So I'm a young, single, heterosexual male nurse, and I'm well aware that I'm somewhat of a minority, as most nurses are female, and the ones that aren't, are often gay (yes, I know that is just a silly stereotype, and there's nothing wrong with being gay, but that's beside my point).
Thing is, I'm not even remotely feminine- I have a beard, I listen to heavy metal, I climb mountains, I work out, etcetera. But I get paranoid that most people probably perceive me as a little "girly" or "possibly homosexual", when I talk about being a nurse. I feel especially insecure about my masculinity when I'm walking home wearing my uniform past some heavy set dudes doing roadworks or construction or something "manly". Sometimes, I've even lied about studying nursing at uni- I've sometimes said I'm studying engineering, to seem more masculine.
I'm not ashamed of being a nurse- I'm damn proud! But I feel a little insecure due to the silly non-masculine stereotypes associated with my career choice. I'm also single and looking for a girlfriend, but I sense that women might think I'm gay, or unmanly, due to my profession. Maybe I'm just being paranoid.
Anyway, my main question is- ladies, do you find male nurses attractive? Do you like the idea of a man taking care of you? Or does it seem unmanly and unattractive?
When talking about potentially gay people, ya'll know what a beard is, right? I just couldn't read the beard talk without a smirk on my face.
Yeah, I'm thinking the reference in regards to gays is mostly lost here, so Ill spell it out for the masses. A 'beard' is the opposite gendered partner in a relationship used as a 'cover' for closeted gays or lesbians.
I dated a male nurse for awhile. Never once crossed my mind that he was gay. Doesn't bother me as long as it doesn't bother him. If it bothers him that's insecurity... which is not hot.
In undergrad women's studies, I presented my final project on gender equality and what have you to my class, and ended it with telling my class that I had been accepted into nursing school. Ended up dating one that summer, and then had a little fling with another during the fall/winter. Had a pretty decent time in nursing school too, whether it was inter-class or outside of it. And I let everyone know I was in nursing school, because I was proud of it. I'm 5'5", and not very hairy (though I try my best!), fit, but not super muscular. I do dress well though.
Well, I for one am *exhausted* from throwing myself and my panties at the hot, hunky physicians today. I couldn't bother myself with the male nurses because, you knowwwwwwww.....
This is why I can't even wear my doctor's stethoscope anymore.
Specializes in Cardiology, Cardiothoracic Surgical.
A quick survey of guys on my units....one has a boat and likes to fish, one's wife just had a kid, one is looking for a wife, one has twins and likes to play basketball, one is moving to be with his boyfriend, one is looking for a boyfriend, one is in school for BSN, one wants to marry me, one does jujitsu, one hunts, and one sews better than I do.
...In other words, about as varied as all other men come!
I did not, as you quoted, say I was "100% female," though in both cases I think the "quotes" were reasonable extrapolations of the meaning in the original text. Unless you were telling me not to get bent when you see male nurses/tech get called doctor. Because I promise, I don't.
If you're being "literal" as you say, a woman is an adult human female, and female has specific biological (scientific, not social) definitions which have nothing to do with gender identity. So I have already identified myself. Even if I were a trans woman, it's literally irrelevant to the discussion at hand.
You may also want to read up on The First Amendment. I said asking a woman if she's genetically male because she admits to having facial hair is gross, and I stand by that. I am neither Congress nor trying to restrict your right to speak, so we're 0 for 2 on what that amendment covers. I disagree with what you said, which literally has nothing to do with the first amendment.
I shan't engage this discussion further, as it has literally nothing to do with OP's concerns. Cheers.
most male nurses I've run into have been quite manly. I don't perceive it as being girly, I just figure they wanted to get into a line of work that paid well and had a lot of flexibility and opportunity, same as me. Honestly, I'm quite thrilled when male nurses are around because they can lift better than I can. I wouldn't rule out dating a guy just because he's a nurse either.
That being said, I have run into many male nurses that don't have the compassion and interest in their patients that females do, and I feel that is a no-go. I think if you are wondering about women finding you attractive as a male nurse...if you do your job and actually care about your patients and act appropriately, you will get the respect you have earned. And respect is everything when it comes to attractiveness.
What is NOT attractive to ANY woman EVER is when a young male nurse thinks its okay to put off (for example) cleaning up a patient because he is "busy" doing something else. Do not be lazy, do not neglect your patients.
If you're looking for someone to have a long term relationship with, these are the types of things that you can expect a woman to consider. If you're just looking to see how many young women will find you hot and want to sleep with you...then just a pretty face will do.
If you want to know how female patients feel about their male nurses, then just know that they want you to do your job and not screw them up. The majority of female patients you'll run into in the hospital will be decades older than you, anyway.
I'm 30, was married for 5 years, and I appreciate men that are respectful and give a damn. If what you're looking for is an actual adult relationship, then any female worth her salt will feel the same.
It makes me so angry and frustrated that we live in a world where people think they have to make a show of gender stereotypes to prove themselves, especially with the idea that it relates in ANY way to sexual orientation. Like OP, I have a beard (though probably not as luxurious as his) and I climb mountains. I'm still 100% woman.
For the record, I will be a women-caregivers-only patient, but it's a personal choice and for most patients I've encountered, it's not a big deal.
The logic here is dumbfounding- you hate gender stereotypes but you will be a woman-caregivers only patient?
I am going to start asking for a man doctor, a lady waitress, a police man, basically anything that fits the stereotype of who is best in that role.
And these women should be feminine enough- makeup, skirts, and heels only when they are my caregiver.
I get where your coming from. where I'm from that stereotype does exist. I know that not all male nurses are gay, but I know some who view male nurses as gay or less manly.
I personally think males nurses are like any man with any profession. Some are attractive, some are not. If i was single, I would date a male nurse as long as I liked him.
I was all kinds of attracted to one of my coworkers. Didn't work out, but still - I definitely wasn't less attracted to him because he was a nurse. Knowing his schedule was flexible like mine and he made good money was a plus. And there would have been the potential to travel together if we'd worked out, which would have been amazing. I would actually see dating another nurse as hugely beneficial.
To the OP, as a fellow nurse who happens to possess XY chromosomes and identify myself as a dude, I can understand that why you might be asking some of these questions. Let me see if I can offer you some insight that might help (without making you feel like a homophobe or pervert just for asking)
The fact is that a stereotype regarding the sexuality of men in nursing does exist and depending on where you live in the country and what populations you are working with you are more or less likely to experience it than others. Women who are nurses are not likely to have experienced it and so they are sometimes quick to dismiss or deny its existence. I will say that in my experience this stereotype is starting to be seen/heard less frequently as time goes on because we are having more media exposure to men in nursing. I also think that as it becomes more socially accepted in mainstream society to be LBGTQ there is less of an emphasis trying to guess what someone's sexuality is or their sexual identity (just my opinion). I personally don't care what someone's sexuality is because that's your business and I don't have the time or energy to try and make guesses at the sexuality of my peers or healthcare providers (and I think I'm not alone in this thought).
You sound like a nice guy and you came here to ask a few questions and to get some guidance on this issue and I can't fault you on that. I know some of the reply posts have been a little harsh but I hope that you have gotten enough healthy feedback to be able to move forward from here. My advice is that you consider maybe talking with someone about these concerns because it is likely that you are projecting them to the outside world in some form and women might be picking up on that which is causing some issues for you. Best of luck and feel free to keep posting (check out the Men in Nursing section as well)
The logic here is dumbfounding- you hate gender stereotypes but you will be a woman-caregivers only patient?
I am going to start asking for a man doctor, a lady waitress, a police man, basically anything that fits the stereotype of who is best in that role.
And these women should be feminine enough- makeup, skirts, and heels only when they are my caregiver.
Whoa, hey, slow down there now. You don't know her reasoning for wanting only females as caregivers. My Muslim patients wish to have exclusively female caregivers because of religious reasons. I also have patients who have experienced extreme sexual and physical violence at the hands of men, and suffer from severe PTSD and fear of males, and not just want female providers but downright NEED them for their own health and well-being.
Not everything is black and white and all laid out there to easily judge, okay?
Wile E Coyote, ASN, RN
471 Posts
Yeah, I'm thinking the reference in regards to gays is mostly lost here, so Ill spell it out for the masses. A 'beard' is the opposite gendered partner in a relationship used as a 'cover' for closeted gays or lesbians.