i am a regular lurker and a sometimes poster here, but i choose to post this under another account.
i am a single mom, and work and go to school full-time, hence i need child care for my two preschoolers. i started with a in-home daycare as my kids could be together, and at first i liked the teacher/provider. but over the course of about 8 months, more and more things started to bother me.
"K" as i will call her, became more and more distant to my kids at dropoff, keeping me for half hour at a time at dropoff to discuss (what i see) trivial things, such as my daughters non interest in fruit, or her late toilet training, or my son's speech delay. when i suffered from some herniated discs and was getting epidural injections, i became so sick that it induced a lupus flare. i looked, and felt, like hell. out of friendly conversation, i mentioned that i had lupus. after that she began telling me about "someone she knows" who has lupus also, and how the doctors are all evil people who try to kill people with medicine, and don't know what they are doing, ad nauseum. i cut it off rather abruptly, and began seeking alternate care for my kids. there are many things that bothered me, but i won't bore everyone to death here.
the last straw was one morning, i dropped them off, and without a word, she swung open the door to her house to let us in. my son was carrying a keychain that he adores carrying with him in the car when we drive (which she doesn't allow at her house while he's there, that's fine, i usually take it away when i go). the first thing she does is gasps, rolls her eyes at me, and proceeds to yank his little 3 year old body into a sitting position on the floor, yelling at him that he can't have it, and then scolding me for allowing him to have such an inappropriate toy. my son was in tears as she proceeded to try to yank of his jacket. i stopped her, wanting to do some awful things, but calmly told her to take her hands off my son, and then i told her to gather my things that were at her house and informed her they would not be returning. she quickly began apologizing, and tried for ten minutes to convince me to let them stay, then tried to get me to sign a form of hers that said i was happy with her care. i got my kids and my things out of there, with my son still sobbing.
i have asked several colleagues and friends if they consider this abuse, and if it should be reported. what do you think? am i just over-reacting? or did "K" over-step her bounds? thanks to anyone who has read this far, and for any advice anyone can offer.
just wanted to let all who gave me advice and support that i was contacted by the division of child day care licensing. seems i wasn't the only one complaining about her. some of the new kids in her care were hit allegedly, and the mothers asked "K" about it. of course, she freaked out like she did with me. the lady that called to talk to me about my complaint had also personally met and interviewed "K". that's when "K" knew she was in trouble, cause all the paperwork had to get handed over so she could call all current and recent former clients of hers.
as of today, i was told that her license is permanently revoked for child abuse, but she is still being investigated for more charges to be brought against her. i am so glad i trusted my instincts and got my children out of there before they really got hurt!
so thanks everyone for listening and giving me great advice!
I don't think it is abuse, but it is definitely uncalled for. If she did that in front of you, what could she have done behind your back?? Good for you for getting your kids out of there!!
Specializes in Education, Acute, Med/Surg, Tele, etc.
I don't know, I would have been very put off by her statement about doctor's alone. Since I believe in Doctors, and am a Nurse...and I do send my children in to Doctors when they are ill or hurt...that one would have had me taking my kids out of that daycare right away!
Don't get me wrong...that is a persons feeling about an issue, and I respect that...but I would be worried all the time that that daycare lady would put off a treament for my kids in times of emergencies because of her ideas! Nope..out I would have gone!
Yanking my child...well, I may have yanked her! No one touches my child in that way...I would have been livid!!!!! I would have reported that too and taken my kids far away from her! If she is that bold to do it in front of a parent...I have no doubts she does this and more inside the house (since she did it in your presence and then chewed you out shows little respect to you our yours! That is a good sign she has no respect or compassion towards anyone or anything!).
I am glad you got them out of there and reported her..I would have! Oh man I would have just gone off on her if she did that to my child! (but I would have left at the MD thing because that would have set me off..."um then what about nurses? Do you feel we kill people with medicine too???".).
My heart goes out to your poor little boy. What's the big deal about keychains, anyway? Kids are (at least mine are) fascinated by 'adult stuff' (I almost wrote 'adult toys', but that wouldn't have been the message I wanted to send :)
I'm glad you reported her and she's being investigated. How awful for your poor kids. I believe that kids will flourish in any environmnent that nurtures them. So, even if they are apart, if you have each in good care, I hope they do well.
In spite of the fact that your previous provider should not have cared for frogs, let alone innocent little kids.
I took my daughter out of a private home as soon as i felt uncomfortable when i picked her up. A comment made about leaving her with the daughter while she picked up her other kids at school in the afternoon (the daughter had dyed black hair and jet black makeup with a few select piercings) not someone i wanted taking care of my 8wk old. Finding her in the seat, the same place i left her, soaked diapers. I think it took me about 3 days to get her out of there.
I think moms have to go with and trust their GUT, if it doesnt feel right, it probly isnt.
My child is my breath and I would kill before I let him be harmed...I am sorry you had to go through this...noone deserves to be treated or talked to that way...especially not a child. Although, this particular incident in question isn't what I would define as child abuse, as someone else said, if she did THIS in front of you, what is she doing when you aren't there. A mother's instincts are very strong, you were certainly right in taking your children out of her care...Reporting was probably a good idea, what does it hurt? If they found nothing then you at least feel better that you reported it and the other children are safe, but its when you don't report it and god forbid something were to happen to another child, you'd never forgive yourself...Good luck!
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
I wouldn't call it child abuse, though her personality stinks. I'd let it go. Childcare styles differ.
THIS "style" should not be a daycare provider's style. This person needs another occupation, preferably not involving children and other vulnerable people.
THIS "style" should not be a daycare provider's style. This person needs another occupation, preferably not involving children and other vulnerable people.
Ok....let's see you leave your kids there then.... :smackingf: This person doesn't need another job....she needs professional mental help :stone
Good job in trusting you gut.....you should be proud of yourself... :)
bronxRN
4 Posts
just wanted to let all who gave me advice and support that i was contacted by the division of child day care licensing. seems i wasn't the only one complaining about her. some of the new kids in her care were hit allegedly, and the mothers asked "K" about it. of course, she freaked out like she did with me. the lady that called to talk to me about my complaint had also personally met and interviewed "K". that's when "K" knew she was in trouble, cause all the paperwork had to get handed over so she could call all current and recent former clients of hers.
as of today, i was told that her license is permanently revoked for child abuse, but she is still being investigated for more charges to be brought against her. i am so glad i trusted my instincts and got my children out of there before they really got hurt!
so thanks everyone for listening and giving me great advice!