We've all heard weird, wild and even ludicrous things slip out of a doctor's mouth! Provide your quote for this National Nurses Week contest and you'll be entered to win a $250 amazon.com gift card!
Winner will be announced May 16, 2017
UPDATE May 19, 2017:
The winner of the 2017 National Nurses Week Doctors Say The Darnedest Things giveaway is user Racer15 who said:
I had a pt brought by EMS for altered mental status. ER doc is talking to the pt asking her what meds she takes. Starts listing them off and then says "and something to help with my memory, umm, it's called, umm..". Doc looks at her and says "well it's obviously not working", turns around and walks out
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Pt was diagnosed with pneumothorax. Our Dr. who lived for over half his life in china reports to the Pt that, "You have air in your lungs." pt is 83 y/o, slightly obtunded and is now staring at this doc who essentially said that sky was blue. It was made even better by,"we are going to put a tube in and pull out the air." and then left the room. Pt is staring at me like someone just killed his dog. I explained, in my best Okie way, that he had pnumo and we would be placing a chest tube.
Oh how the lives we save aren't even the Pt sometimes.
Specializes in Med/Surg/Infection Control/Geriatrics.
Way back in 1993 I was only about 1 year out of nursing school. I had previously spent 17 years working in the hospital security department. Due to staffing levels the hospital could not hire me as a nurse. I was working 2-3 days per week in the ER at another hospital. My other 2 or 3 days I would go back and do my shift in security at my original hospital to make ends meet. One day I heard there was a code in the ER. There was concurrently two others going on at the exact same time. One other in ER and one in the cath lab. Since I was near the ER I stopped to check if assistance was needed. As I entered the new resident was shaking stated he's dead. He really had not checked out the client yet. I made him start compressions while a tech bagged and I cut the client's clothing off and proceeded to hook up an EKG. I then started an 18 gauge in both AC's. Keep in mind I was wearing a full police uniform with night stick and pistol. We eventually stablized the patient and I hear WOW they really cross train you security to handle everything. ER head nurse hired me on the spot and it was my last day working security.
My friend chased the pulmonologist, who seemed to be in a very big hurry, down the hall, yelling Dr. C, please come back, I have a problem! He finally slowed down and says, "So do I. I'll solve your problem after I solve mine." Then he went in the men's room. And she stood there and waited for him!!
Specializes in LTC, assisted living, med-surg, psych.
When my youngest son was a baby, he got RSV and had to be admitted to the hospital. As he was a roly-poly little thing, he was a hard stick and nurse after nurse tried to get an IV in. Finally they called the pediatrician in to start the line. Fortunately, it was his own doctor, a lady I absolutely loved because she was smart, sassy, and wildly sarcastic under the right circumstances. She proceeded to insert the IV and got it in on her first try...then got all tangled up in the tape. I had to help her get undone, whereupon she looked at me and deadpanned, "Tape is our friend".
Assisting a pediatrician with a circumcision, the baby's grandmother present. The doctor takes the foreskin and puts it in his shirt pocket. Grandmother and I exchange a look - he says "I use it for bait when I go fishing". He actually left with it still in his pocket and to this day I don't know if he was joking or not.
I was on the night shift years ago reading doctors notes in a chart during chart review and saw that he wrote: "The patient is super duper obese". I guess he has kids at home, I could not help but laugh at the word "duper".
New ENT resident put in order "Please do not ever suction patient." I had to call several times to clarify the order since the patient was a day 0 trach patient. The attending acually called back and said to please ignore the new moron on my service and suction as needed.
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I had to call several times to clarify the order since the patient was a day 0 trach patient. The attending acually called back and said to please ignore the new moron on my service and suction as needed. 
DaveICURN
63 Posts
Pt was diagnosed with pneumothorax. Our Dr. who lived for over half his life in china reports to the Pt that, "You have air in your lungs." pt is 83 y/o, slightly obtunded and is now staring at this doc who essentially said that sky was blue. It was made even better by,"we are going to put a tube in and pull out the air." and then left the room. Pt is staring at me like someone just killed his dog. I explained, in my best Okie way, that he had pnumo and we would be placing a chest tube.
Oh how the lives we save aren't even the Pt sometimes.