I work in a LTC/ Skilled nursing facility, and i would like to hear some opinions about calling long-term residents "sweetie", "honey" or "hun", etc. This is the persons home, and calling them Mrs. or Mr. is textbook and so formal. Of course, i would ask "is it alright if i call you sweetie? or do you prefer Mr. or Mrs." because i customize my care to whatever they would desire.
So whats your opinions on this? (Keep in mind also that i live in the south-ish, FL, were this is common etiquette) :heartbeat i do find it to be inappropriate in acute care settings, because i don't know the person well
:redlight:I AM ONLY REFERRING TO LONG TERM CARE PATIENTS. thank you:redlight:
I think it depends on the culture of your area. It's not really strange here. Everyone calls everyone "Dear." A lot of small old fishing or logging towns. It's a pretty small place and seems like everyone either knows each other or knows a friend or relative. Normal to hear a pt say "Now Dear... are my test results back yet?" or to hear a nurse say, "Now my doll... let me help you move up in bed." or even hear our local docs (man or woman) say, "My love, It's got you're results back." No disrespect is meant, and as far as I have seen non has been taken either!
This is very much a "depends on the circumstances" situation. I find absolutes on this topic to be SO unrealistic. Of course, if you are not comfortable ever calling anyone "honey" or "sweetheart" or any other term of endearment, then by all means, don't ever do it! But there are definitely circumstances where I believe it is most assuredly appropriate depending upon the CIRCUMSTANCE and people involved! If you work in LTC and you get to know these people well and you really feel endeared to them and they are a-ok with being called these things (and I'm sorry, if they had a problem with it, you would know eventually) then what is the problem? I am reminded of a recent ER visit with my 13 year old son. He was there for a very personal issue. The triage nurse took one look at him, realized what his problem was, and said "oh sweetheart, don't worry. we will take really good care of you and give you all the privacy you need." When she left the room he looked at me and said "she is really good, huh?". She had immediately put him at ease with the way she addressed him. Now I'm not equating elderly clients with a 13 year old boy, but again, CIRCUMSTANCES.
Oh i completely 100% agree! I'm not one to say "take your pills honey" its more of a greeting for me like "how are you feelin' hun?" I definitly call the by their proper name in other situations, again, customized care ;p
i have family in a dementia care unit. the decline was fast. it is heartbreaking to witness, he was the family patriarch as well as a beloved community leader.
i went to visit him and recall how good it made me feel when i heard staff address him as mr ______. it retains,for a ltc resident, what very well may be the last remaining shred of dignity . in fact, it might be even more important to honor dignity in ltc. it is good for the family to witness the honoring of their loved one's dignity.
When I was hospitalized I liked the nurses that called me pet names better. I felt like they cared more. However I don't feel comfortable calling pts pet names, just not my style.
On initial introduction, I always say Mr. ---- Ms. ---- or Mrs. ---- ; sometimes Sir, never Marm. I know from reading the H&P their marital/partnership status.
I introduce myself using my first name.
If they ask me to call them by their first name, which is more often than not, then I do.
I will only use "dear" etc. in conjunction with their name; e.g., Sally dear, is it OK if I check your blood pressure/listen to your lungs/empty your catheter bag?
Sometimes I slip and call the resident "dear, sweetie, etc"
I usually call them by their first name. Unless its careplanned that they wish to be called something different. One of my residents prefers to be called Grandma. So thats what we call her. She thinks we are all her grandchildren.
I find it repulsive and unprofessional. We all have names use them to address some one I find it offensive when called "sweetie" "hon" etc...and so should everyone who considers themselves professionals.,
My manager called me "sweetie" one time and I was stunned. I wondered about him.
I call residents, "Dear Heart", "Hon", etc......but only if I MEAN it, AND they look OK with it. Otherwise it's just their name. Sometimes I use "Mr." or "Mrs." especially for people who seem like they need extra dignity and respect.
I use pet names because I have so much affection for many of these residents (who I've known for years) AND because I have so little time in which to express this affection. I'm doing the room-to-room dash trying to do all the Tx for 60 residents in 2 hours plus helping other caregivers. I counted once and in all my working hours I have 2-3 minutes per resident to do all of the following:
1) preparing for the Tx
2) having the interaction
3) documenting the Tx
Some of the Tx's take upwards of 10 minutes. Sometimes emergencies eat up whole 30 minute chunks of time during Tx passes since during 911 calls I must stay with the resident from the time we determine they need the trip to the hospital until the moment EMT's take them out the door.
I have so much affection and so little time to express it that I've had to learn to squish as much affection into each microsecond as possible while staying task oriented. Pet names are one small part of my personal solution to this time crunch.
If I could sit and talk with each resident and express care in other ways pet names would feel less essential to me. But I can't, so, honey, have a good night, and sweet dreams.
In the old days would you call your friends mom or dad sweetie or hon? No; It's Mrs. so and so and Mr. so and so etc... It's a sign of respect and I always call residents or clients or patients by their names. As one person put it; it makes me cringe when I hear nurses lumping older people into one big sweetie. Unless it's care planned to call them a certain name please be respectful and learn their names.
Well you'll have a problem with me as your patient. You can call me honey. You can call me sweetie. You can call me the b word that rhymes with witch. But don't EVER call me "Mrs." When my husband got married, he didn't change from Mr. to anything else. When I got married, I didn't change from Ms. to anything else. (Ok, I did change my last name.) Mrs is a huge pet peeve of mine. IMO, it implies that marriage changes the type of respect due a woman in her salutation.
See my previous post. No hard and fast rules. CONTEXT.
LPNweezy
188 Posts
Oh i completely 100% agree! I'm not one to say "take your pills honey" its more of a greeting for me like "how are you feelin' hun?" I definitly call the by their proper name in other situations, again, customized care ;p
but i totally agree with you :)