We've all heard weird, wild and even ludicrous things slip out of a doctor's mouth! Provide your quote for this National Nurses Week contest and you'll be entered to win a $250 amazon.com gift card!
Winner will be announced May 16, 2017
UPDATE May 19, 2017:
The winner of the 2017 National Nurses Week Doctors Say The Darnedest Things giveaway is user Racer15 who said:
I had a pt brought by EMS for altered mental status. ER doc is talking to the pt asking her what meds she takes. Starts listing them off and then says "and something to help with my memory, umm, it's called, umm..". Doc looks at her and says "well it's obviously not working", turns around and walks out
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Specializes in Addictions, psych, corrections, transfers.
We were fitting a nervous client for a pessary with the client spread eagle in stirrups. He instructed the client to tie floss to the pessary for easy removal. Then stated, "Get the unflavored floss though because you don't want a minty lady parts. Unless you do, then have at it." That made everyone laugh, including the client, which completely put her at ease.
Specializes in Emergency, Critical Care, Correctional.
When informing ER doctor that I would be confirming temporal temperature with a rectal reading on an infant with high temp, the doctor said, loudly and in front of patient's parents, "Of course you are, you love sticking things in the bum".
Poor young surgeon (and new dad) had been on 24/7 call for a couple weeks due to the only other surgeon in town having a heart attack. Had a patient of his in the ICU who had been on Levophed for hypotension but was now coming around. Called him with the requested hourly BP report and he said "Well go ahead and turn it UP". I questioned him several times- did he mean OFF and he was just talking gibberish so I hung up, turned off the Levophed and let the supervisor know.
Poor young surgeon comes in about 0630 wanting to know why I never called him! I told him what he had said (that he didn't remember) and he turned white as a sheet and said "You didn't actually DO IT did you?"
One of the craziest things I have heard a doctor say was while I was a patient having a pelvic exam. The male doctor was older and had been a local obstetrician for years. I told him he had delivered me years ago. While he was down there ​in the middle of my exam, he said "I thought you looked familiar!" 😨
The winner of the 2017 National Nurses Week Doctors Say The Darnedest Things giveaway is user Racer15 who said:
I had a pt brought by EMS for altered mental status. ER doc is talking to the pt asking her what meds she takes. Starts listing them off and then says "and something to help with my memory, umm, it's called, umm..". Doc looks at her and says "well it's obviously not working", turns around and walks out
One of the Anesthesiologists when a 400+ lbs patient came down for an amputation was at the desk and said to us 'Shamoo just swam on it." She is very notorious with us for saying hilariously inappropriate things because she's a few months from retirement.
Was on night duty, did evening vital check on elderly patient - spo2 was low, dropping on O2 and needed transfer. Next morning her consultant asked "why were you checking her vitals anyway, why is she on QDS vitals" turned out she had a growth pressing on her lung
The cardiologist came in to examine a 50 year old women who had done so much cocaine it inevitably led to complete heart failure; while I was showing him her rhythm on the monitor he looked at me and shook his head saying, "You, you do cocaine, its ok, your young, you need energy, she is 50, she cannot handle", I died! For the record I did not take his advice.
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Rivalicious
22 Posts
A newer doc rounding on one of my patients while I was hooking up his tube feed
"And what is patient x recieving an IV for?"