There's a girl I like in nursing school whom I met in a math tutoring center at my school we were both going to. Right now she's in nursing school and I'm doing pre-reqs for nursing school. I only met her during her last semester. The first time I met her was her last semester there at the school we were at. She got accepted into nursing school at a college I'm trying to get into. She visited the campus we met at a couple times in the math lab she used to work at where I'd get help from her and her colleagues her first semester in nursing school. I talked to her a bit about me working for a warehouse that was operated under a hospital and managed by a former Surgical tech. The surgical tech who managed the warehouse inspired me into nursing school where I'd go to use my GI bill.
I asked her if I could keep in touch with her and she said yes and I asked for her email which she gave me. Toward the end of her first semester in nursing school and for school for me I asked her if she was seeing anybody. She said not while she's in nursing school. Now, SHE DID NOT say "No, not while I'm in nursing school but if you want to do something sometime, I'm graduating in December of 2016 so shoot me an email". She also did NOT say "No, not while I'm in nursing school and I'm not into you anyways but thanks for asking". She just simply said "No, not while I'm in nursing school." Any way, I was cool with her discipline.
So, I emailed her throughout the following semester(her second in nursing school). I'd send her emails maybe once a week about stuff like news or events or how she's doing or something about the lottery or anything. The only time she ever emailed me was about a filipino dessert. The whole time she's not responding to any of my email. I'm like it's ok, she's focusing on a very important career.
One night, I go into the college, the one she's going to for nursing school, library and see her with a group of people I'm assuming her classmates. I am in a room doing Russian homework and she goes into one next to mine with her classmates. I see her and walk up to go outside and wave hello. She's digging in her bag for something and sees me, as I'm about to wave she turns her back on me not acknowledging me. I've been patient with this girl for 5-6 months with maybe 1 email reply about Filipino dessert.
It was as if I was shutdown or something. Or blown off or ignored. It was rude because I just wanted to say hello. I felt crushed and went back into the room I was in. I then see her walking around with some guy in the library as if they're talking. I don't know who the guy is. So seeing that she couldn't even WAIVE at me hello and that she walked around with a guy as if they were "talking", I sent her friend a tense email with a lot of name calling.
I didn't send it to her because she was in the program and I was honoring her discipline. Kinda like a sniper not shooting at a combat medic letting the combat medic attend to a wounded soldier. I'm not in nursing school yet so I don't know what it's like, I've only heard rumors. I also sent her a separate email that didn't have name calling.
I think a month later she sends me an email "Please delete my email". I don't know if she read the email that I sent her friend but I've been waiting for 5-6 months for this girl and not once for one hour could she have ever sent me an email saying "Hey, how's your pre-reqs going?" or "Hey, nursing school is kicking my ass but I'm still trying the best I can. I'm still up for whatever you're up for I haven't forgotten about you." NOTHING.
After she sent me the "please delete my email" message, I kept emailing her begging for an explanation and why she sent it, kinda playing stupid and kinda not. She doesn't respond with an explanation. Just a week ago she send another email saying "Delete my email. Don't contact me again." But instead of responding and keep emailing I just stopped contacting her. I sent maybe one message after that asking why but she wouldn't respond.
Am I in the wrong for sending the email to her friend even though I've been waiting a long time and not once did I ever get a reply about anything except stupid filipino desserts? Is she being an ******* by letting me email her rambling on and her never speaking to me? What about not acknowledging me when I was trying to say hello? Why are girls such *******s like this? Why can't they just be simple and keep things simple like "You seem cool, you're former military and you want to do what I want to do...seems not too bad" or "Sorry but I'm not into guys like you for ******************** reason."
I have no beef with this girl. I just kindly asked her if she was seeing anybody this past December. She's beautiful, smart, and she comes off as focused which I like a lot and I was just trying to say hey I like you, when you have some time, I'd like to maybe spend time with you and get to know you. I'm not trying to ruin her life or bring her down or her career down. Just casual, come off as innocent type guy.
It's like she's wasting a good guys time or she makes good people turn into bad people.
Has anyone ever been through nursing school and they were asked out on a date? Or was being in the program so important that you did not date? I respect her discipline but out of the 5-9 months ish I've been trying to get a reply out of her, I didn't get one email. I don't think it's fair.
Am I being stupid for talking to someone that sounds like she's out of my league or is she just being a ***** to a nice guy who doesn't expect **** from anybody?
I'd send her emails like "if we dated, I'd do this for you..." I'd send her emails about things(all of them being non-sexual obviously as I'm trying to be respectful and serious about someone who is serious about themselves and their future) and I once sent her an email saying I like talking to you like this because it's like you're a patient in a coma and you're in a tough situation and I"m here by your side supporting you. Basically using a patient in a coma thing as an analogy showing that I'm being or can be supportive. I thought it was sweet.
I don't want sex out of her. I'd like her time and company.
So she's basically a selfish *****. Seems like she was a worthless **** that wasn't worth ****.
No, she's not any of those things. She just had the colossal nerve to not want to date you. Clearly, in your world, THAT'S NOT ALLOWED.
Get this, dude: she doesn't need a *reason* to not want to date you now that she has graduated. She has done NOTHING wrong by saying she'll pass. She doesn't feel like it. End of discussion. You are being completely inappropriate. Based on your creepy actions, she was very smart to cut you loose. Grow up and be a better person, or you are going to end up in jail or worse.
Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.
This is why women should just say, "I'm sorry, but I'm not interested.":facepalm:
But...the last time I directly communicated my lack of interest after a couple of dates, the man became berserk and enraged. He called me profane names such as the word that rhymes with 'witch' but starts with a 'B.'
He later engaged in stalker-like behavior such as driving frequently by my house to stare at me several years after our last date. There are reasons many women avoid directly saying, "I am not interested in you."
But...the last time I directly communicated my lack of interest after a couple of dates, the man became berserk and enraged. He called me profane names such as the word that rhymes with 'witch' but starts with a 'B.'
He later engaged in stalker-like behavior such as driving frequently by my house to stare at me several years after our last date. There are reasons many women avoid directly saying, "I am not interested in you."
You missed the point. As well as where I said you can't fix crazy.
We still should tell people what we're thinking.
I had a state trooper use me for a punching bag for three years of my life. I get domestic abuse. But I still would tell men when I honestly wasn't interested as politely as possible - though CLEARLY. And eventually although he carried 32 rounds to work on him every day, I told HIM to get out.
Specializes in CNA 8 yrs LPN 6 geri, chemical dependency.
PS-I really hope you understand the legal risk involved in contacting someone who doesn't want to be. It's very easy to get put in jail and honestly, I would have had a restraining order by now. Intensity isn't attractive if it's in the form of anger directed at you. Oh, and every guy I've told gently that they weren't my type ended up on a verbal, sometimes physical rampage. It doesn't work and people get rejected. Please learn not to take it personally, even when it is. One last thing, PLEASE don't think the responses on here justify any contact, even for an apology. Think of how nice it is to not have legal black marks, if nothing else.
PS-I really hope you understand the legal risk involved in contacting someone who doesn't want to be. It's very easy to get put in jail and honestly, I would have had a restraining order by now. Intensity isn't attractive if it's in the form of anger directed at you. Oh, and every guy I've told gently that they weren't my type ended up on a verbal, sometimes physical rampage. It doesn't work and people get rejected. Please learn not to take it personally, even when it is. One last thing, PLEASE don't think the responses on here justify any contact, even for an apology. Think of how nice it is to not have legal black marks, if nothing else.
Is that after dating them that you know whether their your type or not? This is something I've been trying to figure out myself as what is it that makes guys not be a girls type. Is it more personality, attitude, sense of humor etc
*She's* not doing *anything* to you. You wasted your own time. She's also not turning a good person into a bad person. If you're now behaving badly, that's on *you*. Leave her alone.
I agree with this statement completely. Dude, she has her own life. Her not answering her email simply means SHE'S NOT INTERESTED. You sound like a disrespectful stalker, based on what you have just said. Your negative feelings are NONE of her doing!
OP seems to have fled. Hopefully to delete this poor girl's email and NOT to engage in more creepy stalkerish behavior.
The dating world is tough, no doubt. But respecting someone's decision to cut all communication because they well and truly aren't interested in a relationship is pretty important.
Specializes in Home Health, Mental/Behavioral Health.
Although the OP displayed some vulgar and quite unsettling behavior to us, the fact still remains he's a human being, whom we don't know or what he's been through (earlier in life) . Repeatedly calling him a creep and insulting him is not going to help him grow and learn from this. If anything he's probably fled bcz he not only feels bad about what he did,but now feels like a ... I don't know ... inhuman piece of poo?... . Who knows if he has other problems (psych, emotional, disabilty etc.) And we're over here pounding him into the dirt.
I get it. This could be any one of our colleagues. This could be a guy pursuing one of our daughters. We all have been through an uncomfortable or threatening situation with a guy, or know someone who has, so it's easy to come charging with the knives and daggers. Seriously I get the feeling . I felt enraged when I saw what he said about the poor girl. It was disgusting.
But it's so done, if you go through the thread you can see he's already been called out MANY times. It's becoming redundant and a bit much at this point.
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carolinapooh, BSN, RN
3,577 Posts
Legally speaking, any continued unwanted contact is harassment. Content is irrelevant in that regard.