I got into a debate with a high school friend on FB (I have since hidden his posts since I can't see his politics without raising my blood pressure) about this last summer.
I posted a link to an article about a girl sent home because she was wearing a sundress with spaghetti straps. Yes, she was out of dress code, but my point was that the dress code is overly restrictive and leads to body shaming for young women.
His argument was that men are biologically hard wired to look at women's bodies.
My argument was that why are we teaching our young women that they need to cover up instead of teaching our young men not to ogle.
I lost him when I asked "At what point does the man assume responsibility? When a young woman is on the stand being asked what she was wearing and if she'd been drinking?" He didn't see the connection.
Specializes in Complex pedi to LTC/SA & now a manager.
In high school no shorts allowed except in PE. No AC it was 85. So a bunch of boys came to school in skirts & skorts borrowed from the girls.
The best? Boys forgot to account for the height difference. Skirts must be to top of knee/no shorter than length of arm at longest finger. While they pulled it off, I thought the assistant principal was going to bust a gut laughing when he had to send/call home because the skirts were too short per dress code standards. The rest of the boys stayed skirts and all.
The next year board/Bermuda (knee length) shorts were approved
Specializes in OR, Nursing Professional Development.
In high school no shorts allowed except in PE. No AC it was 85. So a bunch of boys came to school in skirts & skorts borrowed from the girls.
The best? Boys forgot to account for the height difference. Skirts must be to top of knee/no shorter than length of arm at longest finger. While they pulled it off, I thought the assistant principal was going to bust a gut laughing when he had to send/call home because the skirts were too short per dress code standards. The rest of the boys stayed skirts and all.
The next year board/Bermuda (knee length) shorts were approved
As a woman I am annoyed at the idea that I should modify my behavior to accommodate the weakness of some man.
But how how can you not see the difference between: "men are biologically hard wired to look at women's bodies. " and women have the choice of how to dress?
This is not an exaggeration; men really are "cursed" by their biology to flare up at the sight of a woman.
I get it that progressive politics is all about what should be rather than what is but could we please take a little reality into account here and as women, shoulder the responsibility to be modest? Not wrapped in a black sack like a victim, but tastefully lovely in classic styles that emphasize beauty rather than flaunt lewdness.
Perhaps if instead of focusing so relentlessly on what separates us, we could focus on our shared goals? Don't we all want our daughters to grow up safe and sane? Let's focus on these goals.
As a woman I am annoyed at the idea that I should modify my behavior to accommodate the weakness of some man.
But how how can you not see the difference between: "men are biologically hard wired to look at women's bodies. " and women have the choice of how to dress?
This is not an exaggeration; men really are "cursed" by their biology to flare up at the sight of a woman.
I get it that progressive politics is all about what should be rather than what is but could we please take a little reality into account here and as women, shoulder the responsibility to be modest? Not wrapped in a black sack like a victim, but tastefully lovely in classic styles that emphasize beauty rather than flaunt lewdness.
Perhaps if instead of focusing so relentlessly on what separates us, we could focus on our shared goals? Don't we all want our daughters to grow up safe and sane? Let's focus on these goals.
No. These are not men and women. These are boys and girls. They are at school for Math, English, Band and Spanish. They don't need to have their boobs or their boxers hanging out for the 7 hours they are at school.
No, I'm saying that the dress codes are set up with male clothing as the norm which creates a system for girls to be targeted (unconsciously, I believe, but makes it no better) which perpetrates certain myths. Boys don't wear spaghetti straps and sundresses because they are conditioned not to by our current society. There's no right or wrong to that aspect; that's just fashion as it is today in our society. But, I would put money on the fact that if spaghetti straps were a staple in male fashion they would not be against the dress codes.
And, it was sexist to not allow boys to wear piercings that girls wear. It doesn't matter that nobody "screamed sexism" back then. We have to learn and grow as a society, right?
No, I'm saying that the dress codes are set up with male clothing as the norm which creates a system for girls to be targeted (unconsciously, I believe, but makes it no better) which perpetrates certain myths. Boys don't wear spaghetti straps and sundresses because they are conditioned not to by our current society. There's no right or wrong to that aspect; that's just fashion as it is today in our society. But, I would put money on the fact that if spaghetti straps were a staple in male fashion they would not be against the dress codes.
And, it was sexist to not allow boys to wear piercings that girls wear. It doesn't matter that nobody "screamed sexism" back then. We have to learn and grow as a society, right?
Perhaps if instead of focusing so relentlessly on what separates us, we could focus on our shared goals? Don't we all want our daughters to grow up safe and sane? Let's focus on these goals.
Yes, but I want my daughter to grow up where she doesn't have to worry about what she's wearing contributing to being "safe and sane." Where no one ever questions her worthiness or safety because of what she choose to wear.
That being said, I think sexism and school dress code are 2 different things. My issues are underwear and private parts showing.
I want to say that I'm enjoying our discussion, Far even though we're not quite on the same page! Although, I really do agree that private parts and underwear don't need to be seen. :)
I want to say that I'm enjoying our discussion, Far even though we're not quite on the same page! Although, I really do agree that private parts and underwear don't need to be seen. :)
Me too. I think we're more on the same page than we think. But if not, meh, we can disagree, no biggie.
sigh...
JustBeachyNurse, LPN
13,957 Posts
In high school no shorts allowed except in PE. No AC it was 85. So a bunch of boys came to school in skirts & skorts borrowed from the girls.
The best? Boys forgot to account for the height difference. Skirts must be to top of knee/no shorter than length of arm at longest finger. While they pulled it off, I thought the assistant principal was going to bust a gut laughing when he had to send/call home because the skirts were too short per dress code standards. The rest of the boys stayed skirts and all.
The next year board/Bermuda (knee length) shorts were approved