Do women find male nurses attractive?

[Sykadia]

Hi

So I'm a young, single, heterosexual male nurse, and I'm well aware that I'm somewhat of a minority, as most nurses are female, and the ones that aren't, are often gay (yes, I know that is just a silly stereotype, and there's nothing wrong with being gay, but that's beside my point).

Thing is, I'm not even remotely feminine- I have a beard, I listen to heavy metal, I climb mountains, I work out, etcetera. But I get paranoid that most people probably perceive me as a little "girly" or "possibly homosexual", when I talk about being a nurse. I feel especially insecure about my masculinity when I'm walking home wearing my uniform past some heavy set dudes doing roadworks or construction or something "manly". Sometimes, I've even lied about studying nursing at uni- I've sometimes said I'm studying engineering, to seem more masculine.

I'm not ashamed of being a nurse- I'm damn proud! But I feel a little insecure due to the silly non-masculine stereotypes associated with my career choice. I'm also single and looking for a girlfriend, but I sense that women might think I'm gay, or unmanly, due to my profession. Maybe I'm just being paranoid.

Anyway, my main question is- ladies, do you find male nurses attractive? Do you like the idea of a man taking care of you? Or does it seem unmanly and unattractive?

Regards - Sykadia

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

Oh my, I can't get past "the ones that aren't ... are often gay."

Well. Thank goodness I married one of those rare, heterosexual nurses !

I think you're just meeting the wrong women. The right one wouldn't give a darn, and why would she?

I'm married to one of those heterosexual nurses as well.

Years ago, when I started nursing in the 70s, male nurses were very rare. Of the male nurses I knew well enough to have discussed such things (the ones I worked nights with -- and most of the guys seemed to work straight nights) all were either gay or escapees from the priesthood or a monastic order. The latter described themselves as "celibate", "asexual" or "auto sexual". (I didn't ask.). The OP's parents or grandparents may have fed him the statistic about male nurses being gay, and perhaps in their own experience that was true. Things have changed a lot in the past forty years.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

Personal experience- a lot of male nurses I've met have been gay, and it's well-known as a stereotype

It was well known as a stereotype forty years ago -- and forty years ago, the stereotype had some validity. Things have changed.

[LithEruiel]

I never cared what job a man had if I was attracted to him unless it was something I was ethically against for some reason (for example, one guy I was casually dating started working for a political candidate I had a lot of problems with - that actually didn't end it itself, but our political disagreements did!) I've also never been attracted to someone BECAUSE of their job. I don't think most people think anything negative about men being nurses anymore.

[BabyFood26]

In school, out of 65 people in my class, there were 8-10 guys. Only 1 was gay...but we also had 2 lesbians, so not sure how that fits into your equation. Do they cancel each other out?

On my old unit, there were at least 15-18 male RNs -- and only 1 or 2 are gay. On the flip side there were a couple of lesbians there as well.

Hahahahaha. Cancel each other out. I think that equation equals stereotypes suck lol

[SunnyPupRN]

I think these responses are being way to hard on the OP. Yes, he's serious, obviously, that's why he asked the question. No, there's nothing wrong with asking if there are women who like being taken care of, because....there are.

Why not give some support to our peer instead of making a mockery of the question?

OP- So you haven't settled into to your title as a nurse. You're right, this is still a female dominated profession, but that has nothing to do with your masculinity. People are getting more and more used to the idea of men being nurses.There are many types of relationships. Some like to be taken care of, it's fine. Some like more independence. There's no perfect answer. It's compatibility. If you are a nurturing person, sure, get out there and hold your chin up when you say you're a nurse. Build some confidence. Good luck!

[NotAllWhoWandeRN, ASN, RN]

Whoa, hey, slow down there now. You don't know her reasoning for wanting only females as caregivers. My Muslim patients wish to have exclusively female caregivers because of religious reasons. I also have patients who have experienced extreme sexual and physical violence at the hands of men, and suffer from severe PTSD and fear of males, and not just want female providers but downright NEED them for their own health and well-being.

Not everything is black and white and all laid out there to easily judge, okay?

1sttime has said here on AN that nonconsensual sex acts (for example, sex with an unconscious person) aren't a big deal, so I don't give two shriveled figs about what he thinks regarding women who want female caregivers.

[quazar]

1sttime has said here on AN that nonconsensual sex acts (for example, sex with an unconscious person) aren't a big deal, so I don't give two shriveled figs about what he thinks regarding women who want female caregivers.

Oh Lord. Wow. I did not know that.

[roser13, ASN, RN]

I think these responses are being way to hard on the OP. Yes, he's serious, obviously, that's why he asked the question. No, there's nothing wrong with asking if there are women who like being taken care of, because....there are.

Why not give some support to our peer instead of making a mockery of the question?

I will repeat myself in case you skipped over:

The thread's title wonders if women are "attracted" to male nurses. That question has a sexual connotation, as do the rest of OP's questions:

"ladies, do you find male nurses attractive?"

"Do you like the idea of a man taking care of you?"

"Or does it seem unmanly and unattractive?"

Had the OP merely asked if any women nurses had issues with a male caregiver, then the non-sexual intent would be clear. By couching these questions in the context that he did, there is no doubt in my mind of his intent, and it's entirely inappropriate.

Anyone who doesn't view those questions as inappropriate might need to examine their critical thinking skills.

[SunnyPupRN]

As, perhaps, they should. Any post by a nurse that proclaims, in advance, his maleness, I view as in need of education (kindly answer) or a take-down as to the insignificance of his male-ness (honest, viewed-as-brutal answer). As has been stated by PP, gender enters into my interaction with my peers NEVER. OP's un-documented declaration that most male nurses are gay deserves the honest ans

And his request to hear from female nurses as to whether they "like" their care as given by male nurses is beyond inappropriate, bordering on obscene.

If your interpretation is right, I agree. It actually didn't even occur to me. I interpreted his question with regard to 'being taken care of' as a follow up to his role as a boyfriend, since he was talking about being single. I didn't think he was referring to taking care of his patients.

[SunnyPupRN]

@roser13 see below. Nice try on the hit with critical thinking skills, but there's more than one interpretation....on almost anything. Especially when you are looking at a keyboard and cannot hear someone's emphasis or intonation.

[NotAllWhoWandeRN, ASN, RN]

Anyone who doesn't view those questions as inappropriate might need to examine their critical thinking skills.

On the contrary. I understand exactly where you're coming from with the exact words and questions that OP used. I am interpreting the questions a little differently based on the impression that OP communicated his meaning poorly, because human beings often say words that convey a message a little different from what they intended to say. He didn't say anything about being attracted to patients, but to women. If what he really meant was along the lines of "Do you get hot under the collar when a male nurse takes care of you as a patient?" then yes, that's really frickin disgusting. If he meant "Would women in general find a man who is a nurse attractive?" that's an innocent question. OP hasn't come back to clarify, so I'm not going to bother thinking it over any harder because my interpretation of his words doesn't change anything.

Communication is complicated, and multiple people with equally strong critical thinking skills can each interpret a statement differently.

[BostonFNP, APRN]

I'm quite thrilled when male nurses are around because they can lift better than I can.

a young male nurse thinks its okay to put off (for example) cleaning up a patient because he is "busy" doing something else.

What if they are busy helping you lift things instead?

Not to sound snarky, but when I worked bedside, this became a pet peeve of mine. I always said "yes" to helping colleagues, and often it was with something more physically demanding. Inevitably I would be helping someone, a bell would go off, and another colleague would just leave the patient for me to help when I was done instead of returning the favor. I always felt a little arrgavated it was more than ok for colleagues to say "you should do this because you are a man" but if I said the opposite I'd be fired.

I have run into many male nurses that don't have the compassion and interest in their patients that females do, and I feel that is a no-go.

You think males are more likely to not have compassion for their patients? Really? We can lecture the OP about stereotyping and at the same time say this?