Published Dec 20, 2008
Lady01
28 Posts
I ask this question because I know that in my class several students have been cheated on by their husbands or boyfriends. Two ladies are filing for divorce. I would think that our partners would be supportive and be able to stay faithful. We as nursing students are trying to build a better future for ourselves. I guess they get tired of playing second fiddle to the studying, exams, and clinicals. Every cheating situation envolved the man doing the cheating. I am not saying that women don't cheat. It is so sad that our partners need so much attention from the opposite sex that they can't even see the big picture. We will eventually finish school and become awesome nurses.:heartbeat
Atheos
2,098 Posts
Oops misthanked.
I think you are misreading the situations.
No one is going to cheat solely because they are 'playing second fiddle' to school.
If someone is cheating it is a symptom of a dying relationship. It doesn't just happen.
If a relationship is bad, additional stresses are going to worsen it.
You could be right. Maybe the cheaters are just using the stress of having a partner in nursing school as an excuse. They would probably cheat even if nursing school wasn't even in the picture.
TRISHA,SN
40 Posts
SCHOOL HAS NOT ONLY TAKEN IT'S TOLL ON MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY BOYFRIEND BUT WITH MY WHOLE SOCIAL CIRCLE AND MY CHILDREN ALSO.....THEY ARE NOT GOING THROUGH IT SO NO...THEY JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND:crying2:
Jules A, MSN
8,864 Posts
I say good riddance! If they can't sitck by you and keep "it" in their pants during nursing school they surely won't be happy when you are working as a nurse with crazy hours and the chance of being mandated to stay over- time if your replacement doesn't show up etc. What a shame people are like this, their loss.
Jules A that is so true. It's their loss.
I guess you have to be dating someone in the medical field to truely be understood. School is hard enough and we shouldn't have to worry about being cheated on. I know that mine of 13 years wasn't strong enough to handle nursing school. It's hard to cope with, but in the end I am better off without him.
Mommy2NQ
177 Posts
AmericanRN
396 Posts
It's a shame that breakups happen but it's not only nursing/and nursing school, it happens to military families, police, firefighters, anything that requires crazy hours. With that being said there are so many successful families that fall into those categories, it's no excuse. If they can't hang w/waiting for someone to finish nursing school they would bail in the time of a real crisis.
With that being said I also see some of my fellow nursing students misuse their homes and have a constant barrage of other students there to study. While nursing schoool is extremely important, it's also important that the others at the home front be respected and I see that trampled on a lot.
My home has other people living it and they also have a right to hear about something besides nursing school so I study in the library if I'm going to study w/other people. There a few other students in my school like that and we don't use our houses as a meeting place for everyones whining. Those families who have allowed the constant intrusion of nursing school "buddies" are in jeopardy of not being a family by graduation.
HolliT
36 Posts
I agree with everything has its time and place. I am just starting school this January, but I have several friends that have done either the PN or RN program and watched how it affected the family/social circles.
Just like you have to plan for studing and school, you have to schedule family/spouse time that doesn't involve nursing talk. They deserve some of your undivided attention.
lpnflorida
1,304 Posts
I do not feel school per say breaks up relationships. Relationships do changed during this time. It is stressful for everyone involved the student, the spouse and the children. The student certainly has their focus on school, studying and perhaps having a job to boot. The family meanwhile is trying to adjust to the status quo being changed. I believe most families try to understand. It is tasking to have to be understanding day after day after day. Not unlike caregiver burnout.
If a spouse cheats, it is not school which caused it. I believe it would have happened at sometime, unless significant changes were made in the relationship. Sometimes people just cheat and it has nothing to do with their spouse at all. In that case consider yourself lucky to find out sooner as opposed to later.
chevyv, BSN, RN
1,679 Posts
I've been with my man for 13 yrs. I'm a part time nursing student, set to graduate May 09, I found out this past October that he's been cheating on me for the past 4 yrs. I had no idea (I mean no idea- honestly). I started ns 4 yrs ago. I never held study groups or attended because I chose to spend my time at home with my children (3.5 + 7.5 at the time). I really did my best to make sure everyone got enough of me, but it apparantly wasn't enough for him. I'm not sure if he wasn't comfortable with me one day having a good career, or if he was that lonely, or what; but he did what he did. It was tough in the beginning of ns. I had to really come up with some good time management and have to admit that my free time really focused on my children. I told him in the beginning that they were young and needed me more and he would have to accept and deal with it for a few years. He seemed ok with it, but I guess he wasn't.
He wants to stay together and work things out, but I'm focusing on graduation and getting a good job. I'll be taking the kids and leaving his good-for-nothing-sorry-a**! Right at this moment, the only regret I have is letting him talk me into giving up my job and therefore my freedom. I have a job interview tomorrow, but it's part time because, again, I have to focus on being successful in my last clinical and preceptorship. I have to stay here with my children and just concentrate on finishing.
Weird thing is that we sat down and came up with a plan together. I kept up my half of the plan and thought he was keeping up his end. He had just started am electrical business and I knew he needed to spend longer hours outside of the house. I thought that's what he was doing. I couldnt' have been more wrong. He even bought a house for us about 2 yrs ago. Talk about mixed feelings. I don't know if ns had anything to do with the decision he made, but I think it was a huge part of it.