There's a girl I like in nursing school whom I met in a math tutoring center at my school we were both going to. Right now she's in nursing school and I'm doing pre-reqs for nursing school. I only met her during her last semester. The first time I met her was her last semester there at the school we were at. She got accepted into nursing school at a college I'm trying to get into. She visited the campus we met at a couple times in the math lab she used to work at where I'd get help from her and her colleagues her first semester in nursing school. I talked to her a bit about me working for a warehouse that was operated under a hospital and managed by a former Surgical tech. The surgical tech who managed the warehouse inspired me into nursing school where I'd go to use my GI bill.
I asked her if I could keep in touch with her and she said yes and I asked for her email which she gave me. Toward the end of her first semester in nursing school and for school for me I asked her if she was seeing anybody. She said not while she's in nursing school. Now, SHE DID NOT say "No, not while I'm in nursing school but if you want to do something sometime, I'm graduating in December of 2016 so shoot me an email". She also did NOT say "No, not while I'm in nursing school and I'm not into you anyways but thanks for asking". She just simply said "No, not while I'm in nursing school." Any way, I was cool with her discipline.
So, I emailed her throughout the following semester(her second in nursing school). I'd send her emails maybe once a week about stuff like news or events or how she's doing or something about the lottery or anything. The only time she ever emailed me was about a filipino dessert. The whole time she's not responding to any of my email. I'm like it's ok, she's focusing on a very important career.
One night, I go into the college, the one she's going to for nursing school, library and see her with a group of people I'm assuming her classmates. I am in a room doing Russian homework and she goes into one next to mine with her classmates. I see her and walk up to go outside and wave hello. She's digging in her bag for something and sees me, as I'm about to wave she turns her back on me not acknowledging me. I've been patient with this girl for 5-6 months with maybe 1 email reply about Filipino dessert.
It was as if I was shutdown or something. Or blown off or ignored. It was rude because I just wanted to say hello. I felt crushed and went back into the room I was in. I then see her walking around with some guy in the library as if they're talking. I don't know who the guy is. So seeing that she couldn't even WAIVE at me hello and that she walked around with a guy as if they were "talking", I sent her friend a tense email with a lot of name calling.
I didn't send it to her because she was in the program and I was honoring her discipline. Kinda like a sniper not shooting at a combat medic letting the combat medic attend to a wounded soldier. I'm not in nursing school yet so I don't know what it's like, I've only heard rumors. I also sent her a separate email that didn't have name calling.
I think a month later she sends me an email "Please delete my email". I don't know if she read the email that I sent her friend but I've been waiting for 5-6 months for this girl and not once for one hour could she have ever sent me an email saying "Hey, how's your pre-reqs going?" or "Hey, nursing school is kicking my ass but I'm still trying the best I can. I'm still up for whatever you're up for I haven't forgotten about you." NOTHING.
After she sent me the "please delete my email" message, I kept emailing her begging for an explanation and why she sent it, kinda playing stupid and kinda not. She doesn't respond with an explanation. Just a week ago she send another email saying "Delete my email. Don't contact me again." But instead of responding and keep emailing I just stopped contacting her. I sent maybe one message after that asking why but she wouldn't respond.
Am I in the wrong for sending the email to her friend even though I've been waiting a long time and not once did I ever get a reply about anything except stupid filipino desserts? Is she being an ******* by letting me email her rambling on and her never speaking to me? What about not acknowledging me when I was trying to say hello? Why are girls such *******s like this? Why can't they just be simple and keep things simple like "You seem cool, you're former military and you want to do what I want to do...seems not too bad" or "Sorry but I'm not into guys like you for ******************** reason."
I have no beef with this girl. I just kindly asked her if she was seeing anybody this past December. She's beautiful, smart, and she comes off as focused which I like a lot and I was just trying to say hey I like you, when you have some time, I'd like to maybe spend time with you and get to know you. I'm not trying to ruin her life or bring her down or her career down. Just casual, come off as innocent type guy.
It's like she's wasting a good guys time or she makes good people turn into bad people.
Has anyone ever been through nursing school and they were asked out on a date? Or was being in the program so important that you did not date? I respect her discipline but out of the 5-9 months ish I've been trying to get a reply out of her, I didn't get one email. I don't think it's fair.
Am I being stupid for talking to someone that sounds like she's out of my league or is she just being a ***** to a nice guy who doesn't expect **** from anybody?
I'd send her emails like "if we dated, I'd do this for you..." I'd send her emails about things(all of them being non-sexual obviously as I'm trying to be respectful and serious about someone who is serious about themselves and their future) and I once sent her an email saying I like talking to you like this because it's like you're a patient in a coma and you're in a tough situation and I"m here by your side supporting you. Basically using a patient in a coma thing as an analogy showing that I'm being or can be supportive. I thought it was sweet.
I don't want sex out of her. I'd like her time and company.
She dropped multiple hints of profound disinterest, hoping you'd catch a clue:
1. Lack of response to your emails for 6 to 9 months
2. Not acknowledging you when you waved at her
3. Faking a distant future, hoping you'd lose interest in the meantime (she did tell you that if you wanted to do something, she'd be graduating in December 2016).
People drop hints and clues to save face. People use this indirect technique of saying "no" without having to directly say "no." A major aspect of social etiquette is learning to read the clues and hints that people provide. Interpreting hints correctly will save you time and heartache.The vast majority of the time in the dating game, males usually approach females. Females who want to be approached make themselves approachable.
I will answer calls, texts and emails in a reasonable time frame if I am interested in the guy who sent them. I have made time in my schedule to spend with male schoolmates that I liked, even in nursing school.
However, I will not respond to men who do not pique my interest. People wonder why some women do not take the more direct route of saying "We are not a match" or "I am not interested in you." This is because some men have become enraged at direct, blatant rejection to the extent of cursing out or threatening the woman.
Good luck to you!
So she's basically a selfish *****. Seems like she was a worthless **** that wasn't worth ****.
Specializes in Case mgmt., rehab, (CRRN), LTC & psych.
So she's basically a selfish *****. Seems like she was a worthless **** that wasn't worth ****.
I do not see how the girl was being selfish, worthless, or whatever other names you are calling her. It seems that you are displacing your anger upon her.
Specializes in Home Health, Mental/Behavioral Health.
You can't blame others for the way you feel. It's immature. If you honestly were not getting the hints, then I'm really sorry. Either way, it's obvious now .. I hope .. that it's done with and it's time to move on. There are plenty of wise and helpful ppl here on AN who will jump at the opportunity to give good advice. But if you are truly here for that, you're going about it all wrong right now buddy...
I would have been more understanding if she was like "Oh well, I was kinda seeing a guy for a few months and he turned out to be an ass but I still have feelings for him so, with you? I can't because of him, he came first"..
Or "Oh well, I'm in nursing school at the moment. I'm SUPER busy. I'd be up for something cool if you're willing to wait for me. That'd be sweet of you."
Or "Oh yeah....sheesh...you're not in shape...and you are still in school, but the difference between you and I is that, I'm almost done and will be stress free of school requirements and you'll still be that way..so sorry I can't..plus nurses dating other nurses to me is a conflict of interest, I'm a nurse so I should go for a physician or a lawyer because they make more money than I do.."
Any answer that would have made it helpful to understand and would have helped me move on and be a better person...and I wouldn't get arrested or whatever ********, I'd have been totally fine.
In all of these scenarios you paint the girl either a someone who is pining away for you or as an insensitive person who doesn't like gentlemen. I find that a bit disturbing, given you have been provided with many explanations in what was wrong with this situation. Can't a girl just not be interested because she's not into you? Why must you take it as an insult?
I would have been more understanding if she was like "Oh well, I was kinda seeing a guy for a few months and he turned out to be an ass but I still have feelings for him so, with you? I can't because of him, he came first"..
You are not ready to date anyone, until you understand that she did not owe you anything. There is not some quid pro quo, where you say hello, send some emails, and then she is required to reply to you.
You can't blame others for the way you feel. It's immature. If you honestly were not getting the hints, then I'm really sorry. Either way, it's obvious now .. I hope .. that it's done with and it's time to move on. There are plenty of wise and helpful ppl here on AN who will jump at the opportunity to give good advice. But if you are truly here for that, you're going about it all wrong right now buddy...
I was not getting the hints until recently..like a week ago..but now I know what to look for. The only cues I care about are the cues of future patients I'll be caring for. Anyone else gets the cold shoulder. Except for here too obviously I mean I want advice on here so patients I'll be caring for and people on here are the only cues I'll care about. Anything else, gets a freezing cold shoulder.
You are not ready to date anyone, until you understand that she did not owe you anything. There is not some quid pro quo, where you say hello, send some emails, and then she is required to reply to you.
In all of these scenarios you paint the girl either a someone who is pining away for you or as an insensitive person who doesn't like gentlemen. I find that a bit disturbing, given you have been provided with many explanations in what was wrong with this situation. Can't a girl just not be interested because she's not into you? Why must you take it as an insult?
Because I thought when she said "Not while I'm in nursing school" i thought "maybe afterwards" hence why I emailed like I did. But then to not ever take the time out and email me like I guess I wasn't clear or maybe I should reiterate what I meant when I said "not while I'm in nursing school" is ridiculous to me.
To me, why is it hard to give a certain explanation that is understandable between both parties? Guys get mad, well make it understandable for him so he doesn't saving the girl the trouble..
Actually, you did. You've been judging her and calling her names for her lack of engagement with you. You felt she owed you email replies, you felt she owed you a wave, you felt she owed you a conversation. It bears repeating: she owes you nothing. She doesn't owe you return emails. She doesn't owe you idle chit chat if you two run into each other. She doesn't owe you an explanation that meets your standards about why she's not interested in you (or any explanation at all).
You don't get to dictate how other people feel or behave or express their thoughts and feelings. I think this could be a valuable experience for personal and professional growth for you if you'd just take a step back and hear what people here are telling you. The ability to self-reflect and analyze our *own* thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and actions is an invaluable tool for self-growth.
Beldar_the_Cenobite, CNA
470 Posts
So she's basically a selfish *****. Seems like she was a worthless **** that wasn't worth ****.