my classmates HATE me

Southernurse · Sep 15, 2007

my class was a lot like that too...i told my instructor that i was going to bring in cat toys and toss them into the middle of the floor and let them fight over them. she loved the idea! keep in mind that your instructors apparently are very aware of what your class is like, and obviously did not believe the catty people who were on you. these people are very insecure about their skills and even though they may get high grades, they are sometimes lost on the floor. it is the same old pushing one down to get themselves up. this may never change, so only worry about yourself and your performance. you are the only representative for yourself and your license. patients and doctors can always pick out the nasties too. stay strong. you'll see that the ones that truly matter will be the ones to see you for who you are.

smk1, LPN · Sep 15, 2007

hallo everyone,
When i started nursing school i made a handful of friends in my class. However, one of the friends i had during pre-nursing dumped me soon after we got to nursing school. She never actually said i dont want to be friends, she just started treating me really badly. She was rude to me and would mock the way i speak and make fun of some of the things i would say. Well, i ignored her and eventually we stoped talking altogether.
I think she started spreading rumours about me, because one by one all our other friends started treating me the same way. I asked them why they were treating me like dirt and whether i had done anything to upset them. They said that i had not done anything and everything was ok. Later i would find out that they had study sessions or had lunch together and had not invited me to join them. Last year one of them told our instructor that i was looking at her paper doing an exam. I was mortified. I could not believe that she would accuse me of cheating. I would never do anything that stupid. We have not talked since that incident. I think that now they are telling people that i dont want to study with them because i can do better without them etc etc.
Recently i have noticed that when I do talk to my other classmates I get dirty, angry looks. I dont know what is being said about me now.
I am at my wits end. I am having such a difficult time concentrating on my studies, today i just felt like giving up and applying to another nursing school. i really dont know what to do. I can't confront anybody because i dont know who in the group is spreading rumours about me. I also cannot take another day of snickering and sneering behind my back.
If anyone has any suggestions about how to handle this situation, i am listening!

Hey you have to let it go and refocus your time and energy on what is important which is you and your life and goals. Do you really even want to be friends with these people anymore now that they have shown just how immature and backstabbing they really are? In a few semesters you will be gone and won't have to deal with any of them ever again. Look around for the quiet students who don't have a lot of connections to other in your class and slowly get to know them if you need a study partner or just need to socialize. Otherwise, show up listen, take your tests, write your papers, take care of your patients and move on. Don't let them see that they get to you or it will get worse.

CHATSDALE · Sep 15, 2007

i think that i was born with a KICK ME sign pinned to my back

these will always be around getting in their ego strokes

concentrate on school

graduating ahead of them will be the best revenge

biker nurse · Sep 15, 2007

You are there to learn not make friends. Everyone will eventually figure out how two faced they are. Study hard and stay out of the line of fire.

I would sit in the front row and at times the talking would be So loud I would excuse myself to the instructor, and tell them I could not hear her and please be quiet. Needless to say that doesn't make people want to be you friend!!

Anyway I passed my boards and they are still waiting to re-take the boards!!

I choose my friends but I can't choose my class mates or co-workers.

Be professional when necessary. Trust me the people that are important are watching and they aren't stupid.(instructors, nurse managers, etc)

ohmeowzer RN, RN · Sep 15, 2007

how immature they are.. what a bunch of petty people. i would stick w/ the program and show them they can't hurt you. these people are only a part of your life for a short time... you will be a awesome nurse.. stick with it honey.. i am in your corner.. you are in my prayers,, you have a friend in me..

pink2blue1 · Sep 15, 2007

Oh My Gosh! This sounds like a stuation I was in during my nursing program. It sucks, I wanted to quit SO BAD. Fortunately I had a very close friend in the program and I made it through. I didn't give up.

Like you I had a friend in pre-nursing and soon after we got to the regular program she stopped talking to me. I tried and tried to figure it out and then one day it all came out. It was awful. It was a total lie. I was class VP too. It was very hard for me to even give oral reports in front of the class without feeling like people were staring at me and giving me dirty looks. It sucked.

That was a year ago and to this day I still have a bit of anger inside. It was very hard.

Don't give up! This is YOUR dream and no one elses. Do this for you, don't quit because others won't talk to you, just focus on the end.....graduation!

If you want to talk more, pm me.

Hugs

Dalzac, LPN, LVN, RN · Sep 15, 2007

Reading this sent me back a couple or so decades, when I was in school. There are a few of those in every class. And they no nothing about you and yet they think you are nothing . I was 22 when I went to nursing school. My classmates wer around 18 to 40. Mostly youger. I was a moniter tech already, but wanted to be a critical nurse from the get go. There was one girl, 18 and fresh out of high school. I had kids so every once in a while I had to stay home with a sick one or take one to ER or something like that. Once my boys were playing laser sword fight, and one got whacked good and I had to leave clinicals to take him to ER. When I came back to class my classmates told me she was bragging about the fact she called child services and reported me for neglect. I was stunned. why would someone do that! but just let it go no one from DHS even called me.The insturctors asked her to stop or she would be terminated for harassing classmates. She didn't and was suspended. Your instructors know everthing. So have faith in them and talk to them when you need too.

ann945n, RN · Sep 15, 2007

Do your best to ignore them. Do not transfer, dont give them that satisfaction or power over you. Remember this will all be over soon and you will be happy you stuck it out and that you made it.

I would say do go talk to your school counselor for some support. Its hard to go through that and feel isolated. Also get a support group of friends outside of school around you and your family. I know for me it feels sooooo good to come home and to be able to tell my best friend or hubby what so and so did to piss me off or this person is such a you know what. Its great therapy. You can make it!

HM2VikingRN, RN · Sep 15, 2007

This is classic bullying behavior. Give your instructors a copy of an article by Longo about horizontal violence and nursing students. This behavior needs to be nipped in the bud but it is your instructors job to teach them the error of their ways.....

anonymurse · Sep 15, 2007

Same here. Worse actually. And I'll tell you you can make it through this. All you have to do is look at your motivation and find the place where you have no options. Mine was easy. If I didn't make it, my kids wouldn't eat. Well of course they would have, I'd do anything to feed my kids, but that's the place I chose for my "sticking point."

deeDawntee, RN · Sep 15, 2007

I think many of us have been in situations where we have felt like an outsider. God knows I have. But when you look at that group of people who are excluding you, do you really want to be a part of them? I will bet not. I know how incredibly difficult it is and I would recommend doing whatever you have to do to support yourself to get through this situation. Prayer helps. Therapy helps. Don't let them bully you out of school. I don't know any of the people I went to nursing school with anymore, the point is, this situation is temporary, even though it seems all encompassing, I promise you that it will pass.

:icon_hug: believe in yourself and you will get through this!

TrudyRN · Sep 15, 2007

Search your memory, search your heart. If pure, do your best to forget it. Make a decision to forgive them and try to forget them. The truth will win out eventually. Meantime, pray and ask God to help you, and try to cultivate a couple of new friends, perhaps outside of school. Or look for someone who might be sort of left out or a loner at your school and perhaps that person would enjoy getting to know you. If not, just carry on solo. Many of us, I imagine, have walked this path at some point in our lives. I certainly have. And I survived. And was able to clear up the misconceptions eventually.

I wish you the best. Do not beg for their friendship, don't be s

tand-offish either. Confront the ringleader, gently. Good luck.