Does nursing school break up relationships?

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I ask this question because I know that in my class several students have been cheated on by their husbands or boyfriends. Two ladies are filing for divorce. I would think that our partners would be supportive and be able to stay faithful. We as nursing students are trying to build a better future for ourselves. I guess they get tired of playing second fiddle to the studying, exams, and clinicals. Every cheating situation envolved the man doing the cheating. I am not saying that women don't cheat. It is so sad that our partners need so much attention from the opposite sex that they can't even see the big picture. We will eventually finish school and become awesome nurses.:heartbeat

Relatively few of my pharmacy classmates were married (not that many older students) but the one person in my class who got divorced was a guy who fathered a child when he was 15 (despite being morbidly obese and so physically unattractive, when I heard he was married, I asked if his wife was blind :chuckle ) and married the mother, and couldn't understand why she threw him out when she found out he was paying girls in our class to do very bizarre sexual things that she didn't want to do (as if having sex with a man who looked like this wasn't strange enough).

None of these people were able to get jobs within 100 miles or so of our town.

Before flaming me, I was not an attractive teenager either, to the point where there were boys who wouldn't date my friends because of me (and believe me, in a situation like that you find out who your friends really are!) but I didn't have older siblings who would buy booze for me, and my parents didn't provide it either which was the only thing I could think of.

I do remember that the wife had filed sexual abuse charges against him, and you had better not do that unless there's some substance to it!

Has anyone observed the divorce rate for male nursing students, and is there a pattern? As for the OP, did the couples in question have kids, and if they did, were they his?

I say that because it's not uncommon for an older student who's pursuing a degree to marry someone they don't love, just for the financial support. Any more, women probably do this as often as men.

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Good luck with your job. I know about being dependent on the cheater because they are making the money while you try to further your education. All we can do is hold our heads up and do what is best for our family and ourselves. Even if it means play nice until we can do better.

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I fear for my marriage. not that I think my hubby would cheat, but that I don't feel he is 100& supportive of me going back to school. When I start school he is going to have to pick up some of the slack around that house, and we fight about him doing his fair share now and I'm not even in school yet. And we have 2 kids, 6 and 4 yo.

I think spousal support is a big factor in it. Or lack thereof. If your spouse is not going to support you emotionally, mentally, and financially while your in NS, I can see it causing probs in the marriage. It's like you are being give the ultimatium, NS or marriage. INHO if it comes down to that in my marriage, I would choose NS because if my DH loved me and valued our marraige he would not ask me to choose.

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Specializes in psych. rehab nursing, float pool.

Or at the very least as long as you complete nursing school you will have a job in which to support yourself whether that be due to divorce or widowhood.

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Or at the very least as long as you complete nursing school you will have a job in which to support yourself whether that be due to divorce or widowhood.

I have an aunt who left school at 16 to support her family, and later married my uncle and had 3 kids. When she was about 30, one of her friends was widowed and had to send her kids away to live with relatives because she couldn't support them. :scrying: She realized that this could happen to her, and ended up going to nursing school.

She and my uncle are pushing 80 now.

:up:

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Specializes in Nursing home/home health/Rehab.

I am so lucky and glad that I have someone who supports me. He understands that I must study alot and he respects that. We have talked about this and he says what you are doing is going to help our future so I am in for the long haul. I always make time for him tho whether its taking a break to cook for him or taking a 5 to cuddle. I agree if school is all it takes to break up a relationship then its not much of a relationship. I havent noticed any of this in my class. As a matter of fact one girl was planning her wedding so stress on top of stress. Things happen and their could have been some underlying problems b4 school started who knows. But I feel for the one's who are divorcing, must be devastating.

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Specializes in Family Nurse Practitioner.
I have an aunt who left school at 16 to support her family, and later married my uncle and had 3 kids. When she was about 30, one of her friends was widowed and had to send her kids away to live with relatives because she couldn't support them. :scrying: She realized that this could happen to her, and ended up going to nursing school.

She and my uncle are pushing 80 now.

:up:

Thanks for sharing this! I just love stories of people being proactive with life rather than just sitting around waiting for it to happen to them. You just never know what is around the corner and being prepared just in case is always a smart idea, imo.

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I say YES, and if not totally then definetly a Big strain

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Specializes in LTC.

Im not married, however i have been in a longterm relationship. Nursing school doesn't break up relationships... People break up relationships. During my first semester, i did not get a chance to see my bf as much as i usually did, however i stilled made time for him when i could. He understood that i was busy and had to study all the time. When i was stessed and agitated from nursing school and took it out on him... He held me and told me it will be alright. He was and is one of the most supportive person to me. He told me constantly that i can make it. If your relationship and marriage can't survive nursing school, how can it survive any other tragedies ? Once again people destroy relationships , nursing school doesn't !

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I guess you have to be dating someone in the medical field to truely be understood. School is hard enough and we shouldn't have to worry about being cheated on. I know that mine of 13 years wasn't strong enough to handle nursing school. It's hard to cope with, but in the end I am better off without him.

Mine of 6 years wasn't strong enough either. My ex cheated on me with his ex who cheated on him! Ain't that a kick in the head! But hey, that's life. *in my Frank Sinatra voice*. "I just pick myself up and get back in the race".

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Nursing school does not break up relationships ,it may put a strain on them because

Of the workload. A mans going to cheat nursing school or not .

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Specializes in CNA/LPN.

I feel that if the relationship gets torn apart by what seems to be one of the significant others attending nursing school, that mostly likely there was some sort of underlying problem before nursing school - whether it be big or something small, it may have continued as unresolved in many circumstances and it just grew worse without realization until it's taken it's toll. It's probably consistent with many relationship problems that never get fixed, and nursing school just tears a bigger hole in what's left of the foundation of the relationship.

I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and needless to say, he has stated his concerns on worrying about how he's not in the medical field or interested in it, other than what I have to do with it. We've talked it out and it's definitely a must to have time together that is solely focused on the relationship and having our time together without nursing school talk. If you're in a relationship, you have to find time for that person, even if you feel there's not enough time for it in your world right now. As insane as nursing school may seem, you can't keep your relationship on the back burner and expect it to be okay all through nursing school and/or your career, if you're wanting to stay with your current partner.

On the other side, your man definitely needs to be considerate and understand when you need to study, when you need quiet time, and when you need the little sleep you do get! There has to be an ample amount of understanding from the other side, or things are just going to get worse or a problem is going to arise. They've got to be mature enough to stand back and realize the load of work that nursing school is and that you do love them and want to spend time with them, but just can't right this moment. If they can't see that, I believe a problem is there and it's only going to get worse unless they can truly work on their problems in the relationship strain/changes.

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