Dating while in nursing school?

[Beldar_the_Cenobite]

There's a girl I like in nursing school whom I met in a math tutoring center at my school we were both going to. Right now she's in nursing school and I'm doing pre-reqs for nursing school. I only met her during her last semester. The first time I met her was her last semester there at the school we were at. She got accepted into nursing school at a college I'm trying to get into. She visited the campus we met at a couple times in the math lab she used to work at where I'd get help from her and her colleagues her first semester in nursing school. I talked to her a bit about me working for a warehouse that was operated under a hospital and managed by a former Surgical tech. The surgical tech who managed the warehouse inspired me into nursing school where I'd go to use my GI bill.

I asked her if I could keep in touch with her and she said yes and I asked for her email which she gave me. Toward the end of her first semester in nursing school and for school for me I asked her if she was seeing anybody. She said not while she's in nursing school. Now, SHE DID NOT say "No, not while I'm in nursing school but if you want to do something sometime, I'm graduating in December of 2016 so shoot me an email". She also did NOT say "No, not while I'm in nursing school and I'm not into you anyways but thanks for asking". She just simply said "No, not while I'm in nursing school." Any way, I was cool with her discipline.

So, I emailed her throughout the following semester(her second in nursing school). I'd send her emails maybe once a week about stuff like news or events or how she's doing or something about the lottery or anything. The only time she ever emailed me was about a filipino dessert. The whole time she's not responding to any of my email. I'm like it's ok, she's focusing on a very important career.

One night, I go into the college, the one she's going to for nursing school, library and see her with a group of people I'm assuming her classmates. I am in a room doing Russian homework and she goes into one next to mine with her classmates. I see her and walk up to go outside and wave hello. She's digging in her bag for something and sees me, as I'm about to wave she turns her back on me not acknowledging me. I've been patient with this girl for 5-6 months with maybe 1 email reply about Filipino dessert.

It was as if I was shutdown or something. Or blown off or ignored. It was rude because I just wanted to say hello. I felt crushed and went back into the room I was in. I then see her walking around with some guy in the library as if they're talking. I don't know who the guy is. So seeing that she couldn't even WAIVE at me hello and that she walked around with a guy as if they were "talking", I sent her friend a tense email with a lot of name calling.

I didn't send it to her because she was in the program and I was honoring her discipline. Kinda like a sniper not shooting at a combat medic letting the combat medic attend to a wounded soldier. I'm not in nursing school yet so I don't know what it's like, I've only heard rumors. I also sent her a separate email that didn't have name calling.

I think a month later she sends me an email "Please delete my email". I don't know if she read the email that I sent her friend but I've been waiting for 5-6 months for this girl and not once for one hour could she have ever sent me an email saying "Hey, how's your pre-reqs going?" or "Hey, nursing school is kicking my ass but I'm still trying the best I can. I'm still up for whatever you're up for I haven't forgotten about you." NOTHING.

After she sent me the "please delete my email" message, I kept emailing her begging for an explanation and why she sent it, kinda playing stupid and kinda not. She doesn't respond with an explanation. Just a week ago she send another email saying "Delete my email. Don't contact me again." But instead of responding and keep emailing I just stopped contacting her. I sent maybe one message after that asking why but she wouldn't respond.

Am I in the wrong for sending the email to her friend even though I've been waiting a long time and not once did I ever get a reply about anything except stupid filipino desserts? Is she being an ******* by letting me email her rambling on and her never speaking to me? What about not acknowledging me when I was trying to say hello? Why are girls such *******s like this? Why can't they just be simple and keep things simple like "You seem cool, you're former military and you want to do what I want to do...seems not too bad" or "Sorry but I'm not into guys like you for ******************** reason."

I have no beef with this girl. I just kindly asked her if she was seeing anybody this past December. She's beautiful, smart, and she comes off as focused which I like a lot and I was just trying to say hey I like you, when you have some time, I'd like to maybe spend time with you and get to know you. I'm not trying to ruin her life or bring her down or her career down. Just casual, come off as innocent type guy.

It's like she's wasting a good guys time or she makes good people turn into bad people.

Has anyone ever been through nursing school and they were asked out on a date? Or was being in the program so important that you did not date? I respect her discipline but out of the 5-9 months ish I've been trying to get a reply out of her, I didn't get one email. I don't think it's fair.

Am I being stupid for talking to someone that sounds like she's out of my league or is she just being a ***** to a nice guy who doesn't expect **** from anybody?

I'd send her emails like "if we dated, I'd do this for you..." I'd send her emails about things(all of them being non-sexual obviously as I'm trying to be respectful and serious about someone who is serious about themselves and their future) and I once sent her an email saying I like talking to you like this because it's like you're a patient in a coma and you're in a tough situation and I"m here by your side supporting you. Basically using a patient in a coma thing as an analogy showing that I'm being or can be supportive. I thought it was sweet.

I don't want sex out of her. I'd like her time and company.

[FolksBtrippin, BSN, RN]

She's not into you.

I'm sorry, it really sucks, i know. I hate rejection!

There are others.

Focus on them.

[Nurse Leigh]

In this and other threads in which you've participated you come across as very...intense. If this is how you act in real life, then I imagine you might be a little off putting.

I would suggest that you take a couple of days away then come back and reread your posts as if they are written by someone else. Honestly think about how they sound.

We all need to self reflect and tweak ourselves a bit now and then. A minor adjustment in how we approach life now can make a great difference in the future.

[carolinapooh, BSN, RN]

So she's basically a selfish *****. Seems like she was a worthless **** that wasn't worth ****.

She doesn't like you. She's not interested in you. She was never interested in you. She tried multiple times to tell you that without flat out saying I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU ROMANTICALLY, PLEASE.

Her reasonings behind that are hers alone, and she doesn't have to share them if she doesn't want to.

She doesn't like you in that way. Leave her alone.

This is why women should just say, "I'm sorry, but I'm not interested.":facepalm:

[emmjayy, BSN, RN]

She doesn't like you. She's not interested in you. She was never interested in you. She tried multiple times to tell you that without flat out saying I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU ROMANTICALLY, PLEASE.

Her reasonings behind that are hers alone, and she doesn't have to share them if she doesn't want to.

She doesn't like you in that way. Leave her alone.

This is why women should just say, "I'm sorry, but I'm not interested.":facepalm:

I dunno, if I was being pursued by a guy who's as volatile as OP comes off, I'd be afraid to just reject him flat out. I've definitely had experiences where I've said no to a guy directly and been treated to insults and, in one case, stalking around my college. No thanks!!! Let's just say, I definitely understand why this girl took the approach she did even though from the outside it looks immature and silly.

[Piaffe]

So she's basically a selfish *****. Seems like she was a worthless **** that wasn't worth ****.

I think you need to take a step back from this situation and take a hard look at your own attitude and behaviour. Just because she has made it perfectly clear that she is uninterested in you, does not give you a right to berate her. Continually sending her and her friends emails is creepy and borderline on harassment depending on the content. Move on with your life.

On an aside, I have been in a long distance relationship during my entire schooling. Nursing school can be challenging, however it is not impossible to have a life outside of school.

[Nursein2017]

I myself have learned alot in life to similar scenarios such as what the OP has mentioned.

I haven't dated in 10 years and the last girl dumped me because I lived to far away. She wanted me to come visit her but couldn't get time off from work.

She sent me a text saying please stop to contact me or email and I did exactly that. No further communication.

I am getting into dating again but hid myself because i was overweight but the good news is, i'm a thin man and lost 100lbs and feel better about myself and not self conscious.

Correct me if im wrong but does how a guy looks as far as being sexy" play a reason why a girl would lose interest or not.

I don't know why but I keep thinking that a girl wouldn't lose interest in a good looking guy.

I think my mind is still stuck in high school where its , "he's so hot" or "he's ugly"

I've been getting alot of mixed messages but why do i think that a sexy looking guy will never get dumped? Maybe girls are more into the personality than looks.

[Longa]

As many have eluded, she gave you hints she wasn't interested and yet you continued to pursue. For future reference, if a woman gives you her email and you email her and she doesn't respond, she's not interested.

Try not to take it personally (I know it's hard--b/c I've been there before). If I were you, I would try and establish a friendship first--especially if you are both going to the same school, and then slowly increase the intimacy of the relationship, and see how she responds.

Don't overwhelm her with undeserved attention either. I skimmed some parts of your thread, and it seemed as though you were showering her with attention unnecessarily, especially since she didn't earn it.

Lastly--and I'm going out a bit on a limb here, as I'm just kind of going with my gut instinct--but you seem pretty sensitive. I'm not saying this negatively--as I'm sensitive myself and I think that sensitivity can take you a long way in nursing, so long as it is appropriately applied. What I would recommend is that you go out and just meet a lot of women, especially on campus. Just walk up and say, "Hi, my name is so and so, I just wanted to introduce myself."

Don't seek companionship/gf/any of that ****. Just put yourself out there, try to have a normal conversation where you get to know the girl, THEN (maybe after 5-10 mins of talking), judging by the vibes she's putting off (i.e., does it appear she likes you, or is she just being nice?), say something like, "hey I've enjoyed our conversation but I need to get running--would you like to continue our conversation over a cup of coffeee/beer sometime?"

Then. . .you usually get a number, and then don't stalk. Give them one text a few days later or whatever, ask them when they are available to meet for a drink, and if they DON'T reply. . .who cares? You are still in the same spot you were before. DOn't send them another text. Just keep meeting women and it will click eventually my friend.

Best of luck : )

[Nursein2017]

As many have eluded, she gave you hints she wasn't interested and yet you continued to pursue. For future reference, if a woman gives you her email and you email her and she doesn't respond, she's not interested.

Try not to take it personally (I know it's hard--b/c I've been there before). If I were you, I would try and establish a friendship first--especially if you are both going to the same school, and then slowly increase the intimacy of the relationship, and see how she responds.

Don't overwhelm her with undeserved attention either. I skimmed some parts of your thread, and it seemed as though you were showering her with attention unnecessarily, especially since she didn't earn it.

Lastly--and I'm going out a bit on a limb here, as I'm just kind of going with my gut instinct--but you seem pretty sensitive. I'm not saying this negatively--as I'm sensitive myself and I think that sensitivity can take you a long way in nursing, so long as it is appropriately applied. What I would recommend is that you go out and just meet a lot of women, especially on campus. Just walk up and say, "Hi, my name is so and so, I just wanted to introduce myself."

Don't seek companionship/gf/any of that ****. Just put yourself out there, try to have a normal conversation where you get to know the girl, THEN (maybe after 5-10 mins of talking), judging by the vibes she's putting off (i.e., does it appear she likes you, or is she just being nice?), say something like, "hey I've enjoyed our conversation but I need to get running--would you like to continue our conversation over a cup of coffeee/beer sometime?"

Then. . .you usually get a number, and then don't stalk. Give them one text a few days later or whatever, ask them when they are available to meet for a drink, and if they DON'T reply. . .who cares? You are still in the same spot you were before. DOn't send them another text. Just keep meeting women and it will click eventually my friend.

Best of luck : )

This right here teaches me alot! But the question I wanted to ask you is if how much a guy weighs makes the difference?

It just seems that girls dont like overweight guys and this has been a known thing.

[emmjayy, BSN, RN]

It just seems that girls dont like overweight guys and this has been a known thing.

This is down to personal preference. Personally, I would never date someone who was obese or overweight because it's unattractive to me. Period. On the flip side of that coin though is the fact that I keep myself in shape and healthy, so I'm not expecting something out of my partner that I'm not willing to do for myself - I value fitness in myself and in my partner. To me, when a guy is in shape it means he cares about himself and his health, and I like that. To another woman, though, a guy who stays in shape might come off as being obsessed with himself/training and that would be a turn-off. Like I said, it really comes down to personal preference.

[BabyFood26]

This right here teaches me alot! But the question I wanted to ask you is if how much a guy weighs makes the difference?

It just seems that girls dont like overweight guys and this has been a known thing.

My husband, in my opinion has always been handsome, but was pretty "stalky" or overweight you can say when we got together. And you are probably right, most females do not find it to be their cup of tea.

I was naturally small and physically fit. What attracted me to him was his confidence, impeccable personal hygeine and I just felt calm and safe around him. We've been together now for 10 years. Now after 2 kids and some self neglect I'm tipping the scales at my heaviest, and he on the flip side, is as fit as he's ever been. He's motivating me to start taking better care of myself now as well. I've made some progress in the past month.

But anyways! Like the previous responder said it's personal preference. I turned down guys that were considered to be better looking and healthier on the standard view, but I chose him bcz weight is something that is easily modified. To me, it's his morals, his drive and attitude towards life that make him attractive. But I'm not gonna lie, the fact that he wants to take care of his body and look good for me is a definite plus

[Horseshoe, BSN, RN]

This right here teaches me alot! But the question I wanted to ask you is if how much a guy weighs makes the difference?

It just seems that girls dont like overweight guys and this has been a known thing.

If you are morbidly obese, you may indeed have trouble attracting a mate.

But I will tell you this: every single day, an overweight male is being told "yes." Yes to a date, yes to marriage, yes, yes, yes.

Focus on being healthy, both physically and mentally. Be kind. Don't be a doormat. Show that you value yourself and have confidence. Women find confidence (not arrogance) attractive. Be good at what you do professionally. Show competence in life skills. Have hobbies that are fun to do with another person. Be smart. Be educated. Work hard. Save money. Show that you are a decent, ambitious person. Keep yourself clean. Be well dressed. Have perfect oral hygiene.

You will have no trouble finding a nice woman who will find you attractive and sexy.

[carolinapooh, BSN, RN]

I dunno, if I was being pursued by a guy who's as volatile as OP comes off, I'd be afraid to just reject him flat out. I've definitely had experiences where I've said no to a guy directly and been treated to insults and, in one case, stalking around my college. No thanks!!! Let's just say, I definitely understand why this girl took the approach she did even though from the outside it looks immature and silly.

I agree - I meant from the very first and I was speaking in a generality. We chicks have a reputation for beating around the bush, and we just shouldn't. Say what you mean. Then if they're obviously certifiable, you move on from there. Some people find it impossible to just say, "I'm sorry, but you're not my type, and I'm not interested."

You can't find these people on first meeting, but you CAN tell people you're not interested. What you can't do is fix crazy.