Can we just agree, being honest is not akin to being "rude"?

[SmilingBluEyes]

I have noticed a rash of posters here asking for advice, opinions and help, only to get all puffed up when people are honest and frank in their replies.

Here is the basic rule on a general open forum such as this:

If you don't want to know the truth, don't ask. If you cannot handle the truth, don't put your situation out there for general consumption.

Another fact: People don't have to agree with you to be helpful.

Seriously so much "butt hurt" that is so unnecessary.

I see a lot of helpful posters trying to answer questions honestly, only to be slammed for being "rude"......

Just keepin' it real and wondering if it's just me noticing a big trend here.

[FlyingScot, RN]

Although I do like how you had reworded it, actually even with the second way, could be construed as sarcastic. As you repeat it, someone could say it in a sarcastic way that would be interpreted as they are doing it all wrong.

I used to be very sensitive, and still sometimes am, however, I have learned to not read into anything so much

Sometimes I think people choose to take things the wrong way because it suits their agenda.

[Farawyn]

Sometimes I think people choose to take things the wrong way because it suits their agenda.

What are you trying to say? How RUDE!!!

[dudette10, MSN, RN]

One more random thought about rude honesty: I don't think most people continue to reflect on something another person's said when that person really offended them. Some people are willing to do this kind of self-exploration; most are going to just shut down. So, there is an argument for being polite just so you are heard. There is no point in being honest if you are honest in such a way that the recipient rejects what you had to say just because of how you said it. You might as well be talking to a wall.

Bingo.

[RNsRWe, ASN, RN]

Sometimes I think people choose to take things the wrong way because it suits their agenda.

Maybe. After all, the guy who told me that I had reading comprehension problems, probably a learning disability (because I disagreed with his posts's content) couldn't understand how I could possibly take offense. Guess it must've been ME!

[SmilingBluEyes]

Good thoughts by everyone. Let me just say, I am offended that you all don't agree with me and give me positive affirmation for even starting the thread!!

Ha.

Anyhow, I also agree, talking online, we can't see facial expressions or hear tone. That is true. I think people being blunt or to the point are often mistaken as being "rude" or "harsh".........I never intend to be rude, ever.

I can be blunt; I know that. But I am earnest and if I am giving you advice, it's only my opinion, and we all have em. If anyone dislikes what I say, fine. Discount it. Block me if you feel I am constant thorn in your side. That is feature of the site that can make it more pleasant for some people.

Personally, I love when people disagree cause I get to see another point of view. It may n not change my beliefs or opinions, but I do respect each person here.

But as long as I abide by TOS and don't attack people personally, well, I am not likely to change.

I will tell it like it is. And you can do the same for me.

Just let's stop short of out and out insults, shall we???

Great input by everyone. I like how these threads do take on a life of their own, and whether I agree or not, I appreciate each of you and your opinions greatly. THANKS!!!

[Graduatenurse14]

Honestly more often, I feel quite the opposite. I cringe when I read the brutally honest and sometimes very insensitive comments from certain individuals and I wish they would stop with the guns a blazing rhetoric and just take it down a notch.

I agree 100%. Sometimes, I want to come on to see what's going on but I don't if I'm not up to seeing unnecessarily harsh and unhelpful replies or "guns blazing rhetoric." No one, not one person posts here to get more grief but by God, they all too often get it.

Not that this matters but I've wondered about the members who we can almost expect this from and wondered if they are mild at work but see the anonymity of the internet as a way to express another side of themselves or they are the same at work as they are on here. I have a mental list of those who I would love to work with and those I would never want to work with.

[SmilingBluEyes]

I think it will only escalate, as the generation of "everyone gets a trophy just for showing up" matures and enters the workforce---including nursing. Lots and lots of entitled princes and princesses coming up through the ranks...

Already seeing it. It's a real clash of values. The older generation who takes satisfaction from doing a job well, and the younger one that responds very much to positive feedback/input.

I think we can get along if we understand the differences among us and try hard to see where everyone is coming from.

I know my younger coworkers respond very well to positive feedback from me. I have learned to praise their good works, often, and thank them each day when it's over, for the opportunity to work with them.

It works well. I get along with the younger ones and I have noticed they really do try hard to work well with me, and are great coworkers.

We ALL like to be appreciated. Just some of us see "appreciation" differently. We have to bridge those gaps somehow, cause we are going to be working together for a long time. Retirement is a LONG way off for me. I have to learn how the younger generation thinks and work with I have got.

Being a Gen-X'er myself I know we are raising/have raised our younger generation....we have to face what has come about. I am not a Boomer, nor am I a millenial. I do see both "sides" here.

WE made mistakes like every generation does, in raising our kids. However, IF we bother to learn what motivates and satisfies them, it will be win-win.

[Red Kryptonite]

Whew.... I think we just saw an example with the very short-lived "too fat to be a nurse" thread that the mods deleted. That chick went crazy and absolutely no one said anything rude. She sure didn't like being asked a question though. Yeesh.

[FlyingScot, RN]

Maybe. After all, the guy who told me that I had reading comprehension problems, probably a learning disability (because I disagreed with his posts's content) couldn't understand how I could possibly take offense. Guess it must've been ME!

Yes, I find that telling people that they aren't the sharpest crayon in the box is a fine way to make friends.

[Red Kryptonite]

we are raising/have raised our younger generation....we have to face what has come about. .

Glad somebody pointed this out. Too many people complain about how the younger set act without turning a mirror on themselves. Where do you think they learned to behave how they do? From the people that raised them!

So many grandparents and great-grandparents are watching what's happening now and saying, "See? Told ya! Wish you would have listened!"

[SmilingBluEyes]

Insulting others' reading comprehension and education is very rude. It's not being "honest" or "blunt"; it's being insulting. THAT from what I understand is against the Terms of Service for this site.

Siri said it well: report people who are deliberately insulting then refuse to respond to their posts. Let the Mods do their job.

And then, block such people from your view. Feeding their negative energy just makes things much worse.

[SmilingBluEyes]

I think it would do us good to remember that we raised the "princes and princesses" in our ranks. Sure, individually, we may not have done so intentionally, But a perfect example is giving out trophies for sports just for showing up. In my day (yea I am old) the only ones receiving trophies were ones who were outstanding in their performance. It never made me feel like a "loser" for not getting one. It did, however, drive me to perform better.