You can always tell when I've been hanging out on the Allnurses.com forums too much -- I get up on a soap box. I'm amazed, though, at how many new nurses are grasping at straws to find "reasons" to quit their first jobs because they're unhappy and they're just positive that things are going to be better elsewhere. Even if there is no elsewhere in the immediate future. It's not THEIR fault that they're miserable -- it's the job. Or their co-workers are all mean and out to get them. (Probably because of their incredible beauty.) Staffing is a nightmare, the CNAs are all hiding and they're afraid they're going to "loose" their license. They'd better quit RIGHT NOW, so they don't "loose" that license. (I wonder if that one is as transparent to spouses who are looking for a little help with the rent -- not to mention those school loans you've racked up -- as it is to some of the rest of us.) The job is ruining their lives and their mental health -- they're seriously worried for their mental health if they don't quit right now. Where did all of these fragile people come from?
Seriously, folks. The first year of nursing sucks. You have the internet and all of that -- how could you not know that the first year of nursing sucks? It does. We've all been through it. The only way to GET through it is to GO through it, but there's a big group of newbies every year who are SURE that doesn't apply to them. No one as ever been as miserable as they are. No one understands. They HATE going to work every day. Management is targeting them and they're sure they're going to be fired. They're concerned that their mental health might be permanently damaged by the trauma of staying in that job ONE MORE DAY. Given the inevitability of "loosing" that license and permanent damage to their mental health, it's all right to quit that job tomorrow, isn't it? Or maybe it's that their DREAAAAAAAAM job is opening up, and they've been offered the job. It's OK to quit this job to take their DREAAAAAAAAM job, isn't it?
How do they even know their dream job is hiring if they have every intention of making their first job work out? What are all those job applications doing out there, floating around if they're serious about this job? You DID intend to keep this job for one to two years when you took it, didn't you? If not, shame on you!
The first year of nursing sucks. You're going to hate going to work every day, and some of you are going to cry all the way to work and all the way home. You'll be exhausted, both mentally and physically and your normal hobbies and activities may take second seat to the job. You'll be constantly afraid of making a mistake, and you will MAKE mistakes. You'll feel incompetent. You may lose sleep because you're worrying about your job. Switching jobs isn't going to miraculously make you confident and competent. It's just going to delay you on your path through that first miserable year. It may even look bad on your resume, paint you as a job hopper. (I'm always shocked by how many new nurses are on their third or fourth job in less than two years who will assure me that they're not job hoppers. Honey, if you're on your third job in less than two years, you're a job hopper. Really.)
Don't people have bills to pay? Or is it that no one feels responsible for paying their own bills anymore? How is it that so many people feel free to just up and quit a paying job without another one in sight? I guess I'm getting old, because I really don't get it.
there also seems to be a ton of negativity whenever someone else tries to get into a better situation. Whether it's leaving a job after only a few months, or planning on NP or CRNA school, or wanting to move into management/away from the bedside...some of the negative comments seem very much like a case of sour grapes, like everyone else should suffer abuse because they had to, and if someone manages to get something better then they've somehow gotten away with something.
If your co-workers or people on here quitting their jobs makes you angry, ask yourself WHY you resent them so much. Are you jealous? Are you unhappy in your situation as well but haven't had the courage to change it? If you ARE content with your job and your life in general, then enjoy what you have and don't waste your time and energy criticizing other people.
This! So much this! Maybe that's the defining essence of a COB. I guess putting up with a lifetime of abuse for nothing would make anyone a bit crusty, especially if they perceive it is too late to do anything about it. Next best thing, take it out on someone who is getting on with their life and career. Spread the misery, keep everybody down in the pit.
Why does OP care why anyone would quit any job, or when? Is OP then on the hook to pay other people's bills? If people didn't quit jobs, other people wouldn't be able to step into them, including OP.
Why does OP care why anyone would quit any job or when? Is OP then on the hook to pay other people's bills? If people didn't quit jobs, other people wouldn't be able to step into them, including OP.[/quote']
You are missing the point; there have been generations of job hopping that has affected how new grads in the market are hired-next to nil.
Also, Ruby was opining how many people leave jobs without one in place.
The perspective is THIS: the first year is rough-it is; sometimes the job hopping doesn't stop, and nursing practice can be affected; it may be a small minority; however, that may affect our nursing practice, especially if a person who has had a difficult career becomes a supervisor, or a manager...perfecting nursing practice CAN be rough, scary, it makes one uncomfortable and should galvanize the nurse to be BETTER.
That was Ruby's point...grab what you need to lean to be SAFE, EFFECTIVE, and above ALL, COMPETENT, then go for that niche.
This! So much this! Maybe that's the defining essence of a COB. I guess putting up with a lifetime of abuse for nothing would make anyone a bit crusty especially if they perceive it is too late to do anything about it. Next best thing, take it out on someone who is getting on with their life and career. Spread the misery, keep everybody down in the pit.[/quote']
Nope, it's about putting what someone is saying in perspective, having a come to Jesus moment with your sensitive superego; growing a thicker skin, galvanize the experience, sharpen your mind and go to"bat" for your patients.
I have NEVER been abused in the 8 years I have been a nurse; if anything, being guided by honest people has made me a better nurse.
Sometimes it is about YOU, (collective you) an sometimes it's not, being a COB, (cute) is having the WISDOM to know the difference, as well as remain objective and cognizant to your nursing practice for your peers and patients and for our profession.
also, the ASSumption that people are job-hopping and complaining because we're spoiled Millennials who have no idea what hard work is...thanks for playing, but no. You have no idea what anyone else has been through or what their life is/was like. A large reason for my "look out for number one" mindset is because I spent most of my childhood homeless, sleeping in cars and church basements and eating out of food pantries and grocery store dumpsters. This "spoiled millennial" started working grunt jobs at age 10; don't tell me what hard work is. I look out for myself first because I know that no one else is.
There are so many resources here that no one should ever have to suffer. There are so many qualified nurses and people looking for work - there's no good reason why anyone should ever have to work short-staffed for 1980's wages and be treated like a slave until they snap and either fall into depression or start feeling like the only way to deal with the stress is to act like a rabid dog toward the people they work with. The ONLY reason things are as bad as they are in the work world is those at the top and their uncontrolled GREED.
If you think your employer will ever have your back or be loyal to you, you're wrong. They care about one thing and one thing only. $$$$$$$$$. Most people in my generation are keenly aware that employers consider people as disposable cogs and nothing more. Why should you be loyal when your employer has no intention of loyalty toward you? It's smart to do whatever you need to do to get the best situation that you can for yourself.
also the ASSumption that people are job-hopping and complaining because we're spoiled Millennials who have no idea what hard work is...thanks for playing, but no. [/quote']
It's been established that "Millennials" (in some literature includes my birth year) DO NOT have real estate on job hopping.
You have no idea what anyone else has been through or what their life is/was like. A large reason for my "look out for number one" mindset is because I spent most of my childhood homeless, sleeping in cars and church basements and eating out of food pantries and grocery store dumpsters. This "spoiled millennial" started working grunt jobs at age 10; don't tell me what hard work is. I look out for myself first because I know that no one else is. There are so many resources here that no one should ever have to suffer. There are so many qualified nurses and people looking for work - there's no good reason why anyone should ever have to work short-staffed for 1980's wages and be treated like a slave until they snap and either fall into depression or start feeling like the only way to deal with the stress is to act like a rabid dog toward the people they work with. The ONLY reason things are as bad as they are in the work world is those at the top and their uncontrolled GREED. If you think your employer will ever have your back or be loyal to you, you're wrong. They care about one thing and one thing only. $$$$$$$$$. Most people in my generation are keenly aware that employers consider people as disposable cogs and nothing more. Why should you be loyal when your employer has no intention of loyalty toward you? It's smart to do whatever you need to do to get the best situation that you can for yourself.
As for the response to the rest of your post, many who have BTDT HAVE experience hardship and triumph and residency through similar or other hardships and have the WISDOM to know how to handle the corporization of this business, as well as many other business that operate the same way...this is NOTHING new.
The only difference is how resilient one can be to handle many challenges-either be the change that they can seek and shape this profession, OR, continue to fall into the mistakable tract of being unhappy because of that "rough" first year.
Seeking wisdom in lessons learned from that "transition" year WILL a better nurse make; nursing history has YET to prove me wrong.
Hi LadyFree - I see you found the thread I'm going to link here.
Just read this thread which gives a different perspective on what Ruby was talking about. Do we put up with things at work that we shouldn't put up with? Are we abused as workers?
This is someone reaching out - don't go over there and bash her on the head folks. I just think the timing of her thread and Ruby's thread is . . .timely. I've been here a long time and read threads like both of these. Looks like things don't change.
Hi LadyFree - I see you found the thread I'm going to link here. Just read this thread which gives a different perspective on what Ruby was talking about. Do we put up with things at work that we shouldn't put up with? Are we abused as workers? This is someone reaching out - don't go over there and bash her on the head folks. I just think the timing of her thread and Ruby's thread is . . .timely. I've been here a long time and read threads like both of these. Looks like things don't change. https://allnurses.com/general-nursing-discussion/abuse-culture-nursing-902854.html
I find it interesting that what we need to realize, as human beings FIRST, is many things change, yet stay the same.
As far as the link; it is more of a testimony that HONESTY and TRUTH seem to be a cold shock, sometimes; that should not be deemed "abusive" either...TRUTH can be unpleasant, but needed; it's about sometimes reconciling the response and being BETTER for KNOWING, and that's empowering.
If you had read it, you would've seen I had my OWN response.
If you also know how long I have been here and read (not always posting) you would be AWARE that I am WELL aware of postings.
But thanks anyway....I guess
Oh dear . . .one of the reasons I sometimes hate the internet is folks mistake the intention of postings. I'm so sorry if you took mine to be criticism. Not my intent at all. I thought it was a timely thread in relation to this one and wanted to let folks know about it. But I'd seen that you had posted so I wanted to acknowledge that. I made no judgment on your posting or the OP's posting except to say I've read both kinds of threads since I came here and wonder why nothing has changed.
Or has it changed? Thought it would be a good thing to discuss.
I did see your posting and appreciated it.
Again, so terribly sorry that it came across the way you interpreted it.
Oh dear . . .one of the reasons I sometimes hate the internet is folks mistake the intention of postings. I'm so sorry if you took mine to be criticism. Not my intent at all. I thought it was a timely thread in relation to this one and wanted to let folks know about it. But I'd seen that you had posted so I wanted to acknowledge that. I made no judgment on your posting or the OP's posting except to say I've read both kinds of threads since I came here and wonder why nothing has changed. Or has it changed? Thought it would be a good thing to discuss. I did see your posting and appreciated it. Again so terribly sorry that it came across the way you interpreted it. [/quote']
As you see, I edited my response; however, let's not make the assumption people will "jump all over" the OP who wrote it...only people can sate their experiences. Sometimes looking at objectivity is the name if the game to grow, which in that thread the OP may need to do-especially on a previous thread that the OP started...
Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
I actually didn't say that at all. Sorry you couldn't read and comprehend what I wrote. And if you're "venting" is going to be trashing people because they annoy you then just keep it to yourself. Like you said, you might have been browsing allnurses too much. No matter the causation, don't come back at vulnerable people with insults. Seriously you're going to attack people who are insecure and call it "venting"??! There's something wrong THERE, sister.
The same should be said for new nurses who vent about the "battleaxes" that precept them; the "old hags" they have to work with; the "dinosaurs" who make it dreary to go to work, since they don't socialize at work; etc., etc., etc.
Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
This! So much this! Maybe that's the defining essence of a COB. I guess putting up with a lifetime of abuse for nothing would make anyone a bit crusty, especially if they perceive it is too late to do anything about it. Next best thing, take it out on someone who is getting on with their life and career. Spread the misery, keep everybody down in the pit.
Actually, the "Crusty Old Bat" title is a bit of a joke. Someone posted (a long, long time ago) complaints about having to work with "crusty old bats." Those of us who have many years of experience pounced on it and turned it into a title.
In other words, we took a disrespectful/hurtful comment and turned it into a positive. And really, most nurses with years of experience enjoy passing on their knowledge to newer nurses. But when we're treated disrespectfully, and our efforts are rebuffed, then yes, you'll find we're less than enthusiastic to continue trying to help.
kungpoopanda
215 Posts
This! So much this! Maybe that's the defining essence of a COB. I guess putting up with a lifetime of abuse for nothing would make anyone a bit crusty, especially if they perceive it is too late to do anything about it. Next best thing, take it out on someone who is getting on with their life and career. Spread the misery, keep everybody down in the pit.