's parent and the PDN agency
If we are trying to teach our students to be professional, why not simply have baseline be business casual? Jeans and t-shirts are not allowed in most professional environments.
The fact that we're focusing on sun dresses and spaghetti straps bothers me because we're talking about teaching our girls to be professional. Because dress codes disproportionately affect girls. If the collective we were really interested in professionalism we would be looking at the student age body as a whole, and discussing the fact that the majority of what all students in non-uniform schools wear is not appropriate for the workplace.
Yes, yes, and yes!!
Many of the students I see are in what are no more than PJs. Not professional at all, but well within dress code.
kidzcare
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I agree there has to be a line. The problem is that it is so subjective. What is offensive to one is fine to another.
My issue is that dress codes tend to lay most (if not all) of the responsibility on young women to cover up instead of calling the men out on being unable to control their gaze.