I work in a LTC/ Skilled nursing facility, and i would like to hear some opinions about calling long-term residents "sweetie", "honey" or "hun", etc. This is the persons home, and calling them Mrs. or Mr. is textbook and so formal. Of course, i would ask "is it alright if i call you sweetie? or do you prefer Mr. or Mrs." because i customize my care to whatever they would desire.
So whats your opinions on this? (Keep in mind also that i live in the south-ish, FL, were this is common etiquette) :heartbeat i do find it to be inappropriate in acute care settings, because i don't know the person well
:redlight:I AM ONLY REFERRING TO LONG TERM CARE PATIENTS. thank you:redlight:
I am a YANKEE and call my patients Mr. Smith or Mrs. Jones unless they ask me to call them Ted or Mabel. I DO NOT like it when people call me hon or dear or sweetie...especially the teenage waitress at the diner. It makes me feel old and disrespected. I did, however, have a resident in long term care who did not want me to call her by her first name. She said she wanted a name just for herself that no one else but me could call her. Odd for sure but whatcha gonna do? We agreed on My Little Cupcake which she loved. Yep, surveyors turned red in the face, but it was documented so ...........
Oh, she sounds like she must have been a Little Cupcake. :redpinkhe
I work at a children's home. In general, I do call my residents by their names, but they also like nicknames and petnames, as any other kids would.
"Honey" and "Sweetie" are not my style, but it's not uncommon for me to use some variant of their name when talking to them. For example, Tashey instead of Natasha. We have a resident who loves to be called Pooh (though it's not in her careplan, so we can't do it around state...but she loves it and responds better to it when upset).
Sometimes I might call someone "sis" or something like that, if I'm giving a bath or something where I'm talking to someone for an extended period of time...it seems odd to me to say someone's name over and over, so I might say something like "alright, roll over, sis".
To me, there's a difference between an affectionate nickname and calling everyone "honey" so you don't have to bother to learn their name. And in most cases, in general, I imagine the residents can tell the difference, too.
To me, there's a difference between an affectionate nickname and calling everyone "honey" so you don't have to bother to learn their name. And in most cases, in general, I imagine the residents can tell the difference, too.
I concur!
I'm not a nurse yet, just a caregiver. I work private duty though, so it's a 1:1 position. I obviously know my client's name. But a lot of times during the care , I will use a term like honey or sweetie, or say something like 'take care sweetheart!' at the end of my shift. It's not because I don't know the client's name!
As the above poster stated, to me it matters more of the intent behind calling someone a nickname. If you are doing it to blanket everyone so you don't have to learn a name, I dislike that and find it inappropriate. If you are saying a nickname as a term of endearment, I don't have an issue with it.
I work in a long term mental health facility. When I accept a new admission, the first thing I try to do is ask the new patient what he/she would like to be called. Most of our patients prefer to be called by their given first names, and some like to be called Mr./Mrs./Ms./Mz. *****. While other nurses call some of the patients "Dear, or honey, or something else", It seems wrong for me, as a man, to be calling a patient something like that. It is also a step towards self-protection where I work. Working in Psych, some patients, either through delusions, or trying to manipulate the staff, try to accuse staff members of all sorts of things, especially female clients accusing male staff of things. So, calling a female patient with a petname is just opening a window for those accusations.
Specializes in Plastics. General Surgery. ITU. Oncology.
Well I'm English and I always ask by what name patients would prefer. Usually it is by their Christian name but if I am unsure or meeting a patient for the first time I always use "Sir" or "Madam" in addressing them.
Personally, I try to figure out what the resident is comfortable with.
I once had a former marine as a resident that responded very well when I addressed him as sir or Sergent, but not as well by his first name. He appreciated the respect.
On the other hand I once had a resident that insisted that we all call her "Grandma" - its what she was comfortable with.
However, I've also had residents that respond better to a "Good Morning, Hun!".
When I am not sure I do as I learned while living in Texas... I don't say Mr. Smith or Mrs. Jones, but there does seem to be a nice medium by saying something like "How is your day going, Miss or Ms. Margaret"
I think this is the same as figuring out that the resident in room 13 might like his curtains closed every night while the resident in room 24 likes her curtains open and her TV on because its too dark for her without it.
I see nothing wrong with saying honey, or sweetie, IF that is agreeable to the resident. I think its an individual thing that needs an individual approach.
Having said that, I am not the most PC person. I believe in being human. I think that most residents like not feeling like they are in a separate social network than we are.
As an older nurse, I would like to weigh in on this topic of calling patients by pet names; i.e. "sweetie", "honey", "dear", etc.
I have had waitpersons and sales clerks address me by each of the above terms and I find it VERY offensive. I have even told a couple of them that this is degrading to the older person and feels dismissive and manipulative...
Usually I do not say anything but I am strongly considering telling them that these endearing terms are reserved for my closest one to call me if/when he so choses.
I only allow my children and their spouses to address me as Ma, Mom, or Momma. The rest of the world may call me by my first name or by Mrs. (last name) as I will call them.
In LTC I always asked my patients what they wanted to be called. I just see it as more professional and respectful. Whatever their present condition in life, the fact that they have attained their age should mean something, shouldn't it?
I'm a lifelong New Englander with Southern parents. I think using "pet names" for the elderly is insulting. When I worked LTC, I always called residents by their first name or Mr/Ms. X.
Yup, and I tell the person if they call me Mrs. to please not. Just like if someone is irritated or offended by my calling them whatever I called them, they can tell me.
caliotter3
38,333 Posts
Oh, she sounds like she must have been a Little Cupcake. :redpinkhe