You can always tell when I've been hanging out on the Allnurses.com forums too much -- I get up on a soap box. I'm amazed, though, at how many new nurses are grasping at straws to find "reasons" to quit their first jobs because they're unhappy and they're just positive that things are going to be better elsewhere. Even if there is no elsewhere in the immediate future. It's not THEIR fault that they're miserable -- it's the job. Or their co-workers are all mean and out to get them. (Probably because of their incredible beauty.) Staffing is a nightmare, the CNAs are all hiding and they're afraid they're going to "loose" their license. They'd better quit RIGHT NOW, so they don't "loose" that license. (I wonder if that one is as transparent to spouses who are looking for a little help with the rent -- not to mention those school loans you've racked up -- as it is to some of the rest of us.) The job is ruining their lives and their mental health -- they're seriously worried for their mental health if they don't quit right now. Where did all of these fragile people come from?
Seriously, folks. The first year of nursing sucks. You have the internet and all of that -- how could you not know that the first year of nursing sucks? It does. We've all been through it. The only way to GET through it is to GO through it, but there's a big group of newbies every year who are SURE that doesn't apply to them. No one as ever been as miserable as they are. No one understands. They HATE going to work every day. Management is targeting them and they're sure they're going to be fired. They're concerned that their mental health might be permanently damaged by the trauma of staying in that job ONE MORE DAY. Given the inevitability of "loosing" that license and permanent damage to their mental health, it's all right to quit that job tomorrow, isn't it? Or maybe it's that their DREAAAAAAAAM job is opening up, and they've been offered the job. It's OK to quit this job to take their DREAAAAAAAAM job, isn't it?
How do they even know their dream job is hiring if they have every intention of making their first job work out? What are all those job applications doing out there, floating around if they're serious about this job? You DID intend to keep this job for one to two years when you took it, didn't you? If not, shame on you!
The first year of nursing sucks. You're going to hate going to work every day, and some of you are going to cry all the way to work and all the way home. You'll be exhausted, both mentally and physically and your normal hobbies and activities may take second seat to the job. You'll be constantly afraid of making a mistake, and you will MAKE mistakes. You'll feel incompetent. You may lose sleep because you're worrying about your job. Switching jobs isn't going to miraculously make you confident and competent. It's just going to delay you on your path through that first miserable year. It may even look bad on your resume, paint you as a job hopper. (I'm always shocked by how many new nurses are on their third or fourth job in less than two years who will assure me that they're not job hoppers. Honey, if you're on your third job in less than two years, you're a job hopper. Really.)
Don't people have bills to pay? Or is it that no one feels responsible for paying their own bills anymore? How is it that so many people feel free to just up and quit a paying job without another one in sight? I guess I'm getting old, because I really don't get it.
As you see, I edited my response; however, let's not make the assumption people will "jump all over" the OP who wrote it...only people can sate their experiences. Sometimes looking at objectivity is the name if the game to grow, which in that thread the OP may need to do-especially on a previous thread that the OP started...
I did see, thanks. As to my concern about being respectful of each other, that's just me. I was touched by her honest posting.
I remember that. You can count me in now as a part of the Crusty Old Bat Society. I think I'm definitely old.
Actually, the "Crusty Old Bat" title is a bit of a joke. Someone posted (a long, long time ago) complaints about having to work with "crusty old bats." Those of us who have many years of experience pounced on it and turned it into a title.
In other words, we took a disrespectful/hurtful comment and turned it into a positive. And really, most nurses with years of experience enjoy passing on their knowledge to newer nurses. But when we're treated disrespectfully, and our efforts are rebuffed, then yes, you'll find we're less than enthusiastic to continue trying to help.
Instead of Kind of being harsh and saying 'you don't have bills to pay' start a a thread saying I've been in your shoes. It was hard for me as well in (insert ancient year here) and we dealt with it. We didn't have the internet back the. And no one to really vent to. To all you new nurses that are having trouble and feel like leaving your new job? tell us old crusty bats why. We can give tips. Do you have problems with time management? Here's how I deal/dealt with it. Family members breathing down your throat? I dealt with it this way.
Everyone is different with dealing with stress and situations. And some people no matter how much you tell them not to get into nursing do anyway because they think it's like on tv.
I understand what you're trying to say, but the delivery is all wrong if you're trying to get answers from newbies. And it's pretty much a ghost town in here because you guys may jump down their throats.
The veteran nurses say they want to help? This could have been the thread for it. But the message got lost in between all the harshness.
( I know someone is going to say it's not harshness we're trying to helping you etc.. Save it!) :)
Speaking only for myself, I'm NOT trying to help, but not trying to discourage anyone. I'm having a conversation with colleagues. Isn't there a specific forum somewhere for those that need help, gentle words, and someone to frame reality in a way you can swallow it?
I promise not to puposely try to demean anyone, newbie or old bat. But when you read my posts you'll get truthful answers, and perhaps some people won't like the answers. So ignore me...or listen to someone else. Anyone that cries about hurt feelings needs to move on- argue the points made, not how someone was mean.
Nurses with this attitude ("Don't you have bills to pay?!") tend to be one of the reasons why new nurses change jobs. Usually this kind of statement comes from "We're already short staffed, I'm stressed enough as it is, I can't bear the thought of one more new nurse realizing this sucks and getting out, while I stay here year after year."
Yes, we all have bills to pay, but no, it's not right to expect people to be continuously miserable at their jobs when there are other options out there--and there are a lot of options out there for nurses (yes, some places and situations more so than others.)
I dont get this mentality many older nurses and parents have..."I had it hard, so should you!" Very unnatural. Shouldn't we want things to be better for future generations? Isn't it a human instinct to want the younger ones to thrive and not struggle?
I am not a mother, but when I have kids, I want them to have better (not necessarily easier). If the entire human race had the mentality of some of the seasoned nurses, we would still be in dark times where humans didn't progress or advance.
You can always tell when I've been hanging out on the Allnurses.com forums too much -- I get up on a soap box. I'm amazed, though, at how many new nurses are grasping at straws to find "reasons" to quit their first jobs because they're unhappy and they're just positive that things are going to be better elsewhere. Even if there is no elsewhere in the immediate future. It's not THEIR fault that they're miserable -- it's the job. Or their co-workers are all mean and out to get them. (Probably because of their incredible beauty.) Staffing is a nightmare, the CNAs are all hiding and they're afraid they're going to "loose" their license. They'd better quit RIGHT NOW, so they don't "loose" that license. (I wonder if that one is as transparent to spouses who are looking for a little help with the rent -- not to mention those school loans you've racked up -- as it is to some of the rest of us.) The job is ruining their lives and their mental health -- they're seriously worried for their mental health if they don't quit right now. Where did all of these fragile people come from?
Seriously, folks. The first year of nursing sucks. You have the internet and all of that -- how could you not know that the first year of nursing sucks? It does. We've all been through it. The only way to GET through it is to GO through it, but there's a big group of newbies every year who are SURE that doesn't apply to them. No one as ever been as miserable as they are. No one understands. They HATE going to work every day. Management is targeting them and they're sure they're going to be fired. They're concerned that their mental health might be permanently damaged by the trauma of staying in that job ONE MORE DAY. Given the inevitability of "loosing" that license and permanent damage to their mental health, it's all right to quit that job tomorrow, isn't it? Or maybe it's that their DREAAAAAAAAM job is opening up, and they've been offered the job. It's OK to quit this job to take their DREAAAAAAAAM job, isn't it?
How do they even know their dream job is hiring if they have every intention of making their first job work out? What are all those job applications doing out there, floating around if they're serious about this job? You DID intend to keep this job for one to two years when you took it, didn't you? If not, shame on you!
The first year of nursing sucks. You're going to hate going to work every day, and some of you are going to cry all the way to work and all the way home. You'll be exhausted, both mentally and physically and your normal hobbies and activities may take second seat to the job. You'll be constantly afraid of making a mistake, and you will MAKE mistakes. You'll feel incompetent. You may lose sleep because you're worrying about your job. Switching jobs isn't going to miraculously make you confident and competent. It's just going to delay you on your path through that first miserable year. It may even look bad on your resume, paint you as a job hopper. (I'm always shocked by how many new nurses are on their third or fourth job in less than two years who will assure me that they're not job hoppers. Honey, if you're on your third job in less than two years, you're a job hopper. Really.)
Don't people have bills to pay? Or is it that no one feels responsible for paying their own bills anymore? How is it that so many people feel free to just up and quit a paying job without another one in sight? I guess I'm getting old, because I really don't get it.
"Loose" as in... this ring is loose on my finger.
"Lose" as in... I'm afraid to lose my job or license.
I'm going to lose some weight so my clothes will be loose.
Personally, I don't think people should HAVE to suffer their first year as a nurse. It's unfair and speaks negatively to the nature of this profession that it's accepted that after all the hard work to become a nurse, you're going to absolutely dread going to work everyday. How about people start demanding better work environments rather than just quitting?
Personally I don't think people should HAVE to suffer their first year as a nurse. It's unfair and speaks negatively to the nature of this profession that it's accepted that after all the hard work to become a nurse, you're going to absolutely dread going to work everyday. How about people start demanding better work environments rather than just quitting?[/quote']
^^^^^THIS!!!! I abosolutely agree!!! I have been following this thread since it has started. This is the first comment I have read that brings this thread into a whole different perspective.
This post may be intended as an eye-opener, but quite frankly it just makes me disheartened. I'm a new nurse, I'm one of those "fragile" nurses that the OP wonders what hole they crawled out of. I am having work problems. Typical, right? What the post forgets to mention is that we have all individual with our own histories and life stories as she groups all of us new nurses into one ugly pile. I have had clinical depression for years before I even started nursing school, stemming from years of physical, sexual and mental abuse. Shame on me for being fragile, right? My dream of becoming a nurse stemmed from this dark time in my life, when the school nurse protected me from my attacker and got me help. So I studied hard and graduated second in my nursing school to better myself, to become someone like her. I currently am seven months in my first year of nursing on a busy med-surg telemetry floor. I work hard every day and give it my all every day. I never complain about the nursing work itself. The only issue I have is a "crusty old bat" who calls me "stupid" and "useless", without any actual useful criticism. I love criticism because inherently I feel that I am never good enough, that I constantly have room to improve. The remarks now only motivate me more. You know what doesn't motivate me? Being called a worthless, stumbling idiot. Oh yeah, and talking with management? Only made it worse.
That's the only thing making me want to leave my job, to search for something better. Also, I shouldn't be looked down upon for wanting to become a nurse practitioner or searching for my dreaaaaaam job. If I hadn't, I wouldn't be here, working my ass off, paying and investing every single bill that I have on time if not in advance.
So please do not group us newbies. We're still bettering ourselves and battling our own demons. Though eye-openers may be a "kick in the butt to wake you up", some of us are well aware of the hardships of nursing/life/the universe.
This post may be intended as an eye-opener but quite frankly it just makes me disheartened. I'm a new nurse, I'm one of those "fragile" nurses that the OP wonders what hole they crawled out of. I am having work problems. Typical, right? What the post forgets to mention is that we have all individual with our own histories and life stories as she groups all of us new nurses into one ugly pile. I have had clinical depression for years before I even started nursing school, stemming from years of physical, sexual and mental abuse. Shame on me for being fragile, right? My dream of becoming a nurse stemmed from this dark time in my life, when the school nurse protected me from my attacker and got me help. So I studied hard and graduated second in my nursing school to better myself, to become someone like her. I currently am seven months in my first year of nursing on a busy med-surg telemetry floor. I work hard every day and give it my all every day. I never complain about the nursing work itself. The only issue I have is a "crusty old bat" who calls me "stupid" and "useless", without any actual useful criticism. I love criticism because inherently I feel that I am never good enough, that I constantly have room to improve. The remarks now only motivate me more. You know what doesn't motivate me? Being called a worthless, stumbling idiot. Oh yeah, and talking with management? Only made it worse. That's the only thing making me want to leave my job, to search for something better. Also, I shouldn't be looked down upon for wanting to become a nurse practitioner or searching for my dreaaaaaam job. If I hadn't, I wouldn't be here, working my ass off, paying and investing every single bill that I have on time if not in advance. So please do not group us newbies. We're still bettering ourselves and battling our own demons. Though eye-openers may be a "kick in the butt to wake you up", some of us are well aware of the hardships of nursing/life/the universe.[/quote']
I feel like I'm repeating myself, but here it goes
1. There was no "lumping" of any newbies-if anything, the OP has admitted to jobs hunting as well-she asked a valid question.
2. Most of the people who have posted here have BTDT and have survived TREMENDOUS hardships, and have became successful a nurses, including myself.
One thing about the human condition is resiliency-you have it; this post made your uncomfortable, because of TRUTH... use it to galvanize and help hone the nurse to WANT to be.
Okay, so a list of things to do in order not to disappoint the Crusty Old Bat Society: stay at job for at least 1-2 years, do not job hop, do not make spelling or grammatical errors on Allnurses, do not post about how waiting for NCLEX is anxiety provoking, do not complain about co-workers (unless they are new/young nurses), do not complain about the first year of nursing. After all, following the COB society's rules are of top priority because it is the only way one can become a GREAT nurse like they all are [sarcasm]. We know by now that posting a thread on one of these topics will cause a big long chain of responses along the lines of "we used to have to test in a big center for two days and wouldn't find out if we passed or failed for months. If we failed we had to wait to test because testing only happened twice a year, blah blah blah".
I don't need to "find a reason" to quit my job, I will quit if I want to. I am an adult and will accept the consequences of my actions, whatever they may be. I will not stay at a job for two years that I am miserable at- I don't care if you say that will make me a bad nurse because I know that staying there would make me a worse one. There is not only one way to become a good nurse.
It does always entertain me how the older generations complain about how selfish, ungrateful, and disappointing the generations that THEY created are. When in reality so many things in the world have changed each generation how can it be expected that the people not change? Believe it or not the "older generations" are not perfect, all generations have their strengths and weaknesses....
I'm definitely old. 
Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN
11,305 Posts
I did see, thanks. As to my concern about being respectful of each other, that's just me. I was touched by her honest posting.