Cliques in Nursing School

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Specializes in Medical Surgical.

I am an advanced placement student set to graduate in May of next year. I am always a very friendly person and have extended myself to try to talk to individuals in my school. It is my senior year now and I feel because I did not start with the class from the beginning , then tend to snub me. I have never realized that even in your Mid twenties girls would still act so immature and clique. I had made friends with a few people down here, but one acts totally ignorant for me, after I was unable to do a favor for her. I explained why I was not able to and apologized several times, but that did not seem to work. I am uncertain what to do, I feel as if so many cliques have existed in my life and I am a friendly personable person, and do not get why I do not fit into the cliques. I don't know I just felt the need to vent. I am a bit of a sensitive individual, so it is hard being so far away from my family and friends back home, only to be treated with little to no hospitality at all. I even feel that the teachers have preferences in their students, I am not being paranoid either. I know one of the professors even went out to the Bar for one of the students birthdays, it is totally obvious that the cliques exist. I only feel like people are nice to me if they need something, which is not right at all. Does anyone have any suggestions for me (nice ones only) as to how to overcome this obstacle. Thank you all :banghead:

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Specializes in E.D..

Gee, I'm sorry about how you're feeling. My class has cliques, too, but we are all basically in a family-type atmosphere. All I can say is remember why you're there...to become a nurse. It certainly sounds like you will be a very caring one! School will be over before you know it. You will probably face cliques once you start working, though. There's no easy answer, but just keep on being friendly, and focus on your nursing. After all, the patient is the most important person...not your classmates...not your co-workers. Good luck!

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Specializes in NICU, Nursery.

I totally agree with the first post. If you did your part and these girls are still not nice to you, well it's their loss. Maybe you just need to find different people to befriend- definitely should be more accomodating and accepting of who you are. Sadly, these cliques are reality, you'll find it even when you've already become a nurse. As they say, like attracts like so i'm sure other "nicer" people will want to be with you.

Just do your part, study and cooperate with group work. And if they suddenly become "friendly" while asking for favors, please say no. They will just use you.

Believe that you're a great person, and I'm sure others will find that out too. Good Luck! ;)

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I wouldn't worry too much. You might be trying too hard, and just personality wise you might come off as really high strung/needy when you do that (I know I do). The best thing you can do is relax and not worry about it too much. The more you worry, the more you come off as kinda needy and it does throw people off in life. ...i know. Just try to be yourself, do your work best you can, and be friendly when asking people to work together. Don't worry too much about people using you for your work. They probably aren't, and you are just reading into that. It's kinda that whole self fulfilling prophecy thing.

Also, Cliques can be mean, but they can also be good...but you aren't going to avoid them by not going to nursing school. I mean there are even cliques in nursing homes...and those people are 80 years old. Just remember some cliques are groups of friends who have built trust in each other...maybe by having other classes together, or through shared experiences so you can't except to be right in with them right away. It takes time. Hang in there, and just try to be open, CONFIDENT, and non-judgmental. It will be ok :)

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Specializes in OR-ortho, neuro, trauma.

i'm very lucky to go to a school where cliques don't exist (in fact our professors complimented us on how well we all get along/work together). no one is mean to each other and we all try to help each other at clinical, lab, studying etc. just be yourself and i'm sure you will find some friends!

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Specializes in med/surg, telemetry, IV therapy, mgmt.

you are there to learn nursing. if you make a friend or two that is nice, but it is not why you are there. at the end of your life if you still have contact with people you knew through the years it will be rare. people and acquaintances will come and go throughout your life. ignore these knuckleheads and concentrate on your studies. be cordial, civil and respectful in dealing with others, but you will find that not everyone will return the same behavior. just ignore it. you cannot force anyone to be friendly with you. end of story. you move on.

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Specializes in Operating Room, Long Term Care.

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I won't worry about it. I tell myself I'm at school to learn and not make friends. We do have cliques at my school and a few who think they know it all, but honestly would you really want a friend who belittles or thinks less of you? Most of my instructors are pretty fair, but their are a few who seem to favor the younger more outgoing students. Hang in there, do your best at school and if they don't want to be your friend it's their loss.

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I agree with Daytonite, i graduated nursing school in june and we had all sorts of cliques. Its quite rediculous but its there, the teachers picked favorites just like in high school. You are there to learn and I know its hard to be away from family and friends but it will be over soon. I am the same way at first it really bothered me that no one talked to me, but after a while I was relieved, rumors start fast especially in a class full of girls that have cliques, keeping to myself and giving them no information about myself kept me out of these rumors. You dont have to come off needy for these people to do this to you its in a lot of these girls' nature. Be confident and concentrate on your schooling, thats ultimately why you are there. Good luck to you!

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Specializes in Legal, Ortho, Rehab.

There were cliques in my LPN and ADN program. Cliques exist at my job! Truth is, it is basic human nature. I have always been odd one out. I'd be lying if I told you I never belonged to a clique though. I guess I am in the MDS clique, but I'm still the odd one out. Cliques become a problem when the goal is to sabotage another. Just do what you gotta do. Don't worry about what others think. The goal here is to pass the NCLEX and become safe nurses. You probably won't see these people again, so who cares? I haven't run into anyone from college.

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Specializes in Medical Surgical.

Thank you so much from everyone for your support. I am here to become a nurse, but it would just be nice to have people who can be resources and be supportive. Thanks a bunch. :)

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Seriously, I really don't give much thought to friendship in nursing school. I am an older student. I know from experience that over the years, moving around in my old career, I'd only stay in touch with one or two people from each move, and that is just email or dinner once in a while. I also know from many seminars... that its best to not look for friends at work. You need a mental break. You need friends that are not medical.

Grasshopper, take heed of this advice. You already know how wacky these people are!!! Why on earth would you want to be around them more than 8 or 12 hours a day!! Keep family/personal things to yourself! Guard carefully. Many of these people are what I like to call "developmentally delayed". Types that want to know about you only for entertainment purposes.

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I am an advanced placement student set to graduate in May of next year. I am always a very friendly person and have extended myself to try to talk to individuals in my school. It is my senior year now and I feel because I did not start with the class from the beginning , then tend to snub me. I have never realized that even in your Mid twenties girls would still act so immature and clique. I had made friends with a few people down here, but one acts totally ignorant for me, after I was unable to do a favor for her. I explained why I was not able to and apologized several times, but that did not seem to work. I am uncertain what to do, I feel as if so many cliques have existed in my life and I am a friendly personable person, and do not get why I do not fit into the cliques. I don't know I just felt the need to vent. I am a bit of a sensitive individual, so it is hard being so far away from my family and friends back home, only to be treated with little to no hospitality at all. I even feel that the teachers have preferences in their students, I am not being paranoid either. I know one of the professors even went out to the Bar for one of the students birthdays, it is totally obvious that the cliques exist. I only feel like people are nice to me if they need something, which is not right at all. Does anyone have any suggestions for me (nice ones only) as to how to overcome this obstacle. Thank you all :banghead:

I bolded two statments you made. I am also the same way. I am a very personable person, it's just hard for me to open up to people that I do not know. I am also a bit of a sensitive person and I now see how this is going to affect me, especially being in nursing school and having to take critisim from instructors and other nursing students as well.

All I have to say is..Keep being the nice person you are, provide good nursing care, and don't let others bring you down so much. Everyone comes from different backgrounds and have their own lives and own way of reacting towards things. I'm sure not everything people say to you or how they act towards you is not a personal attack, but rather jsut the way they are.

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