Classmate making me feel uncomfortable.

[agua]

I'm in my psych rotation right now and there is a male classmate that is making me (female) feel increasingly uncomfortable. I had been getting strange vibes from him ever since 1st semester, but had nothing concrete to back up my vibes till yesterday.

We were in a meeting with the activities director for the facility we are at to discuss what to expect when going out in the community with the clients. The activities director mentioned there are some clients who like to strip their clothes off and run around naked. Upon hearing this, my classmate (male) pointed to me and said in a monotone voice, "yeah, she likes to do that too." I didn't find this funny and thought what he said was bizarre since I have barely interacted with this person. I felt very uncomfortable the rest of the day having to be around him, but really didn't start to think about how strange it was till the activities director came up to me and another student (female) and said something seems "off" with my classmate (male) because of some of the things he's overheard him say throughout the day including what he said in the meeting that morning.

What do you think of this? Do you think I should tell an instructor about it? I'm thinking I might want to for future clinicals because I feel like if I get stuck in a clinical group with him again, it's going to have a negative affect on me.

Thanks.

[PacoUSA, BSN, RN]

Yes, you can't keep quiet. You must report it just to save your own reputation. Tell the instructor. The good thing is that the activities director and another student have knowledge to corroborate what you're reporting. Don't worry about what happens to him afterwards, let the school deal with that. What that guy is doing is at a minimum inappropriate and there's no place for that.

I personally would say his statement also amounts to sexual harrassment. Does your school have a policy about that? At any rate, you need to talk to your instructor about it, making sure he/she knows that other people have knowledge about this incident.

[mspontiac]

Yep, say something. If you feel confident enough, say something to HIM. If not, report it to your instructor.

People who don't know boundaries or understand appropriate behavior have no place taking care of patients in vulnerable situations. You never know, that guy may be the dude who ends up molesting a patient with dementia. He may be harmless too. Who knows, but either way it needs to be dealt with.

Last semester we had a student who liked to talk about how he was rough with patients and "took no crap off of them." He admired RNs who were stong-handed with patients. We didn't hesitate as a group to report his comments to our instructor...long story short, he didn't make it in the program because he cut his own throat.

[caliotter3]

I would report it in writing, including what was related to you by the AD and the other student.

[AOx1]

Please report it to your instructor in writing. I am an instructor and this student needs to be counseled about his inappropriate behavior. If it recurs, he does not belong in nursing school. Something about this post sets off alarms for me. Please trust your instincts. Also, firmly redirect that student and tell him "that is inappropriate."

[futurenurse310]

Hmmm... from a young guys perspective... Sounds like hes trying to flirt/tease you. So in other words, hes trying to hit on you.... Did you joke around with him prior about something that made him feel somewhat comfortable with you?

The things I see wrong with this is that... he barely knows you and he is saying things like that, and that comment was pretty dam inappropriate especially in a classroom/clinical setting.

[agua]

Hmmm... from a young guys perspective... Sounds like hes trying to flirt/tease you. So in other words, hes trying to hit on you.... Did you joke around with him prior about something that made him feel somewhat comfortable with you?

The things I see wrong with this is that... he barely knows you and he is saying things like that, and that comment was pretty dam inappropriate especially in a classroom/clinical setting.

No, I've never joked around with him about anything nor gotten personal with him before.

[cmw6v8]

It seems a little too inappropriate to just be flirting...or if he is, he is seriously bent. Anyway, I'm not the expert on sexual harassment, but I think you do need to take action, beginning with letting the student know he made an inappropriate comment. It is considered harassment if someone makes you feel uncomfortable and you let them know and ask them to stop. If you don't ask them to stop, I don't think it's really considered harassment from a legal point of view. But I'm not 100% sure about that. It's just something to consider.

If this guy has suddenly been acting like this, that would be a warning sign to me that something isn't right, and for your own safety, I would definitely do something about it.

[dudette10, MSN, RN]

Maybe I'm off here, but this is college. Yes, nursing school, but still college. How about..."Look, dude, I have absolutely no interest in you, and what you say isn't funny. Back off or I'll have to take it higher because being around you creeps me out."

If he's normal (and I suspect he is), he'll stop. :)

[llg, PhD, RN]

If it were just one remark that could be clumsy flirting, I might keep quiet. But this sounds like more than that. Even the activities director noticed it. I'd talk to the instructor (or my academic advisor) as a first step.

[metricalpound]

I agree with Dudette.

You should have mentioned something right there after he said it showing that you were uncomfortable with what he said.

I'm a guy and in my lecture class some other guy made a rude comment about a woman's period, I shot that guy the most dirtiest look because I really don't find that humor humorous. I wasn't the only one, the girls around me were like about to take him down! I wouldn't report it to your instructor yet - if he makes another comment that upsets you, tell him that it upsets you. If he does it after that then you should report him to your instructor.

[kcochrane]

I'm with dudette too. It isn't really sexual harrasment if you haven't told him to stop. It is college and some men that are not mature yet. Now mind you I would have said some smart a## thing back to him, but I'm 47, been in the military and have male children that age. I can give it back better than anyone.

Even now you could go to him and say you didn't appreciate that comment he made and could he please stop. If it continues, then you do need to tell the instructor. I have a feeling that he had already been reported by the coordinator and other student.