I work in a LTC/ Skilled nursing facility, and i would like to hear some opinions about calling long-term residents "sweetie", "honey" or "hun", etc. This is the persons home, and calling them Mrs. or Mr. is textbook and so formal. Of course, i would ask "is it alright if i call you sweetie? or do you prefer Mr. or Mrs." because i customize my care to whatever they would desire.
So whats your opinions on this? (Keep in mind also that i live in the south-ish, FL, were this is common etiquette) :heartbeat i do find it to be inappropriate in acute care settings, because i don't know the person well
:redlight:I AM ONLY REFERRING TO LONG TERM CARE PATIENTS. thank you:redlight:
I have so much affection and so little time to express it that I've had to learn to squish as much affection into each microsecond as possible while staying task oriented. Pet names are one small part of my personal solution to this time crunch.
What a nice post. I think you must be a genuinely kind and generous person, and I'm sure your residents know this.
I work in LTC and it is hard to not call your residents honey, or dear or buddy when you see this person everyday for atleast 8 hrs/day. I usually call my residents by their first name, but on occassion a "whats going on dear" or "how ya doing buddy" will come out. I know that state does not like terms of endearment, and that nursing schools all say No No to that kind of thing, but in reality, these people become a second family and it is gonna happen on occassion. It does NOT mean I am being disrespectful in anyway. It does not mean I do not know their name. I think if my residents heard me calling them Mr. or Mrs So & So they would be like "whats wrong with him, did I do something to upset him". Maybe things are different in acute care, or maybe its the community I live in, but when you are taking care of someone's toileting/hygeine needs on a regular daily basis, calling them Mr/Mrs whatever seems a bit cold to me.
p.s. when I first started working in LTC, I had a resident that I called Mr. so & so, he politely told me "the only Mr. so & so he knew was his father and he had been dead for years". The guy was 90 y.o and was a treasure!:)
Specializes in UM,Psych, Military, Substance Abuse, SNF.
I play it by ear. If it's a new resident I'm a bit more formal and I ask what they would like to be called. If I've known them awhile and they use terms of endearment for me, I return the endearment in kind. I will use first names, too, but I've found that using words like "sweetie" or "honey" can help in certain cases. Prime example: yesterday one of my dialysis patients was irate because she is on fluid restrictions and didn't understand why we couldn't give her extra water. Instead of approaching her in an authoritarian manner and calling her "Mrs. Doe" or "Jane" I approached her with, "Tell me what's wrong 'Jane,' honey." This didn't completely curb her agitation, but it did help as I'd been secretly privy to the attitude she gave to the aide who spoke with her earlier on the same subject who had addressed her as "Mrs. Doe."
I work in LTC and it is hard to not call your residents honey, or dear or buddy when you see this person everyday for atleast 8 hrs/day. I usually call my residents by their first name, but on occassion a "whats going on dear" or "how ya doing buddy" will come out. I know that state does not like terms of endearment, and that nursing schools all say No No to that kind of thing, but in reality, these people become a second family and it is gonna happen on occassion. It does NOT mean I am being disrespectful in anyway. It does not mean I do not know their name. I think if my residents heard me calling them Mr. or Mrs So & So they would be like "whats wrong with him, did I do something to upset him". Maybe things are different in acute care, or maybe its the community I live in, but when you are taking care of someone's toileting/hygeine needs on a regular daily basis, calling them Mr/Mrs whatever seems a bit cold to me.
p.s. when I first started working in LTC, I had a resident that I called Mr. so & so, he politely told me "the only Mr. so & so he knew was his father and he had been dead for years". The guy was 90 y.o and was a treasure!:)
I "NEVER" call residents by pet names. My grandmother, if still alive, would have wooden spooned the back of my head so hard if she thought I did. That being said I use two forms of address..for example lets say I have a resident named Jane Doe. If I have known them less then a week or so I call them Ms Doe (or Mrs if appropriate). After that I may refer to them by their first name...still with a formal address in front "Ms Jane are you ready for a neb treatment?" and since I work nights I may use combinations when trying to rouse a resident for meds.
I have seen many of my aides use pet names and I don't normally correct them unless I see it becoming obnoxious or clearly distressing to the pt. We have one dementia pt who will not answer to his name as i use it..lets call him John Doe...but the aides call him Papa John or Papa Doe and he responds instantly in a positive manor. For the record I work in the midwest and I am a male..calling a female resident at my facility (who can run the age range of 20-100+) by any "cutsie" names would be highly inappropriate.
Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
I don't care for the practice.
I find it condescending to call an adult "dear," or "sweetie," or "honey." I sure as heck wouldn't like it. I work with a nurse who is considerably younger than me; she even call me "dear." For the sake of peace on our unit, I overlook it, but I cringe when she calls our patients by those names. It infantilizes them. They're adults.
Specializes in Long term care, rehab, memory care.
I have only ever had 1 resident be offended by names of affection, so I try to be careful about asking them before I do. In 5 years of LTC/skilled nursing only the 1 responded negatively. Others have said it's sweet of me to ask & that they would like that. (It also helps me when I can't remember a name. I think I have worked too long around dementia patients. lol)
I live in the South and this seems to be an accepted practice by many here. I find it inappropriate. It makes my mother angry -- really angry. She finds it very disrespectful. She would like to be asked. If you are working in a LTC setting, it would be natural to be less formal eventually. But doing this in an acute care setting (hospital, emergency room, outpatient, OR, etc.) is VERY lazy & offensive. I'm under 50, have had a few hospitalizations over the past couple of years and probably 50% of my caregivers did the "honey, sugar, babe" (or variations thereof) thing. I found it VERY insulting. Maybe next time I'm the patient I'll just address all my caregivers that way and see what happens! haha!
I really dislike hearing staff call residents/patients "honey", "sweetie", or the one I most hate "mamma", etc. Where do you draw the line? Is "sweet cheeks" ok? "Lover buns"? Probably not, so neither is "honey". Their parents named them James or Sally or Vickie, that's what I call them. If they want to be called Mrs. Smith, then Mrs. Smith it is.
I also cringe when I hear others say "you know I love you". Or "who loves you honey, I do".
I feel we are professionals and need to act that way.
Specializes in Gerontology, Med surg, Home Health.
I am a YANKEE and call my patients Mr. Smith or Mrs. Jones unless they ask me to call them Ted or Mabel. I DO NOT like it when people call me hon or dear or sweetie...especially the teenage waitress at the diner. It makes me feel old and disrespected. I did, however, have a resident in long term care who did not want me to call her by her first name. She said she wanted a name just for herself that no one else but me could call her. Odd for sure but whatcha gonna do? We agreed on My Little Cupcake which she loved. Yep, surveyors turned red in the face, but it was documented so ...........
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(It also helps me when I can't remember a name. I think I have worked too long around dementia patients. lol) 
BluegrassRN
1,188 Posts
What a nice post. I think you must be a genuinely kind and generous person, and I'm sure your residents know this.