I've got a couple of burrs under my saddle blanket and am requesting feedback from the allnurses community regarding professional behaviors:
I believe:
Someone should be referred to with their title of Ms, Mrs, Mr, Dr, etc. and their surname until permission is granted otherwise.
Profanity in professional situations is rarely acceptable and if so used, should be in consensual agreement, e.g. "May I speak frankly?"
It gets my goat how some believe they have the freedom to address another or use language that is not becoming to a professional relationship.
My wife, medical nurse Belinda, told me that at Anomaly Memorial Hospital the staff are encouraged to refer to the patients by their first names because it comes across as being more friendly.
In reading some articles on the internet, profanity is condoned and supported in some professional situations because it "releases tension".
"Bullhockey!" say I.
In my experiences, respect is received, even with Salt-of-the-Earth Psychotics, by giving them respect. And that respect, reinforced, has prevented escalating patients from experiencing total meltdowns: The statement, "I expect you to give me the same respect I give you" has caused many an angry patient to take pause.
I think of the multitude of smiles I've received, asking a patient, "May I call you...?" Or: "What would you like to be called?"
Profanity is rarely necessary in a professional situation. The use of profanity can be a sign of loss of control, or apathy. I hear profanity from an acquaintance as their way of saying, "I can say whatever I want with no regard to you".
I truly enjoy using euphemisms to say the vilest thing in the sweetest, most respectful way. Forms of the word "imprudent" has become one of my favs as of late: "You can't fix imprudence" sounds so much more respectful than the mainstream saying. Or: "How imprudent of administration to do that!"
Euphemisms help to take the focus of how something is said and puts the focus on what is said.
There was a pic taken of Jason Hiney and me on March 15, 2020, the last shift that I worked at Wrongway. I downloaded to from my phone because it has a touch of portends to it.
The pic could be interpreted as me shaking Jason's hand as a good bye with Jason signaling that I'm outta here:
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
15 hours ago, Kooky Korky said:
Jason's OK with his pic being on here?
Oh, who gives a flying fruit basket of what is and isn't okay with Jason?
ACT-SHOO-ALL-LEE, Korky, years ago, I had those coworkers whose actual images I post here on allnurses sign a little handwritten form giving me permission to do so.
The current thing is to say Mr. John. Or Ms Vivian. I like that way
I always ask the patient what they prefer to be called, it cuts down on the confusion, allows the patient to have control of something when their health is out of control. Depending on generation/upbringing, it's different for everyone. I don't want to be called Ms Hoosier, Hoosier is fine. My mother in law wants to be called Mrs. Hoosier MIL.
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
Oh, it's just a pet peeve of mine when some young whippersnapper, who I'm old enough to be their grandfather, in a professional relationship, calls me "David".
Aaaaugh! I prefer "Dave" by those who know me. My mother was the only one who ever called me "David", and it was usually followed by "Dammit!"
In my preschool years, I thought Dammit was my last name.
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
Have you ever watched a movie based on true events that shows a "Where are they now?" at the end of the movie? I like that... it kinda of leaves me with a feeling of closure. So it is with this thread.
I bicycled into town yesterday for some subs from Subway and ran into one of the nurses that I had worked at Wrongway with for about 15 years, Mary Lou. Mary Lou had lots of time, so we had a long conversation playing catch up.
These are some of the main players in this thread and what happened to them:
One of the last things Mary Lou said was, "It can't get any worse".
Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
On 1/24/2022 at 10:39 AM, Davey Do said:
One of the last things Mary Lou said was, "It can't get any worse".
13 hours ago, Hoosier_RN said:
I try to avoid that comment. Fate has a way of proving me wrong, and making me regret it...
Peace out ✌️
I hear you, Hoosier.
I, too, hesitate in ever tempting The Fates. Although primarily benevolent forces, they wish to guide us to a higher level of understanding which can be a rather painful route.
I believe Mary Lou intended the statement as a point of reference to my own trials & tribulations due to Wrongway's past actions.
Mary Lou is 76 years old and chooses to continue working just to keep busy. She's a petite Black woman who could pass for being many years younger.
She and I had a conversation years ago about we both being financially comfortable enough to retire. She made a point that I have numerous outside interests, such as my art and bicycling, to keep me active and stimulated. Mary Lou has her interests, but is not as immersed in them as I am. She plans to work until she can work no more.
I, too, hesitate in ever tempting The Fates. Although primarily benevolent forces, they wish to guide us to a higher level of understanding which can be a rather painful route.
I believe Mary Lou intended the statement as a point of reference to my own trials & tribulations due to Wrongway's past actions.
Mary Lou is 76 years old and chooses to continue working just to keep busy. She's a petite Black woman who could pass for being many years younger.
She and I had a conversation years ago about we both being financially comfortable enough to retire. She made a point that I have numerous outside interests, such as my art and bicycling, to keep me active and stimulated. Mary Lou has her interests, but is not as immersed in them as I am. She plans to work until she can work no more.
Kooky Korky, BSN, RN
5,216 Posts
No, cursing is not right. We are professionals and should behave respectfully toward our patients and each other.
If someone is disrespectful toward me in the heat of the moment (a code), that is one thing. I let it go. but it is not OK in routine daily living.