i am a regular lurker and a sometimes poster here, but i choose to post this under another account.
i am a single mom, and work and go to school full-time, hence i need child care for my two preschoolers. i started with a in-home daycare as my kids could be together, and at first i liked the teacher/provider. but over the course of about 8 months, more and more things started to bother me.
"K" as i will call her, became more and more distant to my kids at dropoff, keeping me for half hour at a time at dropoff to discuss (what i see) trivial things, such as my daughters non interest in fruit, or her late toilet training, or my son's speech delay. when i suffered from some herniated discs and was getting epidural injections, i became so sick that it induced a lupus flare. i looked, and felt, like hell. out of friendly conversation, i mentioned that i had lupus. after that she began telling me about "someone she knows" who has lupus also, and how the doctors are all evil people who try to kill people with medicine, and don't know what they are doing, ad nauseum. i cut it off rather abruptly, and began seeking alternate care for my kids. there are many things that bothered me, but i won't bore everyone to death here.
the last straw was one morning, i dropped them off, and without a word, she swung open the door to her house to let us in. my son was carrying a keychain that he adores carrying with him in the car when we drive (which she doesn't allow at her house while he's there, that's fine, i usually take it away when i go). the first thing she does is gasps, rolls her eyes at me, and proceeds to yank his little 3 year old body into a sitting position on the floor, yelling at him that he can't have it, and then scolding me for allowing him to have such an inappropriate toy. my son was in tears as she proceeded to try to yank of his jacket. i stopped her, wanting to do some awful things, but calmly told her to take her hands off my son, and then i told her to gather my things that were at her house and informed her they would not be returning. she quickly began apologizing, and tried for ten minutes to convince me to let them stay, then tried to get me to sign a form of hers that said i was happy with her care. i got my kids and my things out of there, with my son still sobbing.
i have asked several colleagues and friends if they consider this abuse, and if it should be reported. what do you think? am i just over-reacting? or did "K" over-step her bounds? thanks to anyone who has read this far, and for any advice anyone can offer.
Specializes in Happily semi-retired; excited for the whole whammy.
I think you did the right thing by reporting it. Nothing is likely to come of it, if this is the only complaint, and if that's the case, no harm done. OTOH, if there's a history of problems with this person, or something else comes up later, your story can be part of the whole.
Gotta agree with everyone else here...that was my first thought as well, if she'd act that way in front of me how'd she act when I wasn't there...scareyyyy...glad you got your kids away from her...many years ago my son was staying at an 'at home' nursery..a woman I had known all my life growing up..I could never put my finger on any certain thing but I just had an uneasy feeling after a few months..my son always cried and seemed scared when I'd drop him off..took him outta there...I think Mom's have that 'gut instinct' for a reason....even if we don't know exactly WHAT it means.
How would you feel if something happened to other children in her care and you
had not reported it?
I think the incident needs to be reported.
EXACTLY!!! I totally agree with this decision. Report it and save the other children in "K's" care that may be subject to abuse as well. Her attitude and the way she behaved is totally unacceptable and inappropriate for a childcare provider. Alert Social Services to this behavior asap! :angryfire
I agree with everyone, but I have to ask, how do the kids act when they were left there? Have they said anything or acted in a way that could indicate that something happened to them? Their behaviors could probably also be used in a report to the authorities.
I have three preschoolers so I feel your pain. I really hope you find a good place soon
i am a regular lurker and a sometimes poster here, but i choose to post this under another account.
i am a single mom, and work and go to school full-time, hence i need child care for my two preschoolers. i started with a in-home daycare as my kids could be together, and at first i liked the teacher/provider. but over the course of about 8 months, more and more things started to bother me.
"K" as i will call her, became more and more distant to my kids at dropoff, keeping me for half hour at a time at dropoff to discuss (what i see) trivial things, such as my daughters non interest in fruit, or her late toilet training, or my son's speech delay. when i suffered from some herniated discs and was getting epidural injections, i became so sick that it induced a lupus flare. i looked, and felt, like hell. out of friendly conversation, i mentioned that i had lupus. after that she began telling me about "someone she knows" who has lupus also, and how the doctors are all evil people who try to kill people with medicine, and don't know what they are doing, ad nauseum. i cut it off rather abruptly, and began seeking alternate care for my kids. there are many things that bothered me, but i won't bore everyone to death here.
the last straw was one morning, i dropped them off, and without a word, she swung open the door to her house to let us in. my son was carrying a keychain that he adores carrying with him in the car when we drive (which she doesn't allow at her house while he's there, that's fine, i usually take it away when i go). the first thing she does is gasps, rolls her eyes at me, and proceeds to yank his little 3 year old body into a sitting position on the floor, yelling at him that he can't have it, and then scolding me for allowing him to have such an inappropriate toy. my son was in tears as she proceeded to try to yank of his jacket. i stopped her, wanting to do some awful things, but calmly told her to take her hands off my son, and then i told her to gather my things that were at her house and informed her they would not be returning. she quickly began apologizing, and tried for ten minutes to convince me to let them stay, then tried to get me to sign a form of hers that said i was happy with her care. i got my kids and my things out of there, with my son still sobbing.
i have asked several colleagues and friends if they consider this abuse, and if it should be reported. what do you think? am i just over-reacting? or did "K" over-step her bounds? thanks to anyone who has read this far, and for any advice anyone can offer.
The question is what is she doing when there are no grown ups present. If that were me, I would have grabbed her by the arm and pushed her to the floor and yelled, YOUR FIRED
if she is licensed, I would call the better business bureau or any agency which would have record of complaints on her business. I would also contact local newspaper to see if they've heard of anything... this type of thing scares me....
I was 20yrs old and made some very crummy decisions regarding childcare. :angryfire I have been through that with my oldest child. I was very lucky that he didn't get hurt or nothing ever happened to him. (He's 23y/o now) I had people such as a neighbor who would put the kids outside in the hot sun and leave them out while she would take off and walk to walmart, leaving her 12 yr old watching the kids. No water or anything! Then I had one who was an alcoholic and did some very strange things that I won't go into but I found that a reputable daycare was 10x better than someone who my family recommended or a neighbor who I had no references other than someone saying "oh she's nice".
You did not over react! Our kids only have us to take care of them. It doesn't matter what the "babysitter" thinks of you!!!
Specializes in ICU, PICC Nurse, Nursing Supervisor.
My babies are my life and they do not go to daycare for that one reason. I would have been calm, even after I knocked the hell out of her!!!!!!!:angryfire :angryfire :angryfire :angryfire :angryfire :smiley_ab
My babies are my life and they do not go to daycare for that one reason. I would have been calm, even after I knocked the hell out of her!!!!!!!:angryfire :angryfire :angryfire :angryfire :angryfire :smiley_ab
Hearing this statement alone from her would make me find other childcare. Quickly.
LydiaNN
2,756 Posts
I think you did the right thing by reporting it. Nothing is likely to come of it, if this is the only complaint, and if that's the case, no harm done. OTOH, if there's a history of problems with this person, or something else comes up later, your story can be part of the whole.