I've got a couple of burrs under my saddle blanket and am requesting feedback from the allnurses community regarding professional behaviors:
I believe:
Someone should be referred to with their title of Ms, Mrs, Mr, Dr, etc. and their surname until permission is granted otherwise.
Profanity in professional situations is rarely acceptable and if so used, should be in consensual agreement, e.g. "May I speak frankly?"
It gets my goat how some believe they have the freedom to address another or use language that is not becoming to a professional relationship.
My wife, medical nurse Belinda, told me that at Anomaly Memorial Hospital the staff are encouraged to refer to the patients by their first names because it comes across as being more friendly.
In reading some articles on the internet, profanity is condoned and supported in some professional situations because it "releases tension".
"Bullhockey!" say I.
In my experiences, respect is received, even with Salt-of-the-Earth Psychotics, by giving them respect. And that respect, reinforced, has prevented escalating patients from experiencing total meltdowns: The statement, "I expect you to give me the same respect I give you" has caused many an angry patient to take pause.
I think of the multitude of smiles I've received, asking a patient, "May I call you...?" Or: "What would you like to be called?"
Profanity is rarely necessary in a professional situation. The use of profanity can be a sign of loss of control, or apathy. I hear profanity from an acquaintance as their way of saying, "I can say whatever I want with no regard to you".
I truly enjoy using euphemisms to say the vilest thing in the sweetest, most respectful way. Forms of the word "imprudent" has become one of my favs as of late: "You can't fix imprudence" sounds so much more respectful than the mainstream saying. Or: "How imprudent of administration to do that!"
Euphemisms help to take the focus of how something is said and puts the focus on what is said.
I've got a couple of burrs under my saddle blanket and am requesting feedback from the allnurses community regarding professional behaviors:
I believe:
Someone should be referred to with their title of Ms, Mrs, Mr, Dr, etc. and their surname until permission is granted otherwise.
Profanity in professional situations is rarely acceptable and if so used, should be in consensual agreement, e.g. "May I speak frankly?"
It gets my goat how some believe they have the freedom to address another or use language that is not becoming to a professional relationship.
My wife, medical nurse Belinda, told me that at Anomaly Memorial Hospital the staff are encouraged to refer to the patients by their first names because it comes across as being more friendly.
In reading some articles on the internet, profanity is condoned and supported in some professional situations because it "releases tension".
"Bullhockey!" say I.
In my experiences, respect is received, even with Salt-of-the-Earth Psychotics, by giving them respect. And that respect, reinforced, has prevented escalating patients from experiencing total meltdowns: The statement, "I expect you to give me the same respect I give you" has caused many an angry patient to take pause.
I think of the multitude of smiles I've received, asking a patient, "May I call you...?" Or: "What would you like to be called?"
Profanity is rarely necessary in a professional situation. The use of profanity can be a sign of loss of control, or apathy. I hear profanity from an acquaintance as their way of saying, "I can say whatever I want with no regard to you".
I truly enjoy using euphemisms to say the vilest thing in the sweetest, most respectful way. Forms of the word "imprudent" has become one of my favs as of late: "You can't fix imprudence" sounds so much more respectful than the mainstream saying. Or: "How imprudent of administration to do that!"
Euphemisms help to take the focus of how something is said and puts the focus on what is said.
What do you think?
Kudos Davy Do and this is also a major pet peeve of mine also. Not that I am prudish or don't use profane words sometimes myself, but never in a professional setting or in the company of someone that I don't well. I guess this reticence stems from my (our) age and upbringing, but to me, regardless of someone's class or status, this kind of talk comes just across as trashy, ignorant, and inarticulate-not cool or hip. I'm going to catch heat for this also, but the same goes for a person's appearance and presence.
In the UK because of the way qualifications work someone with a "doctorate in Medieval Poetry or some such" is actually a real doctor. The medical guys are doctors because that is their job title. I worked with a senior medical doctor who had 3 children, 2 were medical doctors and 1 had a doctorate in something else (can't remember what and it it is irrelevant to the story). That child took great delight in pointing out at family gatherings that THEY were the only real doctor in the family.
I freely admit to thinking the title more appropriate for medical doctors. If you want to do your PhD dissertation on the migratory patterns of Monarch Butterflies, well, good for you.
You'll still be Mr./Ms./Miss/Mrs. Monarch Butterfly Lover to me...
Years ago my coworkers were scolded by a pt's family member for calling their loved one Papa, and the nurse explained that it's a cultural thing & they mean it in a loving way. The pt's family member replied, "but it's not our culture". They were very offended by it.
I freely admit to thinking the title more appropriate for medical doctors. If you want to do your PhD dissertation on the migratory patterns of Monarch Butterflies, well, good for you.
You'll still be Mr./Ms./Miss/Mrs. Monarch Butterfly Lover to me...
Just curious, are there PhDs out there in other specialties that you DO consider worthy of the title? Psychology, English, etc? Seems arbitrary to insist that a title can only belong to one profession when it really just signifies a terminal degree. Not trying to argue at all, you've just genuinely peaked my interest.
Just curious, are there PhDs out there in other specialties that you DO consider worthy of the title? Psychology, English, etc? Seems arbitrary to insist that a title can only belong to one profession when it really just signifies a terminal degree. Not trying to argue at all, you've just genuinely peaked my interest.
Honestly, I would be much more likely to use the term "professor" than "doctor" in those cases. I guess the term "doctor" is burned in my brain as a medical role. (That, and meeting people with "soft" doctorates insisting on the title.) Lawyers technically have a doctorate, but any attorney insisting on the title would be laughed out of business...
I was brought up to address people as Miss, Mr, Mrs, Ms whatever the case may be. I also raised my kids to do the same and corrected their friends if they tried to call me by my first name. I believe it is a matter of respect and in some cases draws a line. I learned in nursing school to do the same. I have always addressed my patients this way until they said otherwise. In the professional setting I think it also gives that extra layer of "being professional".
Speaking about the use of profanity, for the most part I don't like it in the workplace. If a nurse is venting to me, or vice versa, then I get it assuming we know each other/are friendly, and it is away from others. I don't think it is appropriate in the workplace in order to relieve tension if people are just running around all the time using profanity.
Either way I don't let these things bother me too much. I have had patients and staff call me little names like mama, Miss Daisy, whatever, I know that different cultures do different things and if it was something that really bothered me I would say so, I think for the most part they mean no harm so I am not going to get too excited about it (unless the names really get bad lol).
At first I though it was because many of the Filipino nurses called people mama/papa, but lately I have heard parents (~30s) calling their kids that. ?♀️
I freely admit to thinking the title more appropriate for medical doctors. If you want to do your PhD dissertation on the migratory patterns of Monarch Butterflies, well, good for you.
You'll still be Mr./Ms./Miss/Mrs. Monarch Butterfly Lover to me...
But you would be wrong. Academic doctoral degrees existed long before the medical profession started required even a college-level education. The physicians appropriated the term "doctor" from the academics.
I like the way an earlier posted correctly identified her similarly discriminating against academic doctors as her personal bias. It's just that a bias -- one that is simply a personal preference not based on factual information. To take away the respect/prestige/etc. whatever that the PhD has earned is a bias -- a prejudice against academics that is similar to other biases and prejudices -- not a good thing.
And since nurses get PhDs (or DNPs), and not MDs, that prejudice hurts the discipline and profession of nursing. We are putting our profession "down" when we are biased against those of us who achieve a doctoral level of education, have earned the right to be called "Doctor" ... and we don't show the same level of respect that we give MDs.
At first I though it was because many of the Filipino nurses called people mama/papa, but lately I have heard parents (~30s) calling their kids that. ?♀️
I've heard more Mami/Papi than Mama/Papa. I get that it's cultural but I wonder how it came about, to me it makes no sense to call a child that name...?
Rose_Queen, BSN, MSN, RN
6 Articles; 12,051 Posts
So you’re saying I’m Scots at heart?