Can we just agree, being honest is not akin to being "rude"?

thevez · Apr 15, 2015

Always think before you speak. However you delivered an honest statement will depend if you are rude or not.

Eg:

You don't know how to start an IV?

Vs

What parts of starting an IV do you need help with?

Libby1987 · Apr 15, 2015

I'm not a wordsmith so not sure if juxtaposition is the one I'm looking for.. anyone? Maybe just ironic.

Aside from also thinking that more than a few would benefit from a little more self possession with a tougher or slipperier skin, it is a little entertaining to see those who speak frankly objecting to being called rude.

Pot/Kettle? Right back atcha? Butthurt by the butthurt?

Susie2310 · Apr 15, 2015

I know people read posts here that they think are rude, mean-spirited, and insensitive. I should have clarified that within honest there is rude sometimes and within rude there can be bullying.
There's a good chance a person reading a post to someone else might perceive it to be mean-spirited and the recipient find it honest and helpful.
I've learned not to read too much in the "likes" because I, and perhaps others do the like for reasons other than that they agree with all of the content.

Rudeness, meanness, and insensitivity are more than just a purely subjective phenomenon, as you are appearing to portray. I think Gooselady expressed this well in her post.

Rudeness is uncivil, impolite, often offensive behavior, that is generally recognized as such.

Of course the "likes" are not absolutely indicative of complete agreement with a post. However, they do at least indicate some degree of approval and agreement.

Farawyn · Apr 15, 2015

I'm not a wordsmith so not sure if juxtaposition is the one I'm looking for.. anyone? Maybe just ironic.
Aside from also thinking that more than a few would benefit from a little more self possession with a tougher or slipperier skin, it is a little entertaining to see those who speak frankly objecting to being called rude.
Pot/Kettle? Right back atcha? Butthurt by the butthurt?

What is this "butthurt" you speak of?

Libby1987 · Apr 15, 2015

What is this "butthurt" you speak of?

It's a slang term used to call someome a baby for being over sensitive, whether subjectively deserved or not. "Stop being so butthurt!"

I think it's an inappropriate term to be used by an adult but it can be fitting at times.

OCNRN63, RN · Apr 15, 2015

I have noticed a rash of posters here asking for advice, opinions and help, only to get all puffed up when people are honest and frank in their replies.
Here is the basic rule on a general open forum such as this:
If you don't want to know the truth, don't ask. If you cannot handle the truth, don't put your situation out there for general consumption.

Another fact: People don't have to agree with you to be helpful.
Seriously so much "butt hurt" that is so unnecessary.
I see a lot of helpful posters trying to answer questions honestly, only to be slammed for being "rude"......
Just keepin' it real and wondering if it's just me noticing a big trend here.

One of the reasons I've decided to stop answering many requests for help, opinions, etc. It's just not worth it. People don't want advice, they want unconditional affirmation.

RNNPICU, BSN, RN · Apr 15, 2015

Always think before you speak. However you delivered an honest statement will depend if you are rude or not.
Eg:
You don't know how to start an IV?
Vs
What parts of starting an IV do you need help with?

Although I do like how you had reworded it, actually even with the second way, could be construed as sarcastic. As you repeat it, someone could say it in a sarcastic way that would be interpreted as they are doing it all wrong.

I used to be very sensitive, and still sometimes am, however, I have learned to not read into anything so much

Meriwhen, ASN, BSN, MSN, RN · Apr 15, 2015

Always think before you speak. However you delivered an honest statement will depend if you are rude or not.
Eg:
You don't know how to start an IV?
Vs
What parts of starting an IV do you need help with?

And let's not forget that tone of voice you use when saying, "What parts of starting an IV do you need help with?" can also be the difference between it being rude and not rude.

ETA: I see the PP beat me to the punch :)

brandiep1982 · Apr 15, 2015

Although I do like how you had reworded it, actually even with the second way, could be construed as sarcastic. As you repeat it, someone could say it in a sarcastic way that would be interpreted as they are doing it all wrong.
I used to be very sensitive, and still sometimes am, however, I have learned to not read into anything so much

I agree with you. Anything can be taken to be sarcastic/rude even if it really wasn't intended, even if the poster was actually conscious of the fact that their words could be taken in a way not intended and tried to write their words in a way to avoid such misunderstanding... there are times when how a person perceives things says more about them than the writer.

I have posted things that were taken in a way I did not intend. It is going to happen with so many different personalities, especially in this medium where tone and inflection of voice cannot be expressed.

Meriwhen, ASN, BSN, MSN, RN · Apr 15, 2015

I agree with you. Anything can be taken to be sarcastic/rude even if it really wasn't intended, even if the poster was actually conscious of the fact that their words could be taken in a way not intended and tried to write their words in a way to avoid such misunderstanding... there are times when how a person perceives things says more about them than the writer.
I have posted things that were taken in a way I did not intend. It is going to happen with so many different personalities, especially in this medium where tone and inflection of voice cannot be expressed.

I think that's the hardest part in communicating on forums/online: there's no audio/visual cues to help you infer the real intent behind what a person says...er, writes. You can't see a person's face to see if they really mean what they say or watch their body language, All there are are words on a screen, which have to be taken by themselves at face value. And you have to take a chance and presume that the person writing those words means well.

Unfortunately, some people are quick to read the worst in anything.

BuckyBadgerRN, ASN, RN · Apr 15, 2015

I think it will only escalate, as the generation of "everyone gets a trophy just for showing up" matures and enters the workforce---including nursing. Lots and lots of entitled princes and princesses coming up through the ranks...

BuckyBadgerRN, ASN, RN · Apr 15, 2015

Farawyn---get used to this new term, it is used a LOT nowadays!!!

What is this "butthurt" you speak of?