i am a regular lurker and a sometimes poster here, but i choose to post this under another account.
i am a single mom, and work and go to school full-time, hence i need child care for my two preschoolers. i started with a in-home daycare as my kids could be together, and at first i liked the teacher/provider. but over the course of about 8 months, more and more things started to bother me.
"K" as i will call her, became more and more distant to my kids at dropoff, keeping me for half hour at a time at dropoff to discuss (what i see) trivial things, such as my daughters non interest in fruit, or her late toilet training, or my son's speech delay. when i suffered from some herniated discs and was getting epidural injections, i became so sick that it induced a lupus flare. i looked, and felt, like hell. out of friendly conversation, i mentioned that i had lupus. after that she began telling me about "someone she knows" who has lupus also, and how the doctors are all evil people who try to kill people with medicine, and don't know what they are doing, ad nauseum. i cut it off rather abruptly, and began seeking alternate care for my kids. there are many things that bothered me, but i won't bore everyone to death here.
the last straw was one morning, i dropped them off, and without a word, she swung open the door to her house to let us in. my son was carrying a keychain that he adores carrying with him in the car when we drive (which she doesn't allow at her house while he's there, that's fine, i usually take it away when i go). the first thing she does is gasps, rolls her eyes at me, and proceeds to yank his little 3 year old body into a sitting position on the floor, yelling at him that he can't have it, and then scolding me for allowing him to have such an inappropriate toy. my son was in tears as she proceeded to try to yank of his jacket. i stopped her, wanting to do some awful things, but calmly told her to take her hands off my son, and then i told her to gather my things that were at her house and informed her they would not be returning. she quickly began apologizing, and tried for ten minutes to convince me to let them stay, then tried to get me to sign a form of hers that said i was happy with her care. i got my kids and my things out of there, with my son still sobbing.
i have asked several colleagues and friends if they consider this abuse, and if it should be reported. what do you think? am i just over-reacting? or did "K" over-step her bounds? thanks to anyone who has read this far, and for any advice anyone can offer.
I agree that the incident should be reported.The daycare woman is a professional who is paid to CARE for and nurture your child. Is this behaviour even close to 'care for' or 'nurture'? I think not. I'm glad mom followed her instincts and removed her kids. It is my personal opinion that both the yanking of the chain and coat constitute abuse behaviours. Where is the gentle respect and common courtesy for the young charge (the son)?This child is not chattel to be hauled about. Money can buy better 'care'.
Sorry for the repeats. I agree that the incident should be reported.The daycare woman is a professional who is paid to CARE for and nurture your children. Is this behaviour even close to 'care for' or 'nurture'? I think not. I'm glad mom followed her instincts and removed her kids. It is my personal opinion that the yanking of the son, the yelling, and rude removal of his coat and little toy constitute abuse behaviours. Where is the gentle respect and common courtesy for the young charge (the son)? This child is not chattel to be hauled about. Money can buy better care. thank-you to Paul Kivel for the courage of conviction, and to the lady who works with the child care worker-- yanking of a child is immediate grounds for dismissal.
just wanted to let all who gave me advice and support that i was contacted by the division of child day care licensing. seems i wasn't the only one complaining about her. some of the new kids in her care were hit allegedly, and the mothers asked "K" about it. of course, she freaked out like she did with me. the lady that called to talk to me about my complaint had also personally met and interviewed "K". that's when "K" knew she was in trouble, cause all the paperwork had to get handed over so she could call all current and recent former clients of hers.
as of today, i was told that her license is permanently revoked for child abuse, but she is still being investigated for more charges to be brought against her. i am so glad i trusted my instincts and got my children out of there before they really got hurt!
so thanks everyone for listening and giving me great advice!
I am so glad to hear that you had the guts to call and turn her in. Good for you!!
I had my oldest when I was only 22. I worked full time and needed some one to watch her during the day. A co-worker of mine offered to quit her job to stay home to take care of my daughter and start her own home daycare. I had known her for 6 or 7 months, been over to her house several times etc. I thought that she was a nice person. As the months passed by little things started to happen. My daughter wouldn't eat for her sitter. She would stay up all night on the week nights but sleep on the weekend nights. Just things I could not put my finger on. Then right about the time my little girl was 14 months old things changed. One day I went to pick up my little girl and the door was locked to the sitters house. I had gotten there a little early to do an admitted spot check but no one was answering the door. I walked around back....nothing.....I called nothing.... After 10 mins. I began to panic and was going to call the police when she finally came to the door. Claimed she couldn't hear me because she and the kids had been playing loud music (funny I hadn't heard it). I put my daughter in the car and she kept crying showing me her hand. I stopped and checked it out and it had some horrible burns on it. I called the sitter and she tried to say that my little one had been playing at the screen door and had been running her hands up and down the screen and that is what happened (yeah right!). On closer inspection by my husband, myself and the doctor we decided it looked like our little one had wrapped her hand around something hot like a curling iron. Needless to say that was our child's last day there and as far as I know "L" no longer watches children. She was not lic. so I could not have that taken away, but I told anyone and everyone that would listen not to take their kids to her.
thank-you to Paul Kivel for the courage of conviction, and to the lady who works with the child care worker-- yanking of a child is immediate grounds for dismissal.
zelebsel
6 Posts