Anyone else reallllllllllly tired of people on this board stooping to "You lack compassion, shame on you, you're a nurse" charge?
First off, it is a nothing more than an ad hominem attack in disguise, lets not fool ourselves about that
Second, to make broad assumptions about one's nursing practice based on interactions here is utter rubbish
No one on here is my patient
Nor are you co-workers
You are , people on a public message board
Additionally, Being assertive, calling out logical fallacies, asking for evidence, or pointing out the sometimes difficult truth is not indicative of one's compassion level
Please. Stop. Doing. This
The compassion gambit is petty, old, and beneath everyone
I suspect the real problem is the perception of this website, meaning that many people join thinking it is a SUPPORT GROUP of some type. That the purpose of all messages must be uplifting and cheerleading in nature. And that anything less than full-throttle agreement and support of any and all situations means the one who is un-cheerleaderlike is not doing is or her part as a member of....yes...the support group.
I didn't join a support group when I joined this website. I wanted to be able to engage in discussions, debates, see what others in my chosen career are dealing with in the course of theirs, and learn creative ways of coping with my own.
I agree with some, disagree with others.....I think highly of some, think some others are perfect idiots. It's life, not a Nurses Anonymous meeting
I suspect the real problem is the perception of this website, meaning that many people join thinking it is a SUPPORT GROUP of some type. That the purpose of all messages must be uplifting and cheerleading in nature. And that anything less than full-throttle agreement and support of any and all situations means the one who is un-cheerleaderlike is not doing is or her part as a member of....yes...the support group.
I didn't join a support group when I joined this website. I wanted to be able to engage in discussions, debates, see what others in my chosen career are dealing with in the course of theirs, and learn creative ways of coping with my own.
I agree with some, disagree with others.....I think highly of some, think some others are perfect idiots. It's life, not a Nurses Anonymous meeting
YES.
My reasons for joining were similar as well.
My musings in the past have been as to why some members feel the need to treat this site as a support group, then I think that there are people out there that desire connection such as this in a supporting way because they don't have any other avenues; however they forget or become shocked when members are not in agreement-sort of like they set themselves up to expectations instead of reality.
Some people have decided on their course of action and start a thread for validation only. When the responses are not in line with what the poster expected to hear, we are informed that we lack compassion.
Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
I think it's compassionate to give posters looking for advice the REAL life lessons they need to know. It's more compassionate to let them know, for example, that if they TRULY believe the only reason they're not getting along with their new colleagues is that they're so much more youthful and beautiful than said colleagues they're wrong than to let them find out the hard way from their real colleagues at their real jobs. it's more compassionate to let someone know that if EVERYONE she meets is a mean, nasty bully it's likely the problem isn't THEM, but HER than to let her find out the hard way a few years down the road when she's lost a few jobs and ruined her career. The problem is, the posters who need to hear these messages are the least likely to actually hear them and the most likely to decry lack of compassion of the posters who are saying what they don't want to hear.
I've pretty much decided that anyone who complains about the lack of compassion of posters who disagree with them deserve to learn these and other life lessons the difficult way, in real life, rather than from seasoned nurses on the internet.
Now if I could just contain my desire to teach them and walk away from the thread . . . .
Can I agree with OP and request to add the whole "Nursing is a calling "? Cause while it is for some, the rest of us shouldn't be made to feel inferior for wanting a paycheck.
Maybe our idea of what is compassionate varies? I tend to be goal oriented and work in a specialty with a large proportion of addictions and non compliance so to me it is compassionate to attempt to challenge flawed logic and push for improvement of function. I'm not wasting my time listening to the justifications that support the dangerous, cluster B driven behavior. To me the bleeding hearts, the codependent families and naive caregivers are not doing these people any favors and by coddling them. By being blindly supportive the are likely hastening their demise, imo.
How would it feel to be the provider who prescribed benzos to the patient with substance abuse who later OD'd or the parent who gave their daughter money for heroin that she ODd on because they didn't have the strength to say NO and were afraid if they did she would prostitute for it? I'm sorry but I'd rather feel as if I did everything I could to challenge the numerous justifications for why people do dangerous things. Our society now thinks everyone is a special snowflake and is a winner. No one wants to hear the word NO even if it is in their best interest. Its a shame, having boundaries and failing is a part of maturing and growing imo.
Where I work the patient is never wrong. NEVER. You can do a stellar job and they do not receive exactly what they want (even if it's not appropriate or legal to provider by law or policy) then they can file a complaint against you and it counts against your performance review.
I hear this constantly, but I never see this in practice. Where in blazes do you work and how many job applications do you have out right now?
I consider it compassionate to give bad news to a person plainly, without offering hope when there isn't any. You don't have to be brutal, but again, that's probably a matter of perception.
Most people prefer the hand holding, hopeful, bad news delivery that is kind, but not true.
I consider it compassionate to give bad news to a person plainly, without offering hope when there isn't any. You don't have to be brutal, but again, that's probably a matter of perception.
Most people prefer the hand holding, hopeful, bad news delivery that is kind, but not true.
What about the hand holding/ plain speak delivery? I'm working on that.
My reaction is that I prefer my nurses (as a patient and as a co-worker) to have compassion, but it is not the biggest priority...first, they should be skilled and good at what they do. Not sure what the post is about...but I agree that if someone disagrees with another on these boards, they should just skip the post and not get wrapped up in the "you aren't a good nurse" come backs when you don't really know the person.
Specializes in New Critical care NP, Critical care, Med-surg, LTC.
I think that there are a large number of people, including some nurses, that feel that being a nurse must be a calling for everyone. And if you have chosen to be a nurse, you have given up the right to: speak your mind if it isn't exactly what everyone else wants to hear, sit/eat/drink/use the bathroom if there is a single light on anywhere in your vicinity, put your family ahead of your job to preserve the work/life balance you try to maintain (like not picking up every free shift or every time asked) or do anything else other than be "on" as a nurse 24/7. It's unfortunate that misperceptions like these make people angry when nurses act like regular people with thoughts, feelings and sometimes arguments. I was not called to nursing, it was a practical decision for me based on previous education and flexibility in jobs, and I am not a touchy-feely person at all. I do not think these traits make me less of a nurse, but it may to some. If people come here and post something and then can't accept what is given in respectful responses the problem is with them, not the people writing a response that's intended on some level to help.
RNsRWe, ASN, RN
3 Articles; 10,428 Posts
I suspect the real problem is the perception of this website, meaning that many people join thinking it is a SUPPORT GROUP of some type. That the purpose of all messages must be uplifting and cheerleading in nature. And that anything less than full-throttle agreement and support of any and all situations means the one who is un-cheerleaderlike is not doing is or her part as a member of....yes...the support group.
I didn't join a support group when I joined this website. I wanted to be able to engage in discussions, debates, see what others in my chosen career are dealing with in the course of theirs, and learn creative ways of coping with my own.
I agree with some, disagree with others.....I think highly of some, think some others are perfect idiots. It's life, not a Nurses Anonymous meeting