I work in a LTC/ Skilled nursing facility, and i would like to hear some opinions about calling long-term residents "sweetie", "honey" or "hun", etc. This is the persons home, and calling them Mrs. or Mr. is textbook and so formal. Of course, i would ask "is it alright if i call you sweetie? or do you prefer Mr. or Mrs." because i customize my care to whatever they would desire.
So whats your opinions on this? (Keep in mind also that i live in the south-ish, FL, were this is common etiquette) :heartbeat i do find it to be inappropriate in acute care settings, because i don't know the person well
:redlight:I AM ONLY REFERRING TO LONG TERM CARE PATIENTS. thank you:redlight:
Depends - used to have a resident who insisted that everybody call her by her nickname, and if you didn't she'd been known to slap you! I'd rather call somebody whatever they want than get slapped because I think their choice is "inappropriate"
Also, for staff that's worked there for years and years and years who know these people as well or better than their own families do...somehow, a term of affection or endearment doesn't seem unprofessional to me. I also don't think that anybody's going to be saying "Just a minute hon', we're rolling you into the ambulance now." in an emergency! Professionalism has degrees, and using your own best judgement for the situation should be a fairly solid rule of thumb for most sensible professionals.
Specializes in LTC,Hospice/palliative care,acute care.
In LTC this is a dignity issue and one that the department of health has really zoned in on in the past.I t really does not matter what we think or fell about it.We are not to use diminutives when addressing these residents. On admission we ask them or their families what they like to be called and we stick with that. And careplan it AND write any nicknames on the MAR for all staff.
Personally I HATE "hun" or "honey" and "sweetie" from almost all of my co-workers because it sounds so fake and I feel that it is demeaning to an elderly resident. Like it's too much trouble to bother finding out someone's name and use it. You can tell the difference between a staff member who really likes the resident and is close to them and someone being a schmartorifice with a difficult resident.That's what I really dislike...That sugary sweet and sarcastic " Now HONEY you have to take this pill"
I find it condescending and unprofessional. I have heard some nurses who address the residents this way and I think some of them do it because they dont want to be bothered to remember the residents name.
LTC is so much different than acute care. After awhile, you are second family to these residents and vice versa. As opposed to acute care, in LTC you get to know your patient better. I once had a patient who wanted to be called Grandma. This name was safest name to use, because she had split personalities (more than Sybil). You never called her by her real name, because that would upset her if she was not herself (given name) that day. If I walked into a room and called one of my elderly patients Grandma (even if she preferred it) in acute care, everyone would probably be aghast. Maybe this does not address your question of calling a patient sweetie or honey, but I guess my point is that in LTC names are usually not as formal, unless the patient requests it.
This is sort of off topic....but does point out the need to careplan any unusual nicknames....
one day the state was in and one of the male aides came to get a demented gentleman for his weekly shower
"come on Dippy it's time for your shower"....well! the state lady near died.....went on a tear.....the staff grinned, and said "come here, let us show you the careplan"......He had run a donut shop for prob 30+ years and his nickname was Dippy from that time, and it is what he responded to......
(Keep in mind also that i live in the south-ish, FL, were this is common etiquette)
Just because it is common practice amongst nurses doesn't mean that it's appropriate or the patients like it. I'm from the south, so I understand the cultural practice you're referring to. What many nurses don't realize is that most of their elderly patients "agree" to be called honey/sweetie/etc because they are being polite. Too polite to tell you that you're being unprofessional ... my very proper "sweet little old lady" gramma can still give quite the dramatic eye roll when some ditz in scrubs gets done calling her sweetheart :redbeathe.
There are people who have the ability to "get away with things"- whether it is outrageous fashion or eccentric behavior, some people can pull it off where most of us cannot.
Some nurses can get away with calling people pet names and people love it. The rest of us better stick to something more formal.
For example, there is no way I could call someone "honey" and make it sound natural.
Personally I HATE "hun" or "honey" and "sweetie" from almost all of my co-workers because it sounds so fake and I feel that it is demeaning to an elderly resident.
I find it condescending and unprofessional.
I mean having a 30 something calling a pt "cutie pie" and"sweetie pie" it is just too much!
Specializes in Surgery, Tele, OB, Peds,ED-True Float RN.
I think it depends on the culture of your area. It's not really strange here. Everyone calls everyone "Dear." A lot of small old fishing or logging towns. It's a pretty small place and seems like everyone either knows each other or knows a friend or relative. Normal to hear a pt say "Now Dear... are my test results back yet?" or to hear a nurse say, "Now my doll... let me help you move up in bed." or even hear our local docs (man or woman) say, "My love, It's got you're results back." No disrespect is meant, and as far as I have seen non has been taken either!
I was brought up, and shellacked solid, to call older people Mr/Ms Whatever. I thank goodness for that because I show more respect than I feel sometimes, and that's a great thing. I really dislike hearing the "sweetie" and "dearie" references. Patients are in some very compromising positions and we need to overcompensate with small gestures of respect- including calling them by name.
That said, in LTC the care given speaks louder about the respect and dignity given the residents, more than any silly name.
MurrR
136 Posts
Depends - used to have a resident who insisted that everybody call her by her nickname, and if you didn't she'd been known to slap you! I'd rather call somebody whatever they want than get slapped because I think their choice is "inappropriate"
Also, for staff that's worked there for years and years and years who know these people as well or better than their own families do...somehow, a term of affection or endearment doesn't seem unprofessional to me. I also don't think that anybody's going to be saying "Just a minute hon', we're rolling you into the ambulance now." in an emergency! Professionalism has degrees, and using your own best judgement for the situation should be a fairly solid rule of thumb for most sensible professionals.